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What does this behavior mean? Has any women/gf/wife dealt with anything like this?

sunshine001

By sunshine001
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sunshine001 Member

sunshine001

Posted
Posted

My boyfriend with whom I have a complicated relationship at the moment has hung up on me almost 7 to 9 times so far. I find it so childish. He is 35 and I am 29 for once thought he will act mature! Have mentioned this to him in the past without nagging or anything at all. What's surprising is that he has done this repeatedly without us even fighting or arguing. It is just a normal conversation.

 

Last week went at a restaurant for dinner and were having a good time and conversation. I was myself, happy and cheerful and all of a sudden he got sad. Asked him what happened he says 'nothing I am just tired'. I noticed the more cheerful and myself I was the more sad he kept getting hence it was hard to believe the reason for his sadness was being tired since he was quite happy and cheerful just 15 mins prior to that. Also I wouldn't want to do the guessing game work. This is what have disliked in our relationship and have felt that the more happy and myself I was or am the more sad or upset he has gotten/gets. Find it to be a ridiculous now that I think back! After dinner he said we will talk on the phone later in the night which we did. Suddenly during our 5 minute conversation he says 'Have a goodnight' and hangs up on my face. Totally out of the blue! I call him the next day and tell him how rude it was and that I don't appreciate it and would like him to stop and apologize for doing it. He says 'Not right now. Let's meet for a movie on Saturday'. Saturday which is today. Haven't spoken to him for a week and no longer wish to. Seriously tired of these games or maybe he is just a quiet geeky programmer that I don't understand not sure. Thought someone might know what this means.

 

Now suddenly this morning he sends me an email saying this:

 

"I wanted to know if you are still ok for having diner and watching movie tonight.

For some reason, I cannot reach you on the phone.

 

Also I have 2 mails for you.

 

See you soon"

 

I don't understand how this man does not realize that I am upset for what he did and no longer putting up with it. Does your man do that? Or has done that? What does this behavior indicate? I have never dealt with anything like this. Not going to respond to his email or even talk or contact him anymore. Would like to know what this behavior means as it is quite confusing and complicated have never dealt with anything like this ever.

Tres Established Member

Tres

Posted
Posted
My boyfriend with whom I have a complicated relationship at the moment has hung up on me almost 7 to 9 times so far. I find it so childish. He is 35 and I am 29 for once thought he will act mature! Have mentioned this to him in the past without nagging or anything at all. What's surprising is that he has done this repeatedly without us even fighting or arguing. It is just a normal conversation.

 

Last week went at a restaurant for dinner and were having a good time and conversation. I was myself, happy and cheerful and all of a sudden he got sad. Asked him what happened he says 'nothing I am just tired'. I noticed the more cheerful and myself I was the more sad he kept getting hence it was hard to believe the reason for his sadness was being tired since he was quite happy and cheerful just 15 mins prior to that. Also I wouldn't want to do the guessing game work. This is what have disliked in our relationship and have felt that the more happy and myself I was or am the more sad or upset he has gotten/gets. Find it to be a ridiculous now that I think back! After dinner he said we will talk on the phone later in the night which we did. Suddenly during our 5 minute conversation he says 'Have a goodnight' and hangs up on my face. Totally out of the blue! I call him the next day and tell him how rude it was and that I don't appreciate it and would like him to stop and apologize for doing it. He says 'Not right now. Let's meet for a movie on Saturday'. Saturday which is today. Haven't spoken to him for a week and no longer wish to. Seriously tired of these games or maybe he is just a quiet geeky programmer that I don't understand not sure. Thought someone might know what this means.

 

Now suddenly this morning he sends me an email saying this:

 

"I wanted to know if you are still ok for having diner and watching movie tonight.

For some reason, I cannot reach you on the phone.

 

Also I have 2 mails for you.

 

See you soon"

 

I don't understand how this man does not realize that I am upset for what he did and no longer putting up with it. Does your man do that? Or has done that? What does this behavior indicate? I have never dealt with anything like this. Not going to respond to his email or even talk or contact him anymore. Would like to know what this behavior means as it is quite confusing and complicated have never dealt with anything like this ever.

 

He might want you to pay for dinner.

  • Author
sunshine001 Member

sunshine001

Posted
  • Author
Posted
He might want you to pay for dinner.

 

No not really. That was not the problem at all. How and why did you come up with that? I seriously would like to know what this behavior means. It is what I have typed and nothing beyond that. No drama no games nothing. Just a normal dinner and normal night.

Estate Established Member

Estate

Posted
Posted
My boyfriend with whom I have a complicated relationship at the moment has hung up on me almost 7 to 9 times so far. I find it so childish. He is 35 and I am 29 for once thought he will act mature! Have mentioned this to him in the past without nagging or anything at all. What's surprising is that he has done this repeatedly without us even fighting or arguing. It is just a normal conversation.

 

Last week went at a restaurant for dinner and were having a good time and conversation. I was myself, happy and cheerful and all of a sudden he got sad. Asked him what happened he says 'nothing I am just tired'. I noticed the more cheerful and myself I was the more sad he kept getting hence it was hard to believe the reason for his sadness was being tired since he was quite happy and cheerful just 15 mins prior to that. Also I wouldn't want to do the guessing game work. This is what have disliked in our relationship and have felt that the more happy and myself I was or am the more sad or upset he has gotten/gets. Find it to be a ridiculous now that I think back! After dinner he said we will talk on the phone later in the night which we did. Suddenly during our 5 minute conversation he says 'Have a goodnight' and hangs up on my face. Totally out of the blue! I call him the next day and tell him how rude it was and that I don't appreciate it and would like him to stop and apologize for doing it. He says 'Not right now. Let's meet for a movie on Saturday'. Saturday which is today. Haven't spoken to him for a week and no longer wish to. Seriously tired of these games or maybe he is just a quiet geeky programmer that I don't understand not sure. Thought someone might know what this means.

 

Now suddenly this morning he sends me an email saying this:

 

"I wanted to know if you are still ok for having diner and watching movie tonight.

For some reason, I cannot reach you on the phone.

 

Also I have 2 mails for you.

 

See you soon"

 

I don't understand how this man does not realize that I am upset for what he did and no longer putting up with it. Does your man do that? Or has done that? What does this behavior indicate? I have never dealt with anything like this. Not going to respond to his email or even talk or contact him anymore. Would like to know what this behavior means as it is quite confusing and complicated have never dealt with anything like this ever.

 

Why don't you just break up with him and move on?

You sound like a right pair...

 

You started drama when there was none. He has acted obvious to how lucky he probably is to have a girlfriend in the first place.

 

Why do people insist on being in bad relationships?

neveragain34 Established Member

neveragain34

Posted
Posted

Sounds like he's crazy and/or has someone else. He knows he was wrong to not call you all week so he sent the email and pretended he couldn't reach you to cover his a**. He's a weirdo. Dump him and move on!

lovelyde Established Member

lovelyde

Posted
Posted

Hi sunshine001,

 

There's a woman he truly loves- who is deeply ingrained in him and unfortunately it's not you. No amount of brainwashing will change his mind because it's fate.

 

Is there anyone in life you truly admire and secretly wish you were with? Outside of economic, competitive, financial, physical sex dependency matters- If you had a billion dollars today, he would not truly be happy either, you would still not be happy because he wants another woman who's not you. However, pretend that the billion dollars frees you from economic stresses, who would you be with regardless of anything?

 

You need to be with that person, and not with the man who's soulmate is bothering him to get away from you who is not the right match emotionally for him.

 

Forget about him. He's not right for you.

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sunshine001 Member

sunshine001

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Hi sunshine001,

 

There's a woman he truly loves- who is deeply ingrained in him and unfortunately it's not you. No amount of brainwashing will change his mind because it's fate.

 

Is there anyone in life you truly admire and secretly wish you were with? Outside of economic, competitive, financial, physical sex dependency matters- If you had a billion dollars today, he would not truly be happy either, you would still not be happy because he wants another woman who's not you. However, pretend that the billion dollars frees you from economic stresses, who would you be with regardless of anything?

 

You need to be with that person, and not with the man who's soulmate is bothering him to get away from you who is not the right match emotionally for him.

 

Forget about him. He's not right for you.

 

I don't think that's the case.. Although I understand your point. What you are trying to say is 'move on'. Which is what I am doing. He has told me numerous times how he still loves me and it is not over for him and blah blah and then says we are broken up. These are too many games for me. Which is really hard and complicated. I'd rather be with someone simple, who respects me and treats me well. I am already on the path to move on. This is too psychotic. Hopefully, not all men out there are like that. That is how it seems. And the only reason I am wanting to understand this behavior is because what if all men are like that and I don't know lol! Hope not! It's been almost 1 year of drilling and grilling in this complicated environment and finally it is over (at least from my side)

Barnacle-Bob Established Member

Barnacle-Bob

Posted
Posted
Hi sunshine001,

 

There's a woman he truly loves- who is deeply ingrained in him and unfortunately it's not you. No amount of brainwashing will change his mind because it's fate.

 

Is there anyone in life you truly admire and secretly wish you were with? Outside of economic, competitive, financial, physical sex dependency matters- If you had a billion dollars today, he would not truly be happy either, you would still not be happy because he wants another woman who's not you. However, pretend that the billion dollars frees you from economic stresses, who would you be with regardless of anything?

 

You need to be with that person, and not with the man who's soulmate is bothering him to get away from you who is not the right match emotionally for him.

 

Forget about him. He's not right for you.

 

Spot on. There is nothing this girl can do. Unfortunately, she stepped in front of a train.

lovelyde Established Member

lovelyde

Posted
Posted

Thank you for your honest reply sunshine001! :)

 

Well, the reason why most men don't stick around is because you only have one soulmate in life. He may already be visiting you in the spiritual dimension. Our physical reality and spiritual reality are visually different.

 

Seriously, if you have even the slightest gist that a man is inspired by you and he's driven to make you happy.. that's a big sign that the man loves you unconditionally and deeply. Who do you love and admire unconditionally without holding back? It could be him. ;)

Estate Established Member

Estate

Posted
Posted
Thank you for your honest reply sunshine001! :)

 

Well, the reason why most men don't stick around is because you only have one soulmate in life. He may already be visiting you in the spiritual dimension. Our physical reality and spiritual reality are visually different.

 

Seriously, if you have even the slightest gist that a man is inspired by you and he's driven to make you happy.. that's a big sign that the man loves you unconditionally and deeply. Who do you love and admire unconditionally without holding back? It could be him. ;)

 

One soulmate? Spiritual dimensions? Eh, what?????

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