irc333 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I have a good male friend of mine that I sometimes hang out with at these parties. This particular woman was talking to him, I knew her pretty well after seeing her so many times at these parties (Meetup group) at a friend's house. We sometimes go our separate ways, mingle around, and then get together and hang out and talk with each other, etc. Anyways, I think this was the first time she met my male friend and she gets to talking to him. I meant to ask him a question...and I come across them, and she's talking about a subject I'm familiar with, with him....and I'm standing there listening to him talk, and I'm engaging in the same topic as well. But she kind of was pretending I wasn't there, and she was "zeroed" in on him...and she was talking really face, and I think she was really focused on trying TOO Hard with him. She was talking about a high school she used to go to where he currently lives...some kind of "rival" HS. But she moved around to diff. high schools in the area , she lost track. SHe asked him "What HS did you go to?" and he named it...and she was like "ooooh, we were your rivals back then, I think!" As if she was "reaching" for some kind of commonality she had with him. He had no idea about any kind of rivalry his 49 year old self had with some HS back in the day. BUt anyhow, she's one of those types that won't give you the time of day or is short with you if she's not attracted, but is needy and desperate around a man that she IS attracted to. Ever seen this with people? Is this a form of social awkwardness on their part that they can't have a casual conversation with someone, without having some thinking the person they are talking to has to have something to offer? Like there's always some kind of "angle" with them?
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 she was just interested in dating him. if she included you in the conversation, it would seem less intimate and she was hoping for an intimate connection that would lead to him asking her out. I don't think it's social awkwardness, we all do that.
El Brujo Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I encountered only one woman who came across as desperate and frustrated, and it was at a speed dating party a couple of years ago. She was attractive but clearly not my type... but she all but said, "pick me!!! I need some love, dammit!!!"
xxoo Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 BUt anyhow, she's one of those types that won't give you the time of day or is short with you if she's not attracted, but is needy and desperate around a man that she IS attracted to. That's a common mistake both men and women make. The very successful men and women are relaxed and charming with everyone. People who are struggling try too hard around someone they are interested in, and fear sending the wrong signals to someone they are NOT interested in. It is social awkwardness, yes. But I don't think indicates shallowness--just anxiety. 1
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