broken-hearted Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 (edited) I won't go into great detail about our relationship, but we were together 3 years, she has 2 children from a previous relationship, which I came to think of as my own. I'm just wondering, even though she broke things off and it ended quite badly. Does the fact I have a strong bond with her children play any part in the chances of a reconciliation? I still love her more than anything and I love those 2 children more than I can imagine. I know she is hurt and angry right now, but will my bond with her children play any part in her thought process? I'm just looking for a silver lining to give me some hope that we may get back together some day. Many thanks. Edited March 23, 2013 by broken-hearted
Author broken-hearted Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 She probably hardly cares about your relationship with her kids That's a bit harsh. We have nearly split before and it's been a major factor in us staying together. The youngest does think of me as his Dad, so I think it will be really difficult for her to deal with what he's going through. I know they're not my kids, but I love them with all my heart and she knows that.
Limbo21 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Hello bro, I'm sorry your feelin' rough. Yes that comment was out of order. To be honest without knowing your story in more depth its impossible to say. If she has introduced them to other ex's then I would say their feelings will make little difference. If your the first then maybe?
Author broken-hearted Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 No worries. I have been a part of their lives for 3 years, her youngest was 4 when I first met her and I have been a major part in his life. He sees me as his Daddy and this is the hardest thing I am trying to deal with. I feel guilty for the way I treated my ex and guilty that he has lost his "Daddy". She has had previous relationships, but no one has ever bonded with the children in the same way I have. I guess I'm just clinging onto any chance of getting her back that I can at the moment.
Author broken-hearted Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I'm sorry but I think I will have to stop the conversation there, she isn't running with all types of men, she is a very faithful and loving person, her first relationship was abusive (the father of the children) and she has been trying to find a loving partner since. I was only the 3rd person she dated after that. Is there a female perspective on this?
Author broken-hearted Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 if she is so loving then why did she leave you? Because although I'm 37 I acted very emotionally immature, although I loved her with all my heart I couldn't express it in a way she understood. She just wanted to feel loved and I made her feel the opposite because of how closed off I am.
Author broken-hearted Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I always promised her I would open up more and get some counselling and I never did. I have my first session booked tomorrow. This has affected me so deeply that I am going to make the changes necessary for me to mature as an adult and become more emotionally available. I just hope that I get the chance to be with her again and show her the difference.
Author broken-hearted Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I don't blame myself completely, we were both at fault. I'm sure she will take this time to deal with her own issues as well.
Limbo21 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 How long has it been since she ended the relationship? Has she tried to contact you in the past? Have you broken up before? Has she expressed what is the problem? Have you guys talked? I can't offer any advice unless I know some of those answers To be honest your situation sounds a little similar to mine. Well, the emotionally immature part ... And the two kids
Author broken-hearted Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 (edited) How long has it been since she ended the relationship? Just over a week. Has she tried to contact you in the past? Only to scorn me for writing a letter that I shouldn't have. It went into some very personal issues about my previous ex being raped to let her know that it wasn't her that was the problem, it was my issues from the past. Also in order to improve myself I got a new job doing something I will enjoy, but her friend works there so she thought I had done it so I could get back in with her through the friend. Have you broken up before? We have broken up 3 times, but never properly. Probably only a week apart and the kids were kept out of it. Has she expressed what is the problem? Have you guys talked? I became very reliant on her, my self employed job was not bringing in enough money and forced her to get a job she hated. I was very distant towards her and made her feel alone. We talked about our problems when I went to get my stuff last week, but I was still begging and pleading and telling her I would miss her. We haven't talked about the issues since. Edited March 26, 2013 by broken-hearted
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