NYC-BigKat Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 This question is for the guys: How old are you? For a LTR, what is the lowest age you are willing to consider? Is the limit set in stone or would you lower it if there was a woman in particular that you developed feelings for? I'm 24 & age dont really matter to me but I'm okay with 19-20 youngest & 28-30 for oldest right now u know.
Author xdahliax Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 Here's a question... Do you have any male friends? Or do all of your associations with men end up becoming sexual? I have plenty of male friends. This is the first time that I find myself in a situation where I think the person has feelings for me that they are not expressing. Normally, the opposite is true: there have been many times where male friends have developed feelings for me and I was completely oblivious until they told me.
phineas Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I'm not a dude but I've run into a lot of guys while OLD in their late 20's and early thirties who think there's no difference between 18 year olds and 25 year old women and who preferentially look for much much younger women. They are usually asses who like their women insecure and subordinate. Needless to say they find me a tad challenging Take a look at a woman's profile if she's attractive on OLD and around 40. The usually put their age & 7 yrs younger for what they are looking for. I can't tell you anything about them since they ignored me. Probably because I was a yr older than them, or short, or not rich enough. LOL! On the other hand I see a lot of women in their early to mid 30's who seem to be looking for men older than them & not looking for a suger daddy or a new daddy for their kids. I'm going to start hitting them up even though I had never really looked in that age range. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 IMO all people should consider any legitimate options that come their way on a case-by-case basis. The continuing stereotyping here on LS of those who do age gap relationships, only in cases where the man is older, not the female older, is obnoxious IMO. Age matters for external reasons, having children, sometimes sex life, etc. only, and not internal reasons of general dating or relationship happiness. People who generalize others they don't know individually due to age alone are bigots. Well, if she wants kids, picking an older man isn't really the best thing to do anyway. But that's not really what she is asking about. I find it obnoxious with how many statements come from older men on this board that put down women their own age or older but talk about the virtues of dating younger women. I actually think that you will find that men can be bigger "bigots" toward ageism then women actually are. Women simply looking out for other women to avoid men who might only value them for their age isn't "bigoatry" anyway. It's not uncommon for younger women to have experiences with older men that teach us some ugly truths about certain men. Especially older men that specifically go for younger women or think that younger women are better. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Yes, he is definitely single. He treats other women differently from the way he treats me, he goes out of his way to speak to me and sets time aside to do so even if he's busy whereas he doesn't do that for others. When we go out, we normally have pretty personal conversations about our families, personal problems, our goals in life, etc. but we also kid around a lot. He didn't give me a reason for why we could only be friends, I didn't ask then because our conversation was cut short by an interruption and I never brought it up again. I feel like it's too late now and to bring it back up would sound desperate. I know he is just a friend but does he ever pick up the tab when you two go out? Just curious. I'm not saying he should. I do believe you just need to take him at his word at this point. It's something that is sometimes hard for us women to do. It's really hard to say what is going on though. I wouldn't pursue him romantically right now. But next time you go out, try a little experiment. Ask him for advice about men and dating. Put yourself in hypothetical situations with other men to ask for his advice and see how he reacts. But I wouldn't directly pursue him. If he wants to remain friends, that's where his head is at then. 1
Author xdahliax Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 I know he is just a friend but does he ever pick up the tab when you two go out? Just curious. I'm not saying he should. I do believe you just need to take him at his word at this point. It's something that is sometimes hard for us women to do. It's really hard to say what is going on though. I wouldn't pursue him romantically right now. But next time you go out, try a little experiment. Ask him for advice about men and dating. Put yourself in hypothetical situations with other men to ask for his advice and see how he reacts. But I wouldn't directly pursue him. If he wants to remain friends, that's where his head is at then. Thank you for your input. I will try that little experiment, but I haven't really put much effort into pursuing him either way. Some days it just perplexes me more than others. And yes, he will always pay when we go out, even if it's several times per week. 1
RedRobin Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 The above post is a perfect example of the bigotry I'm describing. Having an opinion about age gap dating one way or the other is fine. Extending that to characterizing people one doesn't know without any substance, without even anecdotal evidence, based merely on age and gender is bigotry, the very definition of it. Don't buy into bigotry, regardless of source and target. Yea, yea... You're just another guy getting fat and happy on the status quo and you don't want to see it change. You especially don't want your preferred targets tuned into your game. Whatever... When you have a LTR with a women 10 or 20 years older than you to prove how open-minded you are, then you come back and start preaching.... otherwise I'm not really taking you seriously.
dasein Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I actually think that you will find that men can be bigger "bigots" toward ageism then women actually are. Not on this board. I don't recall anyone telling men to avoid dating older women because of some ego issues older women are supposed to have, don't value the younger men as a person or don't have the younger man's best interests at heart as a matter of their age alone. Regardless of someone's personal experiences, which are certainly fair game to post, those are hogwash statements to make and -aren't- made about older women here on LS, despite your wanting to concoct that they are.
dasein Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Yea, yea... You're just another bigot... that's you, that's what you post to this thread. Bigotry.
TheBigQuestion Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 ::facepalm:: Not this thread again. If you want to date a younger woman or an older man (or the opposite), go for it, and don't worry about what bitter, judgmental idiots have to say about it. It's really that simple. 1
RedRobin Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) Not on this board. I don't recall anyone telling men to avoid dating older women because of some ego issues older women are supposed to have, don't value the younger men as a person or don't have the younger man's best interests at heart as a matter of their age alone. Regardless of someone's personal experiences, which are certainly fair game to post, those are hogwash statements to make and -aren't- made about older women here on LS, despite your wanting to concoct that they are. baloney... its all over the place. Including the retarded threads that may or may not be real made up by people pushing the older man/younger woman agenda adnauseum. But hey... gotta keep the guys happy and feeling good about their prospects in life *shrug* Guess it has to be on SOMEONES back. Edited March 24, 2013 by RedRobin
Author xdahliax Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 ::facepalm:: Not this thread again. If you want to date a younger woman or an older man (or the opposite), go for it, and don't worry about what bitter, judgmental idiots have to say about it. It's really that simple. That is not what this thread is about. I couldn't care less what people think. 2
TheBigQuestion Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 That is not what this thread is about. I couldn't care less what people think. I know it isn't. But the above-mentioned idiots have hijacked this thread to further their own agenda, and their advice to you will be (and has been) delivered accordingly. It's good that you don't care what they or anyone else thinks though. Their anti-older man advice presupposes that you aren't mature enough to make your own decisions about who you choose to date, despite not knowing much about you or any guy you know.
dasein Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 baloney... its all over the place. Including the retarded threads that may or may not be real made up by people pushing the older man/younger woman agenda adnauseum. Listen to yourself, you actually believe posters would create threads to forward some older man/younger woman agenda? Why on earth would someone do that? It's a fact, lots of women do seek older men and vice versa, no need to form some kind of secret squirrel conspiracy to support it, 10,000 years of human history proves it true. Anyway, had my say on some of the bigoted statements posted in this thread, and won't derail further.
Sanitarium Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 baloney... its all over the place. Including the retarded threads that may or may not be real made up by people pushing the older man/younger woman agenda adnauseum. But hey... gotta keep the guys happy and feeling good about their prospects in life *shrug* Guess it has to be on SOMEONES back. There is definitely a huge double standard. None of you gals here ever have a problem with a younger guy dating an older woman
outsidethebox Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 OP, I would think there's a bigger issue of the guy being concerned about what others would think at work if he dated you since you're so young. Hot and cold is probably a good way to put it. He's probably hot for you but has to ice the feelings. The answer is based on mid thirties and early twenties, male or female coworkers. 2
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Thank you for your input. I will try that little experiment, but I haven't really put much effort into pursuing him either way. Some days it just perplexes me more than others. And yes, he will always pay when we go out, even if it's several times per week. I can see why his behavior is confusing to you. It would be to me as well. Him picking up the tab DOES make it seem like he is interested in you a little more than friends. Regardless of that, obviously right now he's not wanting to make it romantic. Maybe it's something that will come in the future. When I was in my early 20s, there was an older man who flirted with me but didn't actually date me until I was a little older. And he had told me he wanted to wait until I was a little older. In the meantime, live your life, continue the type of friendly relationship you have with him now and date other men when those chances come up.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 ::facepalm:: Not this thread again. If you want to date a younger woman or an older man (or the opposite), go for it, and don't worry about what bitter, judgmental idiots have to say about it. It's really that simple. You didn't really read her thread.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Male 29 LTR Age Range: 26-30 Your age range isn't bad or anything but I don't understand men who will date years younger than themselves but only one year old than themself. Especially by the time your 30, is there really that big a difference between you and someone who is 34? You're going to have more differences between you and someone who is 26.
TouchedByViolet Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I'm 25 and there isn't a number set in stone for me. Generally speaking 21-29 seems like a good spread. Her intelligence, personality, maturity, looks and attitude are more important than the raw age number.
Emilia Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Take a look at a woman's profile if she's attractive on OLD and around 40. The usually put their age & 7 yrs younger for what they are looking for. This is because we are horny and we want them young
Lonely Ronin Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 OP, How old are you, and how old is he, or how big is the age gap between you two? From what you have posted, it almost sounds like you have a father/daughter, older brother, mentor/apprentice thing going on. back to the question, i'm in my early 30's and the woman I'm currently dating is 6 years younger than me I think. I say I think, because I'm not sure how old she is exactly.
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