westjames111 Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 It's been 2 and half months since my ex left me for another guy. I suffered hard and battled depression for the first month and a half. She wanted nothing to do with me at all, and I went no contact about 2-3 weeks ago. I have made so much progress and I feel so much better! I am happy again and feel alive once more. 2 weeks ago I hung out with a girl I know. It felt pretty good to interact with a female again and we had fun just talking ad stuff. She posted a picture of us on Instagram from that night while we were hanging and somehow "tonight" 2 weeks later my ex has found it. I have no idea how but she did. After not talking to me for 3 weeks, and over 2 months since she left me, I get a text from her with a screencap of the pic she posted and the message "F*** YOU". What is up with this? How big of a hypocrite can she be? She told me to move on and see other people and she definitely left me for someone else, so whats this nonsense. Oh and I didnt reply. I immediately deleted the message and went on with my day. Just thinking back to it now it is kind of confusing.
Thunderchild Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 It's been 2 and half months since my ex left me for another guy. I suffered hard and battled depression for the first month and a half. She wanted nothing to do with me at all, and I went no contact about 2-3 weeks ago. I have made so much progress and I feel so much better! I am happy again and feel alive once more. 2 weeks ago I hung out with a girl I know. It felt pretty good to interact with a female again and we had fun just talking ad stuff. She posted a picture of us on Instagram from that night while we were hanging and somehow "tonight" 2 weeks later my ex has found it. I have no idea how but she did. After not talking to me for 3 weeks, and over 2 months since she left me, I get a text from her with a screencap of the pic she posted and the message "F*** YOU". What is up with this? How big of a hypocrite can she be? She told me to move on and see other people and she definitely left me for someone else, so whats this nonsense. Oh and I didnt reply. I immediately deleted the message and went on with my day. Just thinking back to it now it is kind of confusing. Don't worry about what she thinks - she's made her bed, let her lie on it. You did exactly the right thing - keep on doing it. 4
KatZee Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Jokes on her. Grass isn't as green on the other side as she originally thought. She sounds like a psycho to be honest. 3
Compromize Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 So she left you for another guy and has the audacity to send you a F**k you when, after 2 and a half months, you hang out with a female?! I don't even know what to say man. Good job for deleting and not replying, I am sure you (as would I) had several choice words you wanted to say back. Wow, I guess she probably thought that you would be waiting for her as her backup plan. Sounds like her new guy isn't/wasn't all that if she was taking the time (and effort) into checking into your life and having it hurt her so much or be so offended by you actually having a life after her that she replied in such a way. What's really confusing is how the hell people can be so messed up. What a self-righteous bit&h your ex is man. I hope you are telling yourself good riddance! If not I am for you! Sounds like you may need to block her. This may be the start of her harassing you. She even probably feels like everything she did was now "justified". Dizzy bit&h..... Keep your chin up bro and don't get caught up in this crap! 1
Author westjames111 Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 So she left you for another guy and has the audacity to send you a F**k you when, after 2 and a half months, you hang out with a female?! I don't even know what to say man. Good job for deleting and not replying, I am sure you (as would I) had several choice words you wanted to say back. Wow, I guess she probably thought that you would be waiting for her as her backup plan. Sounds like her new guy isn't/wasn't all that if she was taking the time (and effort) into checking into your life and having it hurt her so much or be so offended by you actually having a life after her that she replied in such a way. What's really confusing is how the hell people can be so messed up. What a self-righteous bit&h your ex is man. I hope you are telling yourself good riddance! If not I am for you! Sounds like you may need to block her. This may be the start of her harassing you. She even probably feels like everything she did was now "justified". Dizzy bit&h..... Keep your chin up bro and don't get caught up in this crap! Well I think I know why she checked up on me. We are both in college and this week is spring break. I guess he went back to his home for the break and she is back home in our home town, as am I. She doesn't have any friends here and I guess she has had time alone to think about what I was up to. It's so aggravating though. I have a feeling that this inst going to be the last I hear of her. I am just going to keep ignoring and keep my progress moving forward. 1
Author westjames111 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 My ex text me again today. The text said "how could you". I once again ignored it and deleted it. I can feel now though that it is messing with my head. Before this all started happening 3 days ago I was doing a lot better. Now that she has broken no contact I can feel it becoming more present in my mind again. I have started to do the thing where I start thinking about her or if she is going to make contact. Not that I want her to, or that I want to be with her, but I want her to suffer like I had to when she left me. Her texting me is showing me she is starting to, and it making my head go places it shouldn't. The worst part is I had gotten to the point where i didn't even care about her or her happiness anymore. I guess all I can do is continue not replying and hope it stops soon. It kind of feels good, because I know I am on her mind, but at the same time its hard to receive texts from her. Any tips?
Am4Real Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 It seems like a bait trap and you are all the wiser for not taking it. However...she "left you for another guy", you say. Was there a reason in her mind for leaving you and finding someone else? Can that be part of her bitterness? My ex text me again today. The text said "how could you". I once again ignored it and deleted it. I can feel now though that it is messing with my head. Before this all started happening 3 days ago I was doing a lot better. Now that she has broken no contact I can feel it becoming more present in my mind again. I have started to do the thing where I start thinking about her or if she is going to make contact. Not that I want her to, or that I want to be with her, but I want her to suffer like I had to when she left me. Her texting me is showing me she is starting to, and it making my head go places it shouldn't. The worst part is I had gotten to the point where i didn't even care about her or her happiness anymore. I guess all I can do is continue not replying and hope it stops soon. It kind of feels good, because I know I am on her mind, but at the same time its hard to receive texts from her. Any tips?
Author westjames111 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 It seems like a bait trap and you are all the wiser for not taking it. However...she "left you for another guy", you say. Was there a reason in her mind for leaving you and finding someone else? Can that be part of her bitterness? It's a long story as to why she left. We had broken up previously and been apart for some time. She begged for me the whole time we weren't together but i knew it was best to stay apart for awhile, because it would of gone bad again just as it was before. I finally took her back in December and all was good. We dated and pretty much everything was fine for a month until January she got mad at me for not hanging out with her enough, and not including me in all of my plans with friends etc. She found this guy and left me for him because she liked the way he treated her more than me. The funny thing is I actually introduced her to him because he was an acquaintance of mine a "friend" to some extent. She said he treated her like she wanted to be treated unlike I did, even though I gave this girl the world. So she left me for someone else, and basically made me out to be the worst person in the world. She has text at random times throughout this telling me she misses me and stuff, but the past 3 weeks she stopped and went no contact. I tortured myself for months and now that I hang with another she shows back up into my life complaining about how bad of a person I am...
Am4Real Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Bottom line: you lost interest in her by leaving her alone.she lost interest in you for being alone and not being included. She feels neglected -- you don't make it up to her. She finds new guy. You find new girl. She tries to move on but is bitter for being neglected = unresloved issues. She sees photo of you with new girl = reminder of unresolved issue. You post here trying to understand why she was angry = you already knew the answer (see #1, #2, #3) The end. If you care to avoid something like this in the future, give the woman you're with lots of attention and she is not likely to complain or seek attention elsewhere. It's a long story as to why she left. We had broken up previously and been apart for some time. She begged for me the whole time we weren't together but i knew it was best to stay apart for awhile, because it would of gone bad again just as it was before. I finally took her back in December and all was good. We dated and pretty much everything was fine for a month until January she got mad at me for not hanging out with her enough, and not including me in all of my plans with friends etc. She found this guy and left me for him because she liked the way he treated her more than me. The funny thing is I actually introduced her to him because he was an acquaintance of mine a "friend" to some extent. She said he treated her like she wanted to be treated unlike I did, even though I gave this girl the world. So she left me for someone else, and basically made me out to be the worst person in the world. She has text at random times throughout this telling me she misses me and stuff, but the past 3 weeks she stopped and went no contact. I tortured myself for months and now that I hang with another she shows back up into my life complaining about how bad of a person I am...
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Uhhh. Not so fast. That is great advice on paper, but it doesn't always work this way. Women want a challenge and if you give too much attention, it can backfire. Just sayin'
Am4Real Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 If you're single, alone and on LS you might want to reconsider that belief. Just kidding with you. In the courting stage all that might be true, however once you're a couple you don't neglect the other person no matter what your sex is, it's not a healthy relationship in that case and trouble is usually looming. Uhhh. Not so fast. That is great advice on paper, but it doesn't always work this way. Women want a challenge and if you give too much attention, it can backfire. Just sayin'
Author westjames111 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 She didn't even go into this naturally. When I met her she made me make all the moves I had to work hard for her, and we dated for 3 months before we even got into a relationship. She went after this guy hardcore. She acted very unnatural doing things she wouldn't normally do to get his acceptance. "Partying" She is with him almost 24/7 and if she is not with him she contacts me. He at one point even found out she was still talking to me and left her. She made him a promise that she wouldn't talk to him so he would take her back. "the 3 weeks no contact" This week she broke that promise I guess. Its like she is forcing it to work, which is fine by me. I just wish she wouldnt try to drag me along.
Author westjames111 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Bottom line: you lost interest in her by leaving her alone.she lost interest in you for being alone and not being included. She feels neglected -- you don't make it up to her. She finds new guy. You find new girl.She tries to move on but is bitter for being neglected = unresloved issues.She sees photo of you with new girl = reminder of unresolved issue.You post here trying to understand why she was angry = you already knew the answer (see #1, #2, #3) The end. If you care to avoid something like this in the future, give the woman you're with lots of attention and she is not likely to complain or seek attention elsewhere. Just to clear things up I didnt neglect her. I just like to have friend time sometimes. You know maybe one day a week where it is just all guys. I don't see a problem with that. She hated it though.
Am4Real Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Read this carefully and then read it over and over and over: She hated it though Get it now? Just to clear things up I didnt neglect her. I just like to have friend time sometimes. You know maybe one day a week where it is just all guys. I don't see a problem with that. She hated it though.
fancy feast Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Sounds like a whole lot of not your problem anymore. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 at 4Real: No, I agree. Neglect is BS and mind games. I'm just saying be careful how much you give. For me, I was the giver in the RS. I always gave way more cuz I was so into her. And looking back, I wish I hadn't, or at least seen the red flag that it was increasingly one-sided. Actually, I did see it, I just tried to change her (enter more problems). Even in this situation, she still decided she wanted to be alone rather than with me Hence my theory of pace yourself on the attention given. A little mystery, a little questioning is good. If they always get what they want, they become bore and unchallenged, then you're TOAST!!
Author westjames111 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Read this carefully and then read it over and over and over: She hated it though Get it now? Alright well I guess if that your perspective. I just thought relationships were suppose to be 50/50. You give some you take some. I let her hang out with friends and I never complained. She would of done it anyway, as did I if she had complained. I will just keep ignoring her and try to keep on pushing forward. I will find someone one day who is for me I hope. I appreciate your responses, thanks.
Author westjames111 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 just one last update guys. She just sent me a picture of my house.. while she was diving by. How can I stop this?
Am4Real Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 West, You're all good! You'll figure it all out, you sound like a reasonable person. Ignore the photo and perhaps figure out a way to block her messages. Her motives are pretty clear and despite her reasons, she is making a fool out of herself now, making you look pretty good to all of here on LS. 1
Standard-Fare Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 WestJames, the first two texts were weird but the photo of your house?! That's some psycho ****. You absolutely have done the right thing in ignoring her, and as you can see it's driving her crazy. Next up, you need to block her number so she can't get to you through either phone calls or texts. Ideally set something up where she will automatically receive a response that says something like "Text message undelivered." It does seem like this is going to continue. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Alright well I guess if that your perspective. I just thought relationships were suppose to be 50/50. You give some you take some. I let her hang out with friends and I never complained. She would of done it anyway, as did I if she had complained. I will just keep ignoring her and try to keep on pushing forward. I will find someone one day who is for me I hope. I appreciate your responses, thanks. Relationships are supposed to be 50/50, or close to it. You and your ex just weren't compatible and her behavior since the breakup confirms it. 1
misswillow Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 just one last update guys. She just sent me a picture of my house.. while she was diving by. How can I stop this? That's a little creepy. I would try to block her - if you can't do it on your phone, I think you can contact your cell phone carrier and they will do it.
Standard-Fare Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 If you can't block, look into auto responses. I only know how to do this for Droid but I'm sure there's something for iphones. With a preliminary search, I found this, for example: iPhone AutoResponder Sends Automatic Message Replies | The iPhone FAQ So, even though yes you will still have to get her damn messages, you can set it up to auto-respond to her something that sounds generic and cold and formal, like: "Texts from this number have been disabled." 1
SendHope Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Bottom line: you lost interest in her by leaving her alone.she lost interest in you for being alone and not being included. She feels neglected -- you don't make it up to her. She finds new guy. You find new girl. She tries to move on but is bitter for being neglected = unresloved issues. She sees photo of you with new girl = reminder of unresolved issue. You post here trying to understand why she was angry = you already knew the answer (see #1, #2, #3) The end. If you care to avoid something like this in the future, give the woman you're with lots of attention and she is not likely to complain or seek attention elsewhere. Ehh I don't buy that at all. Let's take his word that he didn't neglect her at all (friend time is ok once in a while) then that means that this girl most likely doesn't have much going on outside of him. He shouldn't be faulted for that. A good relationship is where both individuals have active lives outside each other. I guarantee that this girl would feel "neglected" in the future again regardless of who she's with.
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