broken-hearted Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I won't go into the whole history of my breakup as I have discussed it on here and decided to not contact my ex anymore and concentrate on improving myself and my life. Basically, I have managed to get a job within a week of us breaking up. I had previous contact with the employer and knew that it was likely they'd want me to work for them. It's also a job I really want to do and will enjoy. One of the major issues in my previous relationship with my ex was that I was self employed and although it went well for a time, eventually the money stopped coming in and this put tremendous strain on our relationship. I promised I would get a "proper" job, but never did. So I thought that me getting a job and making positive changes was only a good thing. The one problem is that her best friend works at this company too and has obviously told my ex that I will be working there next week. I got an angry voicemail, basically saying that my ex "knew what I was doing", "what I was doing was not normal", "I need help" and that "I don't care that you've got a job". This shocked me as I did consider that her friend worked there, but it was more a negative point than a positive one. I certainly didn't take the job to get in with her friend and try to influence my ex through her. I texted her and said she's completely wrong and should just be pleased I have got a job and am taking positive steps in my life to improve myself and that I would honour her wishes and stop all contact. My question is, how do I behave towards her best friend when I am at work? I have no doubt I will have to speak to her at some point, I just don't want to say the wrong thing and make it appear like I am still hanging onto my ex. I even considered not taking the job, just to prove my ex wrong, but I really want to work there so that would be stupid to do it for her benefit. Many thanks.
anne1707 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Just treat the friend as you would treat any other work colleague. And congratulations on the new job. 3
Author broken-hearted Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Thanks! Just treat the friend as you would treat any other work colleague. That was my plan. I'm just trying to figure out why my ex reacted the way she did. Can I gain anything from her reaction that she thought I took the job to get in with her friend and ultimately her? I think she thinks I'm stalking her by taking this job, definitely not what I want her to think! I'm just concerned if the friend brings up my ex, then how do I react? I was thinking of just saying, let's not talk about her and keep this professional. Or would that then seem like I am being a dick?
fixing Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Mate, i really hope you didnt get the job there because you are trying to get back in with your exes friend. Because that is a big mistake. BUT IF YOUR SERIOUS, and you are genuinely happy about a new start, than, basically, barely acknowledge her friend. **** them. They mean nothing to you now. And don't bother texting/talking to your again again. ITS NONE OF HER BUSINESS.
Author broken-hearted Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Mate, i really hope you didnt get the job there because you are trying to get back in with your exes friend. No, I have thought about it a lot since my ex's call and I can see why her gut instinct was to think that. Even my sister said the same thing! To be honest it was more of a negative, because I thought what if the friend starts telling me about my ex with a new man or that she doesn't love me anymore etc. The only positive that I saw was that my ex would know I had a new job straight away and see I was making positive steps. Unfortunately she's seen it a one massive stalkerish negative! I'm just going to have to prove her wrong!
destroyed4sho Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 (edited) this girl sounds NUTS....you dodged a bullet there!! Go on with the job and NC her and be polite to her friend that works there. This will let her know that you didnt take a job bc of HER. She sounds like a narcissist thinking you took a job bc of her...does the world revolve around her?? tell her to stop flatterig herself......ahh get rid of this woman permanently out of your life!! the colleague will prob not talk about her...its work!! if she does just say something general and change the subject to work. she will take the hint. Edited March 23, 2013 by destroyed4sho
Author broken-hearted Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 She sounds like a narcissist thinking you took a job bc of her I think I have set myself up for it because of the way I have acted recently. I was calling her, texting her, wrote her a letter and this all screamed obsessed stalker. When I got the job she just thought it was more of the same.
fixing Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Sorry, im unaware of your past/ex situation etc... But, sounds like you want her back. If so, than you better go about doing your job the best you can, and DONT attempt to overly impress your exe's friend. Just be you, be the best you can be, and enjoy your new job. But dont, go over to the exes friend any chance you get, and talk, because you may very well, here very hurtful news YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR. Congrats on the job bud. But, man, you got to start taking pride in yourself and realise there are literally billions of woman on this earth....
Author broken-hearted Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 But, sounds like you want her back. I won't lie, I do want her back, but I have not taken this job so I can make that happen. I am glad she's knows I've got a job, because it was always a major issue in our old relationship, but that's as far as it goes.
NewPerspective93 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Be nonchalant about it. You finally acquired a job you would envision to have! Why give that up to prove an ex wrong? That would be a stupid move. If she has a problem with you getting a job that you happened to get after the break-up, that is not your problem. You have nothing to prove to your ex. Let it go, and live your life. Do this for you, do not do this to make her get your attention. Don't play any games here. Regardless, congrats on getting the job.
Author broken-hearted Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Regardless, congrats on getting the job. Thank you. I guess I was just expecting a positive reaction from my ex as well (or none at all), but my previous behaviour has probably changed all that. I am looking forward to working there and will treat her friend with respect and in a professional manner.
fancy feast Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Just be polite to the friend, and go make that money.
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