Smiley88 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Hello all, My background story:Me and my ex are both 24, we were together for a year, and she dumped me about a month ago. She was the first women i loved(at 24..ya i know), and we had an amazing year together, which included trips to paris,vienna, skiing,attending weddings, meeting her parents on many occasions. She always told me she loved me and that i made her extremely happy and that its hard to find someone with the same interests as her. It started of casual, i was really not that into her at the beginning,but my feelings grew more and more seeing how caring and loving she was with me. I finally fell in love with her after 5 months when we were visiting paris and everything seemed to be working perfectly as we worked together,even switched jobs together. The problem is however, that she told me a few times she wanted kids at 27-28 and start a family and wanted something really serious.(She did not however tell me she wanted it with me). My fault: I was afraid to grow up, got scared when thinking about the future and commitment(being the 1st girl i loved, i was always scared im missing out),i did not think of her as a possible future wife, just as a girlfriend, but i was beginning to imagine a future together. Her fault: We never had a serious discussion about what she wanted from me,our future, she did not really make it clear.She did complain about minor things a couple of times, but we never fought and she always told me how happy she is with me. Then, one day she tells me through an e-mail that its over.Afterwards i demanded she tell me in person so she came by. Her reasons were that she needed someone more mature, to help her around the house and that our futures are not the same(Dont get me wrong, im not a bum,whenever she asked me to do something i did it,and we also have the same job,same salary).She then told me she only though she loved me,that this year was really fun but that she wants more. She also said there is another guy ,that a new opportunity presented itself and that she wants to try.The only serious conversation we ever had about the future was after she left me for someone else. I partially understand her..or i try to, i have no idea what i want from life at 24, after a 1 year relationship with the first girl i ever loved,she however had her life planned out in front of her, and there was no room for me in it,at least not me at this age with this mentality. I really do love her,would never cheat on her and treated her kindly and with respect,she also confirmed that,and said i do not deserve what she did and that she is sorry. The problem now is that this breakup really shook me to reality,and changed the way i think about what i want in life,and it stings when i think that she would have been perfect in it:) I really would like another chance with her, but i dont think that will happen anytime soon.And if its in a more distant future, maybe in 1 or 2 years, it would sting knowing she did not or will not fulfill her dream of having a family at 27-28, and i dont want that..i want her to be happy. So know im basically stuck in purgatory bashing my head for not knowing sooner what i wanted and now knowing that in a relationship..love really is not enough.
Author Smiley88 Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated
Author Smiley88 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Update after 2 months post BU.. Its worse than before, this breakup made me take actions in life,making me more mature, i now do all the things she accused me of not doing, and it hurts..its so easy for me now to do them..but its too late... Now i know what i want out of life....but again..too late..i want her..so bad I cant sleep,i cant focus..everything i do, i do without a sign of happieness ... Im so fked up..i keep blaming myself for everything....my brother and mother hate seeing me like this..it worries them..my mom even started to cry..cant do this to her..but i cant control myself.. I think i blew the biggest chance in my life...i know i will never get a 2nd chance with her...or find someone like her I basically fked up my future and life:)
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