Eclypse Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 My girlfriend has been sick with a chest infection for the last few days. Today is our usual meet up day as we are in a semi long distance relationship. We had been planning to see a movie tonight. She told me last night she'd text me this morning if she was well enough for me to come over. This morning she texted saying she still felt crappy and that we should just meet up next week. I told her to rest up and take it easy. Now I decide to call her and ask how she's feeling and it turns out she's gone with the rest of her family to watch that movie. I'm feeling pretty crummy now. Not only were we planning on watching it together but she said she was too unwell to see me. Yet she can't be that sick if she's gone out for the evening. Am I right to be upset by this? Any advice on what I should do or tell her? 2
Mr_Flay Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 You should definitely call her on it and ask for an explanation. She's obviously disrespected you by lying to you. Was it so hard to say, "Sorry, but I think I'll see this one with my family"? 1
todreaminblue Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 My girlfriend has been sick with a chest infection for the last few days. Today is our usual meet up day as we are in a semi long distance relationship. We had been planning to see a movie tonight. She told me last night she'd text me this morning if she was well enough for me to come over. This morning she texted saying she still felt crappy and that we should just meet up next week. I told her to rest up and take it easy. Now I decide to call her and ask how she's feeling and it turns out she's gone with the rest of her family to watch that movie. I'm feeling pretty crummy now. Not only were we planning on watching it together but she said she was too unwell to see me. Yet she can't be that sick if she's gone out for the evening. Am I right to be upset by this? Any advice on what I should do or tell her? maybe family pressure got to her....i dont think it was right what she did she should have told you if she had planned to see the movie with her family as i said though it might have been family pressure so ask her to tell you why she decided to go with her family....good luck....deb 1
joey.101 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Has she done anything like this before that didn't make sense to you? 1
Author Eclypse Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 You should definitely call her on it and ask for an explanation. She's obviously disrespected you by lying to you. Was it so hard to say, "Sorry, but I think I'll see this one with my family"? I sent her a text message asking how she was too sick to see me but not to go out. She's there now so hasn't replied yet. I think I'll call her in a few hours with a 'please explain'.
Author Eclypse Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Has she done anything like this before that didn't make sense to you? Not to my recollection although she did say she was sick a few weekends ago and couldn't see me. I didn't call her that day though. Hmmm... Feeling just a bit hurt here
joey.101 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Do you know if it's reasonable the family would have pushed her to go out to see a movie? You can't assume stuff, that's what causes further fights and mistrust. it's not a common theme at least. i suggest not being angry or upset 'at' her and by sending frustrated messages and don't be like - oh i'm gona give her a piece of my mind! Ask something like, how did go with handling going out with the family? was it ok? She might say no it was painful. If she tries to move off topic she probs doesn't want to help u feel better and not confused - but it's good if she bothers to explain herself. But i just think it's better to not blame her if you don't know all the facts and are confused. You could say, well i got concerned because i know you are sick and you did go out which isn't good for getting better. or something.
Author Eclypse Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Do you know if it's reasonable the family would have pushed her to go out to see a movie? You can't assume stuff, that's what causes further fights and mistrust. it's not a common theme at least. i suggest not being angry or upset 'at' her and by sending frustrated messages and don't be like - oh i'm gona give her a piece of my mind! Ask something like, how did go with handling going out with the family? was it ok? She might say no it was painful. If she tries to move off topic she probs doesn't want to help u feel better and not confused - but it's good if she bothers to explain herself. But i just think it's better to not blame her if you don't know all the facts and are confused. You could say, well i got concerned because i know you are sick and you did go out which isn't good for getting better. or something. Her mum wants to watch movies so its more than likely she wanted to go. If I'd been over today her mum would have probably come with us. The movie is not so much the issue here. It's that she said she was sick and told me not to come over. She is the kind of person who stays in bed all day if she has a headache. It just seems highly uncharacteristic of her to be going out now, unless she isn't as sick as she told me. Point taken though, I won't be judgemental or rude. I'll just ask what's happening. 1
joey.101 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 (edited) Hm ok. yeh confusing. I think the best now is to be inquisitive and not emotional. Sounds like she just wants chill time - i know girls who get sick regularly i can kind of relate. She probably requires the guy to compromise for her a bit. Edited March 23, 2013 by joey.101
Archgirl Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I'd be upset, especially if its a pattern. Why stick around for lack of consideration? 1
RachR Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I think you are in the right to be upset. I also wondered if her family pushed her to go out, but I would hope not - when I'm sick, or any other family member is sick, we insist to each other to stay home to get rest and not spread the sickness, not go out...
joey.101 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I wouldn't take it if I saw that she wasn't putting in enough effort for me. I'd feel like it's one sided and she's being selfish and not respecting me. But in this case if she knows she's best to be alone for alone time when she's not well then I'd have to understand that - I'd be concerned her mum makes her go out. But yeh if she isn't consistent with things she says and doesn't put in time to help me understand and expects me to compromise75% of the time, I'd get over that pretty quick.
Els Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 My girlfriend has been sick with a chest infection for the last few days. Today is our usual meet up day as we are in a semi long distance relationship. We had been planning to see a movie tonight. She told me last night she'd text me this morning if she was well enough for me to come over. This morning she texted saying she still felt crappy and that we should just meet up next week. I told her to rest up and take it easy. Now I decide to call her and ask how she's feeling and it turns out she's gone with the rest of her family to watch that movie. I'm feeling pretty crummy now. Not only were we planning on watching it together but she said she was too unwell to see me. Yet she can't be that sick if she's gone out for the evening. Am I right to be upset by this? Any advice on what I should do or tell her? I wouldn't read too much into this occurrence alone, but AFAIK there were previous issues about you feeling like your gf didn't want to spend all that much time with you. Have those been resolved, or are they still ongoing and this is just another one of them?
Radu Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 There is something there OP, maybe lack of forethought, or maybe more. What strikes me as odd, is that if she was that sick, that she didn't want her bf to come over, keep her company, be with her, cuddle with her ... she must have been quite sick [chest pains too]. What kind of mother drags her daughter to see a movie in that condition ? In my life experience, it has been the women who are more health consciencious than the men.
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