irc333 Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I have a male friend of mine that I've known for a few years...we don't hang out, but we do tend to get along socially every time we see each other. Well, he brought 2 attractive women with him (they didn't ride with him, they met him there in separate vehicles)to a Meetup event for Game Night. They weren't really into that kind of thing, but we were able to talk them into a game of Apples to Apples. After we've had our fill of fun card games....me, him, her, and a dating couple were chatting about dating and relationships, etc. So we kind of built rapport with each other that way. The woman next to me started showing pictures of her family on her Iphone with me. So I got to know her a little, but not a whole lot. I didn't want to interrogate her with questions about herself, but just go with the flow in regards to the game we were playing and talking about certain current events and topics like traveling and dating. Anyhow, I'm getting tired...and so are they and figured we'd all go home...we left the house, we all said good byes....and I went home. I thought about contacting him and saying, "Hey, those were nice ladies that we talked to, think we might get another opportunity to see them again, because I've kind of taken a liking to the one next to me." I didn't really want to ask for her digits right there...just yet, but just wanted a 2nd opportunity to get to know them at another event, perhaps get him to invite them back out again, or maybe even make arrangements to "double date". I wasn't entirely sure what is intentions were with both of them either...so I dunno....he was talking to the other girl and it sounded like he wanted to go out camping some day....and asked the girl next to him if she wanted to come as well. I was wondering if he was trying to establish some thing romantic with either one of, so as to at least have ONE as a back up. I dunno. lol I have just known SOME Men to HOG all the women., meaning if a single man had an opportunity to spend time with 5 other single women, he'd not be a wing man to men asking him, "Hey, what's your friends name, is she single? Care to hook a guy up on we can double?" Not sure what to do in a situation like this...but I"m thinking of asking him about getting those ladies to attend another event.
TigerCub Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Just call the guy and chat and then say 'Hey what's going on with you and [insert her name here]?" If he says "nothing she's just a friend I hang out with sometimes" then ask for her number. If he says "I'm trying to date her and that other girl with us was her friend that she keeps including" then Abort mission - and leave him to try & date her. I he says "oh she's cool, just someone I "have fun with" sometimes" then abort mission unless you're cool with getting your friend's seconds. If you're interested in her get her number (if your friend isn't interested in dating her) don't do the whole "oh bring her out once more and we can all hang out as a group and blah blah" just be direct and go for it - what are you scared of? btw - what happened to the girl you had a church date with - are you not still dating her? 1
RedRobin Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Just relax and keep going to the Meetups... don't worry about this guy and certainly don't be trying to get his help to leverage one of these other ladies. If one of the ladies took a liking to you, she'll be keeping her eye on the Meetup calendar and making sure she's at the same place at the same time. Just chill. If you see one of them there again and have the chance to talk more... and it turns out you have some other interests besides that one, then maybe you can suggest another Meetup event WITH her... just like he did. 1
Radu Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 You should have asked for her number. Why didn't you ?
Author irc333 Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 Just relax and keep going to the Meetups... don't worry about this guy and certainly don't be trying to get his help to leverage one of these other ladies. If one of the ladies took a liking to you, she'll be keeping her eye on the Meetup calendar and making sure she's at the same place at the same time. Just chill. If you see one of them there again and have the chance to talk more... and it turns out you have some other interests besides that one, then maybe you can suggest another Meetup event WITH her... just like he did. Actually, they are not members of Meetup, they were just his"+2's" that he just got come to the event. That's why I want to suggest to him to perhaps make arrangements to get them out again to an event at least. I didn't ask for her phone #, because everyone was within ear shot of each other...and didn't want to put her on the spot while her friends would over hear such a conversation.
TigerCub Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Actually, they are not members of Meetup, they were just his"+2's" that he just got come to the event. That's why I want to suggest to him to perhaps make arrangements to get them out again to an event at least. I didn't ask for her phone #, because everyone was within ear shot of each other...and didn't want to put her on the spot while her friends would over hear such a conversation. Really? That's the reason or you didn't want to risk getting rejected in front of so many people? Which btw is understandable, but at least admit it. It wasn't just about not putting her on the spot. If you ask the guy to set something up so that you can see her again - It just comes off as asking your big brother to help you get a girl - just ask him for her number and you take care of the rest.
Author irc333 Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 Really? That's the reason or you didn't want to risk getting rejected in front of so many people? Which btw is understandable, but at least admit it. It wasn't just about not putting her on the spot. If you ask the guy to set something up so that you can see her again - It just comes off as asking your big brother to help you get a girl - just ask him for her number and you take care of the rest. Okay, I can use that as an option, too. I might be doing that if such an arrangement cannot be arranged. Like tonight, a male friend of mine called and said he and a small group of friends from the Meetup are getting together at a friends house to see a movie. Coincidentally, there will be some single women there...just sayin'....but yeah, friend of mine tells me there just some situations where you don't put a woman on a spot....with everyone looking on , makes her self-consious, Now, if I had gotten her alone, which I could not, that I could've asked for her number. THere was just never a situation where I could get her alone to do so. One really has to take these things on a case-by-case basis.
TigerCub Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Okay, I can use that as an option, too. I might be doing that if such an arrangement cannot be arranged. Like tonight, a male friend of mine called and said he and a small group of friends from the Meetup are getting together at a friends house to see a movie. Coincidentally, there will be some single women there...just sayin'....but yeah, friend of mine tells me there just some situations where you don't put a woman on a spot....with everyone looking on , makes her self-consious, Now, if I had gotten her alone, which I could not, that I could've asked for her number. THere was just never a situation where I could get her alone to do so. One really has to take these things on a case-by-case basis. It's good that you didn't want to put her on the spot - I agree with that and I get that - but I think it was also about you not wanting to risk rejection in front of people - so why not admit that as well. It wasn't just about her - that's all I'm saying. Seems like you're always doing meet ups. Hope you eventually meet someone that it works out with. You never answered my question about church date lady- did you have any other dates after the church date?
Author irc333 Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 You never answered my question about church date lady- did you have any other dates after the church date? Nope....she stopped even being responsive since that day...guess she had a feeling I wanted to date her.
TigerCub Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Nope....she stopped even being responsive since that day...guess she had a feeling I wanted to date her. Sorry - well good luck with this new girl
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