ToyStoryThree Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 ...they're having difficulty getting over a person?
Minneloa Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I don't quite understand the question. Did someone call you unstable?
Author ToyStoryThree Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 More or less, yes. Implied that I should have 'dealt with it' by now.
NewPerspective93 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I don't understand what you mean by unstable. Have you tried being proactive in getting over the other person; initiated NC, blocked them off FB, etc?
Author ToyStoryThree Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 I don't understand what you mean by unstable. Have you tried being proactive in getting over the other person; initiated NC, blocked them off FB, etc? Done all of the above - then she got in touch to show me a new pair of shoes she'd bought, three weeks after we both agreed to stay away from each other.
Minneloa Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Was it your ex, a friend, a family member? At any rate, your other threads state that you've just begun NC, so I would really cut yourself some slack. You've essentially gone cold turkey emotionally, which is a huge shock to your system. You may *feel* unstable, in terms of a rush of comflciting emotions, but that certainly does not mean something is wrong with you. Hang in there!
Minneloa Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Done all of the above - then she got in touch to show me a new pair of shoes she'd bought, three weeks after we both agreed to stay away from each other. Did you respond?
Author ToyStoryThree Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Was it your ex, a friend, a family member? At any rate, your other threads state that you've just begun NC, so I would really cut yourself some slack. You've essentially gone cold turkey emotionally, which is a huge shock to your system. You may *feel* unstable, in terms of a rush of comflciting emotions, but that certainly does not mean something is wrong with you. Hang in there! It was my ex who said this - I imagine that because she is well over it, I must be, too? I don't feel unstable, but to be told that I am is a bit frustrating as it wasn't me who backed down and tore through NC - even though many times I wanted to.
Author ToyStoryThree Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Did you respond? No - but it has left me wondering so many things. Does she care? Is it a game? The comment about me being a bit fragile was said to me before, because I'd said I was struggling. I guess I'm just starting to wonder if maybe there IS something wrong with me for not having got over this, yet.
Minneloa Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Good for you! Resisting these breadcrumbs is one of the hardest challenges of NC. I know it's difficult. But you have taken a huge step in your recovery by ignoring her. As much as possible, try to focus on yourself and your healing process rather than on your ex's opinions/motives. Again, it's only been a short time. And really, who cares what she thinks? Your emotional state is no longer any of her business. Sending good thoughts! M.
NewPerspective93 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 That's odd, why would she do something like that. That seems very trivial. Don't look into it, you don't need to waste your time by investing it in analyzing what she's trying to do (games, if she cares, etc.). This will only pull you further down the hole. There is nothing wrong with you, don't blame yourself. When did you guys break-up?
Author ToyStoryThree Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 That's odd, why would she do something like that. That seems very trivial. Don't look into it, you don't need to waste your time by investing it in analyzing what she's trying to do (games, if she cares, etc.). This will only pull you further down the hole. There is nothing wrong with you, don't blame yourself. When did you guys break-up? Five months ago - we tried the 'friends' thing but it didn't work so it was then that we decided to stay away... Then that text. I too thought it was very trivial, and something that could have been kept to herself!!
Author ToyStoryThree Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Anyway - I've just started talking to someone else a few days ago and she seems genuinely nice, so far. I'm not expecting anything, but as I said, she seems lovely. Very pretty, and unassuming. I think I may just be over my ex, now. I'm seeing this new girl as an individual person and not as a comparison to my ex. My problem in the past has been picking the wrong types of women - emotionally unavailable, interested in someone else, the list goes on. I don't know why I seem to veer toward those types of women. But now I'm going to concentrate on myself, and finding someone who actually wants to be with me.
Recommended Posts