TheBladeRunner Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Hello LS'ers, just looking for an opinion here. I notice some people are putting pics of them and their kids in their profiles, what are your thoughts on this. I am tempted because my kid is great and very cute, but I don't think I will as there are so many wack-a-doodles on the internet. I am curious to see what you guys think regarding why it would be OK or why it wouldn't. Like I said, I think I will leave pics w/ me and my daughter out.
neveragain34 Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I have used OLD sites and find it odd when I see a man's children in his profile pics because of the wackos out there you mentioned. Save the kid pictures for later or your PRIVATE Facebook profile. On another note, It also peeves me when a guy posts a picture of him and another girl. Seriously?? Sure, maybe it's his sister or best friend, but it still leaves you to think it could be an ex and he's clearly not over her! Don't do this either. 1
Author TheBladeRunner Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 I have used OLD sites and find it odd when I see a man's children in his profile pics because of the wackos out there you mentioned. Save the kid pictures for later or your PRIVATE Facebook profile. On another note, It also peeves me when a guy posts a picture of him and another girl. Seriously?? Sure, maybe it's his sister or best friend, but it still leaves you to think it could be an ex and he's clearly not over her! Don't do this either. Agreed! I love my kid and I know "the right one" will like her too, she can see pictures later. I don't even have my daughter on Facebook, I was just curious to see what others thought of this because I see a ton of woman with their pics w/ kids. Speaking of peeves........I hate the pics where the woman have ALL picks of them with their friends, who is who? What really kills me is when the pics posted are anything but current....or accurate. I don't mind a few extra pounds, I have a few myself. But don't post 10 year old picks showing maybe 20 extra pounds and show up to meet me looking like Jabba the Hut:D. It's happened.
happykat Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Yes I think it's really weird.. I would never even think of including my kids on my OLD profile. I don't even mention them at all (other than the fact yes I do have kids).. I also think it's kind of weird when people specify in their profile (especially women because I think women need to more careful about meeting creeps) stuff like "I have have two beautiful teenage daughters".. I don't know, it just seems really unnecessary and sort of careless. 1
Author TheBladeRunner Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 Yes I think it's really weird.. I would never even think of including my kids on my OLD profile. I don't even mention them at all (other than the fact yes I do have kids).. I also think it's kind of weird when people specify in their profile (especially women because I think women need to more careful about meeting creeps) stuff like "I have have two beautiful teenage daughters".. I don't know, it just seems really unnecessary and sort of careless. Thanks HK, I appreciate your comments. I have kept my kid comments to what is specified in the profile stats and I have made a comment that I have her 50% of the time, that's it. I actually felt dumb asking the question, but after seeing so many profiles with people and their kids I had to ask what you guys thought.
soccerrprp Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Obviously you mention the kids in your profile, but no need to put pics of them up. 1
grkBoy Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Hello LS'ers, just looking for an opinion here. I notice some people are putting pics of them and their kids in their profiles, what are your thoughts on this. I am tempted because my kid is great and very cute, but I don't think I will as there are so many wack-a-doodles on the internet. I am curious to see what you guys think regarding why it would be OK or why it wouldn't. Like I said, I think I will leave pics w/ me and my daughter out. I would answer "yes" to the "do you have kids?" question...but keep your pics all about you. I know when I did OLD, a pic of even a very hot mom and her kid only made me uneasy. Call me shallow, but I was mainly interested in dating a woman, not seeking an instant family. Now I know most single parents aren't looking for an instant family, but a pic with your kid in a dating site still screams that to one's insecurities. This is about marketing, and you want ROI. So make it all about you. Say you have a kid, but don't spend your profile proclaiming how your kid(s) are the most important thing to you and they are your life, etc. I know for the childless person out there seeking love, this more screams "I'll be constantly competing for his/her attention". 1
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I have dated guys who have had pics of their kid but not as their main pic, I have also dated guys who you wouldn't know they had a kid until they mentioned it. It just depends on what you feel. 1
FitChick Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Pedophiles target single and divorced women with kids. 2
sillyanswer Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Hello LS'ers, just looking for an opinion here. I notice some people are putting pics of them and their kids in their profiles, what are your thoughts on this. I am tempted because my kid is great and very cute, but I don't think I will as there are so many wack-a-doodles on the internet. I think that "because your kid is cute" is a poor reason to use to justify putting a pic of your kid in your OLD profile. It's the adult I want to date, not the cute kid!
dasein Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Would say depends on how many pics you have overall. If just one or two, stick to headshot and body shot of just you. If several more, don't see any harm in putting one with your daughter. I don't agree that it presents some kind of risk to your child by including a pic with her in it.
Author TheBladeRunner Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 I would answer "yes" to the "do you have kids?" question...but keep your pics all about you. I know when I did OLD, a pic of even a very hot mom and her kid only made me uneasy. Call me shallow, but I was mainly interested in dating a woman, not seeking an instant family. Now I know most single parents aren't looking for an instant family, but a pic with your kid in a dating site still screams that to one's insecurities. This is about marketing, and you want ROI. So make it all about you. Say you have a kid, but don't spend your profile proclaiming how your kid(s) are the most important thing to you and they are your life, etc. I know for the childless person out there seeking love, this more screams "I'll be constantly competing for his/her attention". I agree GRK, whenever I see "my kids come first" it kind of bothers me. Not that I do not agree, because my child is important too, but I feel they should know that already and not have to be told. I am not interested in instant family either, to be honest, it will be awhile before anyone meets my child. She is young and doesn't need her dad dragging date after date in front of her. Thanks to ALL for the great responses, keep em' coming as I am "gearing up" to start dating again
irc333 Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Hello LS'ers, just looking for an opinion here. I notice some people are putting pics of them and their kids in their profiles, what are your thoughts on this. I am tempted because my kid is great and very cute, but I don't think I will as there are so many wack-a-doodles on the internet. I am curious to see what you guys think regarding why it would be OK or why it wouldn't. Like I said, I think I will leave pics w/ me and my daughter out. I don't mind one or 2, but if there is an entire series of pictures and every single one of them is with her and her kid...esp. being all lovey dovey in the pictures....that'd be off putting 1
phineas Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 My most recent pic is of me at a formal function looking quite dapper. with my kids. I thought about blotting their faces out for like half a second before I decided the bathroom mirror pic would still be better. after all, it is a classic. 1
outsidethebox Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I don't think there are any women that are going to take the advice here. I don't know about profiles under 40, (have only looked at some OKC profiles last couple of months), but most emphasize how important their children are to them, many have a picture with children (although they're not young), profiles are full of things to weed guys out, the last thing they are worried about is whether any guy doesn't like it. Just my opinion on reading a bunch of profiles. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Call me overprotective but If I had kids I more than likely wouldn't be putting their faces on and OLD site...unless it was some date others with kids OLD site or some shet, but even then I don't see how it's necessary...but I'm not a parent either. 2
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Maybe I'm just ignorant, but how does putting a pic of your kid on an OLD profile increase their exposure to wackos? As opposed to, you know, taking them out in public. I mean, think about it for just a second. 1
ja123 Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Maybe I'm just ignorant, but how does putting a pic of your kid on an OLD profile increase their exposure to wackos? As opposed to, you know, taking them out in public. I mean, think about it for just a second. Point taken; however, it is about unnecessarily subjecting them to the anonymous hidden behind a computer screen. If I had kids, I wouldn't post their pictures on an OLD site. 1
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) Point taken; however, it is about unnecessarily subjecting them to the anonymous hidden behind a computer screen. If I had kids, I wouldn't post their pictures on an OLD site. What difference does it make? I have 3 kids, and live right in the middle of a metro area of 10,000,000 people. Every time I take my kids to the park, I'm exposing them to wackos. The difference is, they're not behind a computer screen 6 states over....they're sitting on a bench 100' away. In other words, its not a big deal. I mean, you're not making a profile OF your child complete with a home address and location of their school. It's an equally anonymous picture. Edited March 24, 2013 by Barnacle-Bob 1
dasein Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Agree, think we have gone way overboard with stranger danger concerns today. If they are ever allowed out of the house, a completely anonymous pic on a dating profile isn't a big deal. 1
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) I would never put a picture of my child on an anonymous online dating profile, because I would never want to expose them to that kind of risk. But I will happily drop them off at the Happy Elephant Daycare everyday to be taken care of by some half-tard drop-out former junkie who has hepetitis and is hung-over and just going to sit there all day chatting on MySpace with her scumbag boyfriend who just got out of the clink while my toddler is sitting there choking on a f*cking Lincoln Log. After all, part of being a good parent is keeping your kids safe. Edited March 24, 2013 by Barnacle-Bob 3
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 It's not about just exposing them to wackos, it's about what is even necessary and responsible, what is the purpose? Are you not on an OLD site to find a significant other? isn't this about you and not your children? romantically speaking. So why take the risk of exposing your child to another possible....however small or minute risk, exposing them to someone who may take a liking to your child...do you know if it's a man or woman viewing your profile? If you go to a park, it's not about 10 million people seeing them all at once and exposing them...it's the fact that you there are many other parents and if there is said "wacko" he's got to go out of his way to expose himself and at least is taking a risk. And at least the individual has to be physically present. Online and through a computer, it could be anyone from anywhere, and not to mention hackers can discreetly go about their business completely undetected, people who are techies and know their way around the internet...finding your FB account, getting into your FB account, tracking down or finding school photos...online is an unnecessary risk and people underestimate the exposure there is on it. It doesn't necessarily mean you will be targeted or preyed upon, but most of the shady business that goes on through net stays behind the scenes and is not quite exposed to the public eye yet. Not to mention your pictures can be stolen and used for other purposes. But that's your decision as a parent....personally, It's just an unnecessary risk...at the least I would trade those pics privately with someone I had been speaking with. If someone really wanted to find your true identity and that of your children online, there's people that could. 1
grkBoy Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I don't mind one or 2, but if there is an entire series of pictures and every single one of them is with her and her kid...esp. being all lovey dovey in the pictures....that'd be off putting I do get a kick out of "the works" profiles you've come across: Photos are a mix of her in bikinis/lingerie/skimpy outfits, and ones with her kids and/or pets.She's got one of more kids, but has never been married.Half of her "about me" is telling us how her kids are her life, the most important thing to her. The other half is an angry tirade of how she's sick of liars and playas.Her "what I'm looking for" section then tells of how physical attraction is a must, chemistry is a must, and how she likes tall, athletic guys who can "keep up with her" and have careers/ambitions/stability...despite her showing she has none of that. Now before someone goes on the attack, one or two of those things alone isn't a red flag...but when you see profiles where ALL those are in it, run for the hills. I'm sure you women have come across similar profiles of men. 1
dasein Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Well, I think it's much more topical to the OLD profile than pet or friend pictures, and many people include those, so there's a legit reason to do it. If the pic is cute, it could raise interest, and I'm all for men doing anything in that regard facing a stacked OLD deck. The difference between an OLD profile and being out in public is that OLD any possible threats don't get to see behavior, addresses, patterns, facts or habits that could be used for wrongful intent. It's just a pic on the internet with no grounding other data unless the dater is foolish enough to put things like home phone numbers or addresses in their OLD profile, which most sites prohibit. To each his own in this, I don't have kids so readily understand I lack a certain kind of perspective on this issue that parents may have. 1
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Ninjapajamas- having kids, as I do, is nothing but risk and risk exposure. All day, every day, everywhere you go, everything you do. Just walking down the sidewalk in the city with them....do you know how quickly a 2 year old can dash out into the street? I do. That's real and actual risk. There are real hazards and exposures everywhere when you have kids. At that point, things become all about risk management. You see putting a child's pic on an OLD profile as 'unnecessary' risk, but a lot of the risks we expose our kids to are unnecessary. At that point, it becomes something where you can either sit around worrying about every single possible bad outcome, or you can just accept that life is a dangerous and unmanageable mess and you just try to keep your kids as safe as possible while still being willing to live a normal life. It's a balancing act, and emphasis is placed on protection based on probability and likely outcomes. When I look at the overall risk of having a pic of one of my kids on an OLD profile, I REALLY have to start using my imagination to construct scenarios where my kids could be harmed....whereas a bus can come zipping by and flatten my kid in 2 seconds. I've only done OLD a couple times for a brief period. I had one pic of me and my daughter when she was maybe 18 mos old. Why? Well, yes the OLD profile is about me, and a lot of who I am is being a father. So, its relevant. 1
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