So I went off the deep end last night...

[Drummerboy420]

Since the breakup with my ex of 6 years, I have gone out many times and had fun with friends, or alone. I have also been drunk on many of these occasions, and NEVER drunk texted her. Ever. We've been split up nearly 4 months and she has been dating. I went full NC as of St. Patty's Day because I couldn't handle it. Said goodbye while getting the last of my things, wished her well. She cried her eyes out, I stayed strong.

 

Well.. Last night I had my first drunk meltdown. I drunk texted her. Told her I loved her. She asked if that was for her. I said yes and that I'm pathetic. She asked if I needed to talk. I said I didn't know. She called. I stood outside the bar talking to her. She could tell I was wasted. I honestly cannot remember the last time I got so bad off. But what doesn't make any sense at all about it, is that up to that point, I was having a blast! I was having a hella fun night out by myself! What the hell? I have no idea what triggered that. She came and got me and took me home. I insisted that she didn't, but she was worried about me and didn't want me driving home. I broke down in front of her in her car before passing out. She said it broke her heart.

 

We talked a little bit today. She filled in some of the blanks for me because I forgot most of what happened after the car ride. Apparently I couldn't walk straight or even stand that well. I didn't think I had that much to drink. I must have just lost track in the midst of talking to people and having a good time. I apologized to her a ton, she told me it's ok, and that I don't need to feel embarassed. She was just worried about me. There were apparently some funny things, like me semi protesting her taking my shoes off. And my sneezing and smacking my face into a pot (my barf bucket for the night. lol) in my sleep. I vaguely remember her wrapping me in a blanket. She left me a few post it notes. One on my phone and one in my room. One signed off: "Love, *****", and the other: "Love always, *****." She said she wanted to stay the night but was worried about my best friend/roommate having an issue with it. Not sure why, because I know he wouldn't have had a problem. He and another mutual friend came home not long after we did. While talking today, she admitted to having a breakdown earlier the same night. Just cried and cried. Said she had been in a funk all week. She had been questioning her dating, and isn't really sure what she's doing. She doesn't want to get into another relationship because she is enjoying her freedom. I admitted that I am enjoying mine as well. She said we both have a lot of things we are sorting out with ourselves, and she is right about that. We both admitted to being selfish. She can't bear the thought of me gone for good out of her life, but I can't handle her getting into a relationship with another guy. The conversation wasn't totally serious. I made her laugh a bunch, and we joked about things. I told her about the good parts of last night, before someone flipped a switch and I lost it. We talked for a solid 2 1/2 hours.

 

So far we left off with the possibility of limited contact. I don't plan on initiating much. I'm skeptical about her stopping dating. I don't think she will. But she did say she is scared of relationships right now, and isn't feeling any emotion towards anyone. She admitted that the closest she got to having any feelings towards anyone after me was the first rebound. I told her that I'm not gonna shy away from dating, but that it isn't high on my priority list. Because it truly isn't. I am enjoying doing whatever whenever. This is so odd. I know she still cares about me. I doubted for a while, but then she did what she did last night. She has said more than once that she doesn't care who she is with or what she's doing, that she would drop it to come help me if I ever need it. I'm not the type of person who likes being rescued in any way and she knows that. We have had our fair share of rescuing each other, though.

 

Is this as unusual as it feels and sounds?

Edited March 24, 2013 by Drummerboy420

[Thunderchild]

Since the breakup with my ex of 6 years, I have gone out many times and had fun with friends, or alone. I have also been drunk on many of these occasions, and NEVER drunk texted her. Ever. We've been split up nearly 4 months and she has been dating. I went full NC as of St. Patty's Day because I couldn't handle it. Said goodbye while getting the last of my things, wished her well. She cried her eyes out, I stayed strong.

 

Well.. Last night I had my first drunk meltdown. I drunk texted her. Told her I loved her. She asked if that was for her. I said yes and that I'm pathetic. She asked if I needed to talk. I said I didn't know. She called. I stood outside the bar talking to her. She could tell I was wasted. I honestly cannot remember the last time I got so bad off. But what doesn't make any sense at all about it, is that up to that point, I was having a blast! I was having a hella fun night out by myself! What the hell? I have no idea what triggered that. She came and got me and took me home. I insisted that she didn't, but she was worried about me and didn't want me driving home. I broke down in front of her in her car before passing out. She said it broke her heart.

 

We talked a little bit today. She filled in some of the blanks for me because I forgot most of what happened after the car ride. Apparently I couldn't walk straight or even stand that well. I didn't think I had that much to drink. I must have just lost track in the midst of talking to people and having a good time. I apologized to her a ton, she told me it's ok, and that I don't need to feel embarassed. She was just worried about me. There were apparently some funny things, like me semi protesting her taking my shoes off. And my sneezing and smacking my face into a pot (my barf bucket for the night. lol) in my sleep. I vaguely remember her wrapping me in a blanket. She left me a few post it notes. One on my phone and one in my room. One signed off: "Love, *****", and the other: "Love always, *****." She said she wanted to stay the night but was worried about my best friend/roommate having an issue with it. Not sure why, because I know he wouldn't have had a problem. He and another mutual friend came home not long after we did. While talking today, she admitted to having a breakdown earlier the same night. Just cried and cried. Said she had been in a funk all week. She had been questioning her dating, and isn't really sure what she's doing. She doesn't want to get into another relationship because she is enjoying her freedom. I admitted that I am enjoying mine as well. She said we both have a lot of things we are sorting out with ourselves, and she is right about that. We both admitted to being selfish. She can't bear the thought of me gone for good out of her life, but I can't handle her getting into a relationship with another guy. The conversation wasn't totally serious. I made her laugh a bunch, and we joked about things. I told her about the good parts of last night, before someone flipped a switch and I lost it. We talked for a solid 2 1/2 hours.

 

So far we left off with the possibility of limited contact. I don't plan on initiating much. I'm skeptical about her stopping dating. I don't think she will. But she did say she is scared of relationships right now, and isn't feeling any emotion towards anyone. She admitted that the closest she got to having any feelings towards anyone after me was the first rebound. I told her that I'm not gonna shy away from dating, but that it isn't high on my priority list. Because it truly isn't. I am enjoying doing whatever whenever. This is so odd. I know she still cares about me. I doubted for a while, but then she did what she did last night. She has said more than once that she doesn't care who she is with or what she's doing, that she would drop it to come help me if I ever need it. I'm not the type of person who likes being rescued in any way and she knows that. We have had our fair share of rescuing each other, though.

 

Is this as unusual as it feels and sounds?

 

Make sure thats he doesn't 'friendzone' you!

[wheream_i]

Since the breakup with my ex of 6 years, I have gone out many times and had fun with friends, or alone. I have also been drunk on many of these occasions, and NEVER drunk texted her. Ever. We've been split up nearly 4 months and she has been dating. I went full NC as of St. Patty's Day because I couldn't handle it. Said goodbye while getting the last of my things, wished her well. She cried her eyes out, I stayed strong.

 

Well.. Last night I had my first drunk meltdown. I drunk texted her. Told her I loved her. She asked if that was for her. I said yes and that I'm pathetic. She asked if I needed to talk. I said I didn't know. She called. I stood outside the bar talking to her. She could tell I was wasted. I honestly cannot remember the last time I got so bad off. But what doesn't make any sense at all about it, is that up to that point, I was having a blast! I was having a hella fun night out by myself! What the hell? I have no idea what triggered that. She came and got me and took me home. I insisted that she didn't, but she was worried about me and didn't want me driving home. I broke down in front of her in her car before passing out. She said it broke her heart.

 

We talked a little bit today. She filled in some of the blanks for me because I forgot most of what happened after the car ride. Apparently I couldn't walk straight or even stand that well. I didn't think I had that much to drink. I must have just lost track in the midst of talking to people and having a good time. I apologized to her a ton, she told me it's ok, and that I don't need to feel embarassed. She was just worried about me. There were apparently some funny things, like me semi protesting her taking my shoes off. And my sneezing and smacking my face into a pot (my barf bucket for the night. lol) in my sleep. I vaguely remember her wrapping me in a blanket. She left me a few post it notes. One on my phone and one in my room. One signed off: "Love, *****", and the other: "Love always, *****." She said she wanted to stay the night but was worried about my best friend/roommate having an issue with it. Not sure why, because I know he wouldn't have had a problem. He and another mutual friend came home not long after we did. While talking today, she admitted to having a breakdown earlier the same night. Just cried and cried. Said she had been in a funk all week. She had been questioning her dating, and isn't really sure what she's doing. She doesn't want to get into another relationship because she is enjoying her freedom. I admitted that I am enjoying mine as well. She said we both have a lot of things we are sorting out with ourselves, and she is right about that. We both admitted to being selfish. She can't bear the thought of me gone for good out of her life, but I can't handle her getting into a relationship with another guy. The conversation wasn't totally serious. I made her laugh a bunch, and we joked about things. I told her about the good parts of last night, before someone flipped a switch and I lost it. We talked for a solid 2 1/2 hours.

 

So far we left off with the possibility of limited contact. I don't plan on initiating much. I'm skeptical about her stopping dating. I don't think she will. But she did say she is scared of relationships right now, and isn't feeling any emotion towards anyone. She admitted that the closest she got to having any feelings towards anyone after me was the first rebound. I told her that I'm not gonna shy away from dating, but that it isn't high on my priority list. Because it truly isn't. I am enjoying doing whatever whenever. This is so odd. I know she still cares about me. I doubted for a while, but then she did what she did last night. She has said more than once that she doesn't care who she is with or what she's doing, that she would drop it to come help me if I ever need it. I'm not the type of person who likes being rescued in any way and she knows that. We have had our fair share of rescuing each other, though.

 

Is this as unusual as it feels and sounds?

 

 

I'm only responding because I'm a fellow drummer and I can relate. Take care.

[NapoleonNotSheep]

Probably she was lonely. And you can't believe that she would drop everything to help you. She thinks this way now but when it will come to something like that who knows what she will do and how she will think...

[Rebecca1134]

My ex and I broke up a few times and dated other people just to always come back to each other. Im not giving you false hope, but she obviously still cares if she came and picked you up. My ex is now with a new girl and he refuses to ever see me. so...thats all I'm saying...

[Am4Real]

So sorry....

 

Sounds like back to DAY ONE you go...

 

The dreads of alcohol when you're trying to get over someone; we've all been there.

 

So, what's next?

[Drummerboy420]

Surprisingly, I don't feel like I'm back to day 1. I'm just gonna go back to NC. If she wants to communicate, she can initiate it. I'm gonna go back to the mindset that she isn't coming back. I need to let her go.

[anna121]

 

Is this as unusual as it feels and sounds?

 

No. It happens all the time when people are adjusting to a break-up. You had a weak moment, and she responded. By itself, it doesn't mean anything.

[Drummerboy420]

No. It happens all the time when people are adjusting to a break-up. You had a weak moment, and she responded. By itself, it doesn't mean anything.

 

Yeah. I am making it a point to stay away like I've been doing. I've got things I've been doing to help myself feel better. I am also gonna make sure that a night like Friday night never happens again. I had an up and down week, but overall I haven't been a basketcase.

[Am4Real]

Agree.

 

Add a #3) find a phone buddy; if you ever have the urge again call the "buddy"

 

1.) Stop drinking

 

2.) Leave her alone, and go on your separate way.

 

Every time you do this it hurts you in the long run.