spirius Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Okay, I'm resigned that it is over and that it probably SHOULD be over. I tried removing her from FB the other day so I would not be able to see anything but her privacy settings mean I can see everything. What do you lot do in this situation? Do you keep her as a friend and just exercise some self control by not looking? Do you remove Facebook? What? Also thinking of removing all her friends too, because they keep being all "ahahaha I love you so much for this and that" which is driving me nuts. I mentioned on another thread that we do the same hobby and thus will be at the same fairly small events five or six weekends a year...so I don't want to anger her. As far as everyone is aware, it is a mutual split and I don't really want to let everyone know the details by telling them why I'm removing them etc. She has NOT told them. She is very closed mouthed about her personal life.
TaraMaiden Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Delete your account. You'd be amazed at how liberating it is. And please don't say it's vital to your life. It isn't, never was and never will be. Seriously..... 4
Author spirius Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 (edited) I think it would actually be quite liberating! Oh! Dare I? ~rubs hands together Edited March 23, 2013 by spirius add
Lillygoose Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Don't delete it, just de-activate yourself. You will feel tons better, I haven't had it for about 2 months. AND ITS GREAT. Admittedly, it is a little harder to contact people. but you wont have the urge to check up on the OP.
Cogee Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Remove her friends, set your privacy settings so none of those friends can see your stuff (i.e. don't share things with friends of friends), and block her. That's if you are like me and it IS vital to your life.
thefooloftheyear Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Delete your account. You'd be amazed at how liberating it is. And please don't say it's vital to your life. It isn't, never was and never will be. Seriously..... Yeah,,,,what she said...^^^^ DUMP THAT ACCOUNT! TFOY
headsashed Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 If you want to keep facebook but rid of your ex then do the following,goto your privacy settings,blocking, then block your ex's name. You will not be able to see her profile anymore or any posts/ comments she makes on mutual friends posts etc,that simple and its very effective. hope this helps.
NewPerspective93 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 (edited) FB is a poison. Just delete them as friends. I feel that FB can have the potential to ruin friendships and relationships because of how open it can be. Also, it can cause one to open Pandora's Box, because of false hope one might see on FB, over analyzing posts or things made by the other person. I am guilty of this since I've experienced this myself. I deleted an ex of mine and the friend she was in a relationship with. I was always looking at their FB. I'll tell you, I felt so much better knowing I couldn't look at their profiles. Do this for your well being. You are worth it, and deserve it. Edited March 23, 2013 by NewPerspective93 1
ToyStoryThree Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Okay, I'm resigned that it is over and that it probably SHOULD be over. I tried removing her from FB the other day so I would not be able to see anything but her privacy settings mean I can see everything. What do you lot do in this situation? Do you keep her as a friend and just exercise some self control by not looking? Do you remove Facebook? What? Also thinking of removing all her friends too, because they keep being all "ahahaha I love you so much for this and that" which is driving me nuts. I mentioned on another thread that we do the same hobby and thus will be at the same fairly small events five or six weekends a year...so I don't want to anger her. As far as everyone is aware, it is a mutual split and I don't really want to let everyone know the details by telling them why I'm removing them etc. She has NOT told them. She is very closed mouthed about her personal life. Look - in these situations, self control doesn't exist. Either delete and block her and her friends, or delete your account. Those are your two choices.
Author spirius Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 I'm very much doing that...par example Tuesday: She goes to the pub while I shift her stuff to her new place. I am worried she will go to a club afterwards from which she used to return with guys (including me). Wednesday: A picture goes up of her, her best mate (who she screwed a couple of times) and a bunch of people. Pictures from the club go up. No ex and no best mate at the club. So did they go to hers? or...looking at picture one, he is only drinking coke. Work in the morning, so early night? FB helpfully announces she is watching Dr Who on Netflix at 1am. Is that post-coital Dr Who or the ordinary run of the mill, Dr Who. Aaaargh. And that was just a sodding photo! Also the guys who suddenly start liking her posts from a two weeks ago! Like flies round a turd. I could barely sleep all last week cos kept checking if she was home watching telly yet for fear she would be out with a guy. I'm exhausted. And this is without doing any digging!
Damsel in Distress Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Gosh this girl's whole life is out there on Facebook. You cannot keep exposing yourself to that! My ex has a minimal presence on facebook, but this week I saw one of those silly Facebook announcements "Games your friends are playing" and his name was listed on one game. It turned me from having a fairly confident day to a feeling like there was something squeezing the life and breath out of my heart, and I ended up breaking NC - tried to call him and of course he didn't pick up. But if ONE little thing does that to me, I can't imagine the turmoil and mental agitation of seeing all that information. Protect yourself!
thefooloftheyear Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 It's relentless But in reality, its only relentless because you are letting it be relentless.... Out of sight-Out of mind. Capisce? TFOY
iouaname Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Can you not just block her? I blocked my ex from Facebook literally the day after we broke up and haven't even had the urge to unblock him once. I deactivated mine for a few weeks after the breakup but then when I was ready to put it up, I didn't have a problem with him because I had already blocked him.
Mack05 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 (edited) If you saw an addict and he was about to take some heavy duty drugs you automatically know what that person is doing to themselves is very dangerous. Spirius in this situation you are the addict. Two simple steps. Either block her and/or deactivate your Facebook and secondly buy the book how to break your addiction to a person by Howard Halpern, as well as a book on improving self esteem. Now will you do those simple steps?Nope cause like many people on LS you don't want to help yourself. Edited March 23, 2013 by Mack05
Author spirius Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 What makes you say I don't want to help myself or that I am not taking on board what people are saying? You talked me out of contacting her earlier, didn't you? I thought the whole point of this place was to be able to work through the issues you are having. If it was easily solved the forum would not need to be here. I'm trying to weigh up the options. Blocking is only as good as my self control...I can unblock her at any time. From that perspective, just deactivating the whole show seems like a better idea.
Cogee Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 You can reactivate at any time as well. If you REALLY want to stop yourself you need to talk to a trusted friend/family and have them change your password. I have known some people to do that.
Am4Real Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Exactly, FB is the most immature medium there is. period!!!! I encourage persons talking about it to "grow up" QUOTE=TaraMaiden;4720939]Delete your account. You'd be amazed at how liberating it is. And please don't say it's vital to your life. It isn't, never was and never will be. Seriously.....
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