Flirts-With-Trees Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) Right, this is my first time posting though I 've been quietly stalking the forums for a while now. Makes for a fun read filled with interesting people. Anyways consider this my turning on the proverbial Bat Signal. Gotham city needs YOU! Right where was I. Last year was a very hard patch, romantically, ended a very serious relationship. She was a girl that I could see spending the rest of my life with, although I did not tell her that ( only 25, I 'd think it 'd freak her out, who knows now). It was a very difficult relationship from the get-go. She was bipolar and she had ISSUES; capital letters are warranted, trust me. One day I 'd be God and the next day she 'd barely talk to me. I wasn't the most stable of people, emotionally at the time, probably because I really was crazy in love with her at that time too, anyways the whole thing crashed and burned at some point last June. Since then I really kinda felt like avoiding women. I was going through a bit of a mourning period you can say. I did not even want to think about the possibility of dating, I think there was no point, since relationships are just gonna end up hurting you in the end. (In retrospect immature though, but I guess one that is natural). So due to emotional and financial reasons I packed up and left to another country. After I got things settled here I started getting interesting in flirting with women again. I made an OKCupid profile and started talking to some women there. A few days ago, I was talking to a particular girl there and we completely hit it off. We exchanged like 60 messages in like 48 hours or something. At some point I mention that they 're playing "Swan Lake" in the local playhouse and that I 've been dying to see it, and probably I am going to. She responds that she loves it as well and that she has noone to go with her so I suggest we go together, she accepts. We go for a pre-show drink, talk, everything natural, and non-stressed. Kinda feeling ya get like you 've known that person for a long-time y' know? Anyways we go to the ballet (If anyone is interested, they opted for the ending where everyone dies in the end, and yeah I payed for the tickets and would have none of it, I don't let women pay on the first date, no matter what). After it ended I suggest going for drinks at this local pub I know. We stay there for like 5 hours, drinking. We must have been the last customers at some point because we were politely asked to get the hell out But in general, talked about everything, from the meaning of life, God, eradication of violence, wars, Star Trek (Which she loves and I am a crazy big fan of), all the way to travelling around the world and seeing EVERYTHING. I tried being a bit physical during this time, brushing her leg or resting my arm on her knee at some point, she didn't seem to mind. She also did this weird thing which, I am hoping some woman here would explain, she had this shawl and while wearing a lets say "revealing" dress she would cover her bussom and then a few seconds later just remove it all together. Must have happened at least 10 times, which I found weird. (I am not the direct-looking at the chest- guy, by the way). Anyways, we left the pub, and she said that she had to take a cab back home because it was late. I offered to go by my apt. since it was close and we could call a cab from there. Anyways, just before she is about to leave and we go for that "goodnight hug" thing I turn my head and plant one on her lips. Nothing serious, no more than a second but she didn't seem to pull away from. Anyways to the reason why I actually made this LONG-ASS fragging post. A) I explained everything in detail because I actually got ZERO skills at reading situations or people. Most of the time I have to guess. How does the whole situation look to you? B) How should I approach things from now on? What should my next step be? C) In the past I was too afraid to make a move, when out with a girl which made most of them turn to friendships and I don't want that to happen now, but on the other hand I don't want to be too forward. What should I do? I haven't allowed myself to "like" someone in a while, and truth be told, even though I am a bit afraid of admitting it, I really like this girl, our interests match to such a weird degree, we 're both very emotional people and both adore Leonard Cohen, I really don't wanna screw it up and that happens usually cause I am a very forward, all or nothing person but I feel like taking this slow and steady. Please shine me with your wisdom people! God knows I need it! Anyways, Big love to the LS community! Cheers Edited March 24, 2013 by Flirts-With-Trees
kassy Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I'd say it went really well. As for the shawl, she might have been hot and cold, nervous fidgeting. Might have felt a bit uncomfortable in her dress. Whatever it was I wouldn't think about it any more. Ask her out on another date, if it goes well maybe try for a kiss at the end, if you want to take it slow, then just end it similarly to this time and go for the kiss on the third date. If she likes you and is having fun, she will be happy as long as you keep asking her out at the beginning, if she doesn't like you... Well it doesn't really matter what you do.
Author Flirts-With-Trees Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 Thats the thing though, I want to take it slow. Its just that I am afraid that taking it slow in today's age makes ya look uninterested or that you view someone as a friend or such. I don't want to get close to someone really fast, again. It may sound a bit "girlish" I suppose but I want to play it a bit safe. However I am just worried that if you don't try to have sex with a girl at the start that this will somehow turn them off or such. I 've had it happen to me before, that's why I am worried. How can I take it slow, yet be sure that I am not giving the wrong signal or that she doesn't mind?
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