Loosergirl Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Hi, Well after my ex husband of 20 years cheated on me with his much younger secretary, I finally after 15 months of separation started seeing a great guy. You can image I may have some trust and abandonment issues. Last week after meeting my mum for dinner for the first time I pushed and pushed him in an argument, even made his case for him as to why we would t be together then in a rash moment of self protection, ended it and asked him to leave our hotel room immediately in the middle of the night! Great form hey! Well with about 10 min I regretted it, I was just trying to protect myself from getting hurt again. The next morning I emailed him trying to make it right but he stood firm and told me that "as much as it hurts he can't give me what I want and it's done" Instead of going in to NC I sent a couple of begging texts but he is resolute. Says that my behaviour has caused his feelings for me to change and constantly referred to his feelings for me in the past tense. I broke all the rules even got one of my girlfriends to call him. So again rather than leave it I sent an angry email "claim he played me as his could he have meant it when he said he loved me if he could switch off so easily" I also was critical of some of his friendships...I was hurt. He replied and was obviously offended and angry and told me not to contact him again. As I must have a liking for humiliation after a few drinks with the girls I sent an idiotic text saying I was sad as I was on a date and out song came on. 10 days after breaking up. WTF? What a looser! So this morn with my tails between my legs I sent a very short apology for the text and said I was having a bad moment. Nut job much? So now I've gone NC but I know he is hurt and angry at me for kicking him out (as he should be) and I can see that my trust and other issues pushed him away. But now I've lost him I can see this so clearly. How can I make him see that I understand and I fear with the type of man he is even if he misses me his pride won't allow him to contact me. How do I overcome that? I don't know my heart is breaking and I just wish I could turn back the clock...
lovelifexx Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Yes, you have made a lot of damage. I don't think there is so much you can do. What I would do first is to send a short message apologizing for your crazy behavior during and after the breakup. Don't write much else though. Don't tell him you will love him forever, that you want him back etc. You've done way to much already. Then you give him space and don't contact him at all. He I'm sure is at the point where he wants to be as far away from you as possible after how you have behaved, sorry to say. Just leave him alone, if you want any chance that he will contact you again. He can't fel pressured. And even if you contact him for the smallest thing, it will seem stalkerish to him. I don't think there is so much you can do. I really think you should move on and learn from this. I don't think many people would go back after someone treated them like that. Sorry for being so brutally honest. Take care.
Author Loosergirl Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Thanks for taking the time to reply. I know my behaviour was unacceptable and irrational. Something I have to learn and I've already made changes in my own life to better myself after this. I'm just hoping one day he may get the chance to see it. If not well I have no one to blame but myself!
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