Parents don't accept me dating younger guys?How do i cope?

[Ninjainpajamas]

Honestly it's better that you date around your age or a bit younger than older...older guys (assuming they have half a brain) can easily take you for a ride emotionally.

 

However it still begs the question what is it exactly that you see in a 16 year old...3 years is a big difference at that age, it doesn't start evening out till at least the mid to late 20's, because women start learning the do's and don'ts with men at about that age IMO. I don't give me that "mature for your age" crap, I'm going to poke my eyes out if I see that again, so incredibly naive of women.

 

At any rate, I don't imagine what it is that you think you can do...If you want to live your own life though you'll have to move out, then nobody can say anything about your choices. As long as you share a roof under your parents house, they're always going to make an opinion because it's right there in front of their faces...if you don't want to hear their opinion and think you know it all like many 19 year old's then go ahead, give real life a shot.

 

Also you have no life experience at this stage...so you can't really state how you'd be as a parent with a teenager, after you've learned about life and been through it other than the X amount of years of your life that you'd actually been coherent enough to register it and understand it, you're going to be singing a completely different tune when you're older or at the least have a much bigger basis for making judgment then you do now...bottom line though is, you're not your parents, you'll set the rules with your own kids but hopefully that's still a ways to come, and especially a ways before you're in control of a teenager that thinks they know what they're doing...especially in terms of love/romance..ha!

[FitChick]

Perhaps she finds boys less sexually threatening.

[Yookie]

They probably don't want you to go to jail!?!! Sheesh! Your parents are right. This is irresponsible. Let the little boys grow up before you try to have a relationship with them.

 

You only THINK they're "mature" because you have no idea what maturity is yourself.

[ShellyGrahams]

Honestly it's better that you date around your age or a bit younger than older...older guys (assuming they have half a brain) can easily take you for a ride emotionally.

 

However it still begs the question what is it exactly that you see in a 16 year old...3 years is a big difference at that age, it doesn't start evening out till at least the mid to late 20's, because women start learning the do's and don'ts with men at about that age IMO. I don't give me that "mature for your age" crap, I'm going to poke my eyes out if I see that again, so incredibly naive of women.

 

At any rate, I don't imagine what it is that you think you can do...If you want to live your own life though you'll have to move out, then nobody can say anything about your choices. As long as you share a roof under your parents house, they're always going to make an opinion because it's right there in front of their faces...if you don't want to hear their opinion and think you know it all like many 19 year old's then go ahead, give real life a shot.

 

Also you have no life experience at this stage...so you can't really state how you'd be as a parent with a teenager, after you've learned about life and been through it other than the X amount of years of your life that you'd actually been coherent enough to register it and understand it, you're going to be singing a completely different tune when you're older or at the least have a much bigger basis for making judgment then you do now...bottom line though is, you're not your parents, you'll set the rules with your own kids but hopefully that's still a ways to come, and especially a ways before you're in control of a teenager that thinks they know what they're doing...especially in terms of love/romance..ha!

 

First of all,I never said I was looking for love. Secondly,I don't need anyone's approval when it comes to my "dating"life. And you don't know what I've been through in all my damn near 20 years on this earth to say I have no life experience, so don't pass judgment or make assumptions on things you don't know. Lastly, Nowhere in my original post did I claim to "know it all". Some of you LS people are really something. I didn't come on here to ask for you guys perspective on whether my predicament is wrong or right. I bet a million dollars if the tables was turned and i was a 19 year old male with the same situation, most of you guys would sing "Oh, Just don't do anything sexual with her and you'll be fine". Double Standards,I tell ya. And I see it a lot around LS, especially pertaining to situations such as this.

[ShellyGrahams]

They probably don't want you to go to jail!?!! Sheesh! Your parents are right. This is irresponsible. Let the little boys grow up before you try to have a relationship with them.

 

You only THINK they're "mature" because you have no idea what maturity is yourself.

 

 

Riddle me this, what's the big difference between a

17 year old girl nd 18 year old guy-

 

I'll give you some similarities:

-She/He can have a job

-She/He can live on their own

-She/He can drive

-She/He can go to college

-She/He can decide NOT to go to college

 

Im sorry but what is YOUR idea of Mature, Yookie...

[ltjg45]

Secondly,I don't need anyone's approval when it comes to my "dating"life.

 

If you have such a stance like this, then why did you make this thread?

 

Just go and do your own thing. Ignore your parents if you don't agree with them but if you are living under their roof, what they say goes. If you aren't and you are really over 20, then you are not under their care anymore and, therefore, their opinions mean nothing to you and your dating style.

 

However, if they don't want to see you with a 17-year old, they have the right to say that.

[Ninjainpajamas]

First of all,I never said I was looking for love. Secondly,I don't need anyone's approval when it comes to my "dating"life. And you don't know what I've been through in all my damn near 20 years on this earth to say I have no life experience, so don't pass judgment or make assumptions on things you don't know. Lastly, Nowhere in my original post did I claim to "know it all". Some of you LS people are really something. I didn't come on here to ask for you guys perspective on whether my predicament is wrong or right. I bet a million dollars if the tables was turned and i was a 19 year old male with the same situation, most of you guys would sing "Oh, Just don't do anything sexual with her and you'll be fine". Double Standards,I tell ya. And I see it a lot around LS, especially pertaining to situations such as this.

 

First let me enlighten you since you love this defensive posture on the internet.

 

1) I've been through a whole helluva lot by age 20 myself but still not how life unfolds and plays out, so much chaos that I hadn't been living with my parents for years by then.

 

2) Your attitude says more than your words...but you won't explain why you even desire to date 16 year old's, when it sounds more like your own insecurity

 

3) You live with your damn parents....wtf do you expect?....case closed right then and there if you really want the truth, so move out instead of trying to convince your parents you're not some future pedophile/child molester

 

4) Send me a check for one million dollars...you just lost it. I'm very hard on older guys younger woman scenario on the forums, and I also encourage younger guys to date older women...but sorry, that doesn't reach into the depths of 19 or 20 year old dating a 16 year old, that's just a kid and if you consider yourself any kind of an adult or person "who's been through a lot" then I'd see no reason for you to even be interested...most girls that have "been through a lot" take comfort in much older guys to replace daddy, but daddy is in your life already. But something tells me this is about security for you, younger guys are more predictable and you are in more control.

 

If you're not looking for "love" then what is it that you're looking for? piece of 12 year old boy @ss? what you want to do? make them some apple jacks and eggo's before school after a night of passionate talking and poor love making? you gonna start writing their tardy excuses and sick notes for them too? Don't forget the spiderman backpack!

[dasein]

To try to answer the thread question, I don't think this is something they are likely to change their minds on, so in your shoes would just accept it and try to maintain a good relationship with them otherwise. Time spent trying to get them to change or convince them is likely to just intensify the issue unnecessarily. One other useful question is is this a pattern with your parents? or just with respect to a particular guy? If the latter, could their stated reason of age be a cover for other things they don't like about the guy that they'd rather not make an issue with you?

[mesmerized]

Just wait a few years and then go at it. Once you're like 23, you can have all the 20 year olds you want.

[NeoGen85]

I'll just say be careful. Personally when I was 19, my idea was to not date anyone in high school.

 

A old HS friend I knew was dating a 17 year old when he was 20. His girlfriend's parents caught them having sex. I didn't found out until Myspace hinted that I had someone on my friends list who was a sex offender. lol

[ShellyGrahams]

I'll just say be careful.

Thanks. I'll take that into consideration.

 

Personally when I was 19, my idea was to not date anyone in high school.

 

--That's cool. To Each his/her own.

 

A old HS friend I knew was dating a 17 year old when he was 20. His girlfriend's parents caught them having sex. I didn't found out until Myspace hinted that I had someone on my friends list who was a sex offender. lol

 

Your failed attempt at humor makes me cringe.

[ShellyGrahams]

First let me enlighten you since you love this defensive posture on the internet.

 

1) I've been through a whole helluva lot by age 20 myself but still not how life unfolds and plays out, so much chaos that I hadn't been living with my parents for years by then.

--Well, that's your life not mine.

 

2) Your attitude says more than your words...but you won't explain why you even desire to date 16 year old's, when it sounds more like your own insecurity

--What insecurity?

 

3) You live with your damn parents....wtf do you expect?....case closed right then and there if you really want the truth, so move out instead of trying to convince your parents you're not some future pedophile/child molester

---Wow. I'm a future child molester just because i'm a Nine-TEEN year old interested in a Seven-TEEN year old guy, who' s going to be 18 in 2 weeks...

Males really do have it better.

 

4) Send me a check for one million dollars...you just lost it. I'm very hard on older guys younger woman scenario on the forums, and I also encourage younger guys to date older women...but sorry, that doesn't reach into the depths of 19 or 20 year old dating a 16 year old,

-Please send me the links to the threads of you being hard on OG/YW scenarios and accepting YG/OW.

 

that's just a kid and if you consider yourself any kind of an adult or person "who's been through a lot" then I'd see no reason for you to even be interested...

--Exactly. You don't know me so of course you see no reason. "Kid" is a subjective term. What is a "Kid"exactly?Do you watch the news? I do. According to what I read in the papers and watch on the tele, A "Kid" is capable of being a: Serial Rapist, Pedophile, Murderer, Soldier, Inventor,Drug Addict, Alcoholic, Etc..They can also live on their own,find a job, help support their family. What is a "Kid" to you? Because it seems to me that you're only focused on the immaturity aspects of said "Kid". As if immaturity magically disappears when one turns 18. I know plenty of 20-somethings in college, living on their own, has a job(s),Has Ambition, Serious about their life and still seem kind of immature at times. So what's an adult, Ninja?

 

most girls that have "been through a lot" take comfort in much older guys to replace daddy, but daddy is in your life already. But something tells me this is about security for you,

-- And here you go stating your opinion as a fact. Do you know most girls to come to that conclusion? Why not say "some"girls,instead? And just because a girl/woman like a "much"(whatever your idea of "much"pertains to) older guy, doesn't mean she has "daddy"issues.

 

younger guys are more predictable and you are in more control.

-That is your opinion. I don't think that in the least. I wouldn't feel comfortable being with someone that can't think for themselves.

 

If you're not looking for "love" then what is it that you're looking for? piece of 12 year old boy @ss? what you want to do? make them some apple jacks and eggo's before school after a night of passionate talking and poor love making? you gonna start writing their tardy excuses and sick notes for them too? Don't forget the spiderman backpack!

 

Just because I like younger guys, doesn't mean i would go for 12 year old little boys...wtf is your problem,Ninja? That's sick. So I guess a guy in his early 20's that would go for a 17 y/o girl that's a month away from 18, automatically means he likes 10-12 year old little girls according to your logic right? Btw,not that long ago it was socially acceptable for young girls as young as 12 years old to marry men that were well into their 30's.

[NeoGen85]

[/b]

 

Your failed attempt at humor makes me cringe.

 

Too bad it's a true story.

[Treasa]

Move out and get your own place, and then your parents can't say anything to you. If you want to act like an adult, you need to be responsible for yourself, like an adult.

 

Although, really, I would NOT date someone under the consensual age limit. If they're legal, and you're supporting yourself, do whatever makes you happy.

[Treasa]

First of all,I never said I was looking for love. Secondly,I don't need anyone's approval when it comes to my "dating"life. And you don't know what I've been through in all my damn near 20 years on this earth to say I have no life experience, so don't pass judgment or make assumptions on things you don't know. Lastly, Nowhere in my original post did I claim to "know it all". Some of you LS people are really something. I didn't come on here to ask for you guys perspective on whether my predicament is wrong or right. I bet a million dollars if the tables was turned and i was a 19 year old male with the same situation, most of you guys would sing "Oh, Just don't do anything sexual with her and you'll be fine". Double Standards,I tell ya. And I see it a lot around LS, especially pertaining to situations such as this.

 

1. Actually, your parents can tell you whatever they want when it comes to their house. They pay the bills, you don't. When you pay all the bills, you can do what you want. I support myself. Therefore, I can choose what happens in my house. See how that works?

 

2. Oh, don't get started on everything you've been through in your 20 years. A lot of people have been to hell and back, and then had to return a few more times. If you're a victim, go ahead and say stuff like this, but you won't get sympathy in the adult world. If your parents are still supporting you, you have it pretty good.

 

3. Actually, no, I wouldn't advocate a guy to do anything different than what I told you in my original reply.

 

You can get mad all you want, but if you post on a public message board and people are following the ToS, you sound silly telling them they can't judge you. Of course they can. Did you just want everyone here to tell you how horrible your parents are? Even if we did that, what would it change?

[stillafool]

First of all,I never said I was looking for love. Secondly,I don't need anyone's approval when it comes to my "dating"life. And you don't know what I've been through in all my damn near 20 years on this earth to say I have no life experience, so don't pass judgment or make assumptions on things you don't know. Lastly, Nowhere in my original post did I claim to "know it all". Some of you LS people are really something. I didn't come on here to ask for you guys perspective on whether my predicament is wrong or right. I bet a million dollars if the tables was turned and i was a 19 year old male with the same situation, most of you guys would sing "Oh, Just don't do anything sexual with her and you'll be fine". Double Standards,I tell ya. And I see it a lot around LS, especially pertaining to situations such as this.

 

Your posts give the impression that you are a very angry person. BTW if a 19 year old man came to LS and asked about dating a 16 year old girl in HS he would be flamed beyond repair. We are being easy on you. Don't you realize that your dating underage boys is illegal? Your parents have every right to be concerned. If these boys were of legal age there would be no problem with you dating younger.

 

What advice are you looking for?

[youaremysunshine]

Let's be real here. 19 is hardly grown up. Many 19 year olds are really immature.

[youaremysunshine]

Also I believe 16 is the age of consent, or it is here in Canada.

[dasein]

Also I believe 16 is the age of consent, or it is here in Canada.

 

Depends on the state in the U.S.

[crude]

I can see why most people don't agree with this match. Usually posters here push the stereotypes. The man is the hunter who initiates, he plans everything, does everything, should be older and have an established career because he's the macho provider and protector. Women are always treated like helpless children and warned to watch out for the players who only want to "use" her body, even though she's 40!. In this case, the woman is older and seems like the predator. It's like a role reversal and that doesn't site well with people who buy into the stereotypes.

[TouchedByViolet]

Do your parents dislike this guy for other reasons than age? Have they met him? As some else said above you probably won't be able to change your parents feelings and will just have to live with it.

 

You should go for what makes you happy (as long as it is legal). All this BS about maturity in the thread is ridiculous. You are 19 and he is 16... you are both young and relatively immature in the grand scheme of life. Chances are you will not marry this guy but make memories, enjoy the experience and life.

 

Lots of judgmental posts here. Kind of lame I think.

[Treasa]

Do your parents dislike this guy for other reasons than age? Have they met him? As some else said above you probably won't be able to change your parents feelings and will just have to live with it.

 

You should go for what makes you happy (as long as it is legal). All this BS about maturity in the thread is ridiculous. You are 19 and he is 16... you are both young and relatively immature in the grand scheme of life. Chances are you will not marry this guy but make memories, enjoy the experience and life.

 

Lots of judgmental posts here. Kind of lame I think.

 

I agree completely...assuming she's supporting herself and her parents aren't doing it. If they kick her out, she can do whatever the hell she wants.

[ShellyGrahams]

1. Actually, your parents can tell you whatever they want when it comes to their house. They pay the bills, you don't. When you pay all the bills, you can do what you want. I support myself. Therefore, I can choose what happens in my house. See how that works?

 

Hmm..That's quite an assumption there for someone who doesn't know me. I have a job and help out with the bills. I never once said that i wanted to go out and raise hell and cause my parents problems, wth man? All of this hostility just because i like a guy younger than me.

 

 

2. Oh, don't get started on everything you've been through in your 20 years. A lot of people have been to hell and back, and then had to return a few more times. If you're a victim, go ahead and say stuff like this, but you won't get sympathy in the adult world. If your parents are still supporting you, you have it pretty good.

 

--Well, I don't know those people and neither do you so you're point is moot. And I've never cried "victim", i was merely defending myself and just because someone still lives with their parents, doesn't mean they have it "good".

 

3. Actually, no, I wouldn't advocate a guy to do anything different than what I told you in my original reply.

 

--Sure

 

You can get mad all you want, but if you post on a public message board and people are following the ToS, you sound silly telling them they can't judge you. Of course they can. Did you just want everyone here to tell you how horrible your parents are? Even if we did that, what would it change?

 

--I wanted people to help me cope against my parents judgment; Not to choose sides on whether my preferences in dating is right or wrong.

[ShellyGrahams]

Your posts give the impression that you are a very angry person. BTW if a 19 year old man came to LS and asked about dating a 16 year old girl in HS he would be flamed beyond repair. We are being easy on you.

--Sure,He would.*Sarcasm*...And in what way have you guys been easy on me? I've been called a Pedophile,Child Molester, Accused of Liking 12 y/o little boys....Wow,Ok.

 

Don't you realize that your dating underage boys is illegal? Your parents have every right to be concerned. If these boys were of legal age there would be no problem with you dating younger.

--Don't you realize you don't know which state/country I reside? Why hasn't anyone pondered that yet? Maybe where I'm from it's perfectly legal. And maybe my parents don't like the fact that i date younger, because they simply DON'T. Let me assure you, If I was 24, and i liked a guy that was 18/19/20 y/o, my parents would have a problem with that too.

 

What advice are you looking for?

--How not to let my parents' opinion eat me alive.

[stillafool]

Shelly there is nothing you can do about your parents opinion. They are not going to change. All you can do is go along with the program until you are able to get a roommate, apartment, etc., and move out.