DrStrangelove Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 She dumped me.. but, you can look back at my previous thread for more info. Anyways, she and I made no contact.. I don't think I want her back, but here is her email.. please dissect and provide insight. TY! XXX, You got your closure email, so I want to get mine. It's been almost 4 months, and I've had a lot of time to reflect. I want you to know that you were right. I AM very insecure. I always knew that though. It's no secret, all the dieting, all the bouts of not eating for as long as possible. But it's become more apparent lately, so I'm trying to do something about it. However, the fact that you saw it so clearly when apparently no one else in my life thinks so, shows me something. I've also learned that replacing people is no way to solve problems. I wish I had learned that beforehand, however now it's too late. I understand why you were singing "We Belong Together" when we were breaking up. Because you were right. No one understands me like you did, and I'm starting to realize all the reasons why we worked so well together that I took for granted. I said before that you were selfish and moody and I couldn't deal anymore, but now I see that maybe that was true, but I knew how to handle it better than anyone else. I was just as perfect for you as you are for me. You said you hoped I'd regret it, and trust me, I do. I've been hiding my pain well. When people ask, I don't think about you at all. But that's a lie. Everything reminds me of you, and every day I wake up thinking things are back to normal and then I fully wake up and it's not, and it's still incredibly painful. I wish now I had taken you up on your ultimatum, and I understand why you did it now. I still don't use my facebook, I still don't consider anyone but a few people my friends, I stopped going out with friends to try to pass my time because it's just exhausting and stupid and when you're actually sad about something it's just irritating that everyone is so happy go lucky about everything. I guess to sum all of this up... I love you. I always have and always will. I was stupid, and I see it now. You've probably moved on, and you probably never think about me, but because I love you, I hope you're happy, and I hope that you're not in as much pain as me. You don't have to reply to this, I just wanted you to know. I would love to be a part of your life, to talk to you even just sometimes. I don't know if you'll ever be ready to do that. But if you ever are, I'll be waiting. I love you XXX. I'm sorry. I'll try to stay out of your life now unless you want me back in it. Breadcrumbs? Ego Boost? Her FB status still says she is in a relationship with the guy from work, thus the reason I gave her an ultimatum to quit her job. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) Id say you got THE email...You know, the one that "never happens"...Breadcrumbs?? Id say you got the whole loaf, my friend! Again, hopefully the others who are thinking they will NEVER get their ex back again should take note..It does happen... Soooo..... What are you going to do?? Obviously she left you for someone else. Not to be a wet blanket, but is it possible that the other guy dumped her and now she is going to her "back up plan"? Are you ok with taking her back, knowing she was probably doing unmentionable things with this guy while you were grieving the loss? can you ever trust her to not flake out on you again? Its all in your court, dude.... Let us know what happens TFOY Edited March 22, 2013 by thefooloftheyear 2
Author DrStrangelove Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 Thanks for the insight. Damn, this breakup took so much out of me. I know for a fact she wouldn't sleep with him.. probably make out.. which I could live with. I also like how people mention.. she was screwing other guys before you.. what difference does it make. As of right now, I don't want her back. I don't know what I will feel in a few weeks. LOL she probably dumped the other guy for all I know, yet her FB status still says there together.. I checked immediately after reading the e-mail. I'll keep you guys posted. THANKS!
McGriff Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Wow. I guess it really does happen. BUT, I kinda don't envy your position, because if you jump, you might meet humiliation. I can't imagine that things would be the same as they used to. I mean, it would seem that you are finally in the position of power, but TFOY is right---what if she just got dumped and is running back to old faithful, and what if she does it again? Don't get me wrong, you must be feeling really good about yourself right now! I know I would. I would proceed with caution though. The ball is definitely in your court. 2
CaliBabe Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 This is THE email... BUT. It ultimately means absolutely nothing if she is still in a relationship. That was the problem and should have been addressed first and foremost before she even started the rant. I think its great for you in validation but think hard about whether or not you want someone like this in your life. For me, the simple fact that her FB still says she is in a relationship with a man that got inbetween you two is enough for me to say F*** it!
Am4Real Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Mr. Love, It''s an "I want you back, I made a mistake, I regret it, I've learned from it, and I'm an improved me" letter. What needs interpretation? In her letter she states she no longer uses FB, and if TRUE, whatever is on there is irrelevant. When was her most recent activity on FB -- that is the truth serum in all of this. This letter is more than a breadcrumb as she wrote it, it does not mean she is absolutely sure and the only way to find out is to call her -- not write her -- pick up the phone and talk. Question for you: [highlight] DO YOU WANT HER BACK IF SHE IS BEING SINCERE[/highlight] She dumped me.. but, you can look back at my previous thread for more info. Anyways, she and I made no contact.. I don't think I want her back, but here is her email.. please dissect and provide insight. TY! XXX, You got your closure email, so I want to get mine. It's been almost 4 months, and I've had a lot of time to reflect. I want you to know that you were right. I AM very insecure. I always knew that though. It's no secret, all the dieting, all the bouts of not eating for as long as possible. But it's become more apparent lately, so I'm trying to do something about it. However, the fact that you saw it so clearly when apparently no one else in my life thinks so, shows me something. I've also learned that replacing people is no way to solve problems. I wish I had learned that beforehand, however now it's too late. I understand why you were singing "We Belong Together" when we were breaking up. Because you were right. No one understands me like you did, and I'm starting to realize all the reasons why we worked so well together that I took for granted. I said before that you were selfish and moody and I couldn't deal anymore, but now I see that maybe that was true, but I knew how to handle it better than anyone else. I was just as perfect for you as you are for me. You said you hoped I'd regret it, and trust me, I do. I've been hiding my pain well. When people ask, I don't think about you at all. But that's a lie. Everything reminds me of you, and every day I wake up thinking things are back to normal and then I fully wake up and it's not, and it's still incredibly painful. I wish now I had taken you up on your ultimatum, and I understand why you did it now. I still don't use my facebook, I still don't consider anyone but a few people my friends, I stopped going out with friends to try to pass my time because it's just exhausting and stupid and when you're actually sad about something it's just irritating that everyone is so happy go lucky about everything. I guess to sum all of this up... I love you. I always have and always will. I was stupid, and I see it now. You've probably moved on, and you probably never think about me, but because I love you, I hope you're happy, and I hope that you're not in as much pain as me. You don't have to reply to this, I just wanted you to know. I would love to be a part of your life, to talk to you even just sometimes. I don't know if you'll ever be ready to do that. But if you ever are, I'll be waiting. I love you XXX. I'm sorry. I'll try to stay out of your life now unless you want me back in it. Breadcrumbs? Ego Boost? Her FB status still says she is in a relationship with the guy from work, thus the reason I gave her an ultimatum to quit her job. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) I know for a fact she wouldn't sleep with him.. probably make out.. which I could live with. QUOTE] Were you in the bedroom closet when she turned him away? Not trying to be a wiseasss, but how the heck do you know what she did or didnt do? Id assume the worst. Not that it would necessarily be a deal breaker for everyone, but some people are OK with the persons past sexual history, but cant deal with the issue if the person was getting nasty while broken up with them. Keep us posted.... TFOY Edited March 22, 2013 by thefooloftheyear
fixing Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 wow. What she wrote out in that email is what every dumpee would only dream our exes would say.... Upto you now though. If she is still in a relationship than whats the point of it? Id sit on it a while. Make her sweat and question little things like perhaps 'hmmm, maybe he hasnt replied because my facebook status says im in a relationship with other guy' etc etc DONT JUMP AT IT THOUGH 2
ChrisC81 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Yep, this is every dumpees dream letter. Because, whether you go back to her or not.. hell even if you don't respond to the letter, YOU now hold all the power, and now you are pretty much the dumper. Tables are now turned. Congratulations. 3
Author DrStrangelove Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Wow. I guess it really does happen. BUT, I kinda don't envy your position, because if you jump, you might meet humiliation. I can't imagine that things would be the same as they used to. I mean, it would seem that you are finally in the position of power, but TFOY is right---what if she just got dumped and is running back to old faithful, and what if she does it again? Don't get me wrong, you must be feeling really good about yourself right now! I know I would. I would proceed with caution though. The ball is definitely in your court. TBH I didn't feel I got any sense of "power" or boost my ego. I'm talking to this girl from Seattle now. I still miss her though. I'm going to sit on it a few days.. everyone around me is telling me no. She did cause a lot of harm to me.. I quit my job because of her, lost weight, had to get a puppy.. I'm in a much better place now, just don't know if I want to go back. Although she gave me so much.. my confidence... This is THE email... BUT. It ultimately means absolutely nothing if she is still in a relationship. That was the problem and should have been addressed first and foremost before she even started the rant. I think its great for you in validation but think hard about whether or not you want someone like this in your life. For me, the simple fact that her FB still says she is in a relationship with a man that got inbetween you two is enough for me to say F*** it! Yea, the relationship status throws me off as well. I'm to confused to know what to do right now. I know for a fact she wouldn't sleep with him.. probably make out.. which I could live with. QUOTE] Were you in the bedroom closet when she turned him away? Not trying to be a wiseasss, but how the heck do you know what she did or didnt do? Id assume the worst. Not that it would necessarily be a deal breaker for everyone, but some people are OK with the persons past sexual history, but cant deal with the issue if the person was getting nasty while broken up with them. Keep us posted.... TFOY I agree. I guess I have to look at it worst case. I could live w it. I did have a fling as well. Life goes on... wow. What she wrote out in that email is what every dumpee would only dream our exes would say.... Upto you now though. If she is still in a relationship than whats the point of it? Id sit on it a while. Make her sweat and question little things like perhaps 'hmmm, maybe he hasnt replied because my facebook status says im in a relationship with other guy' etc etc DONT JUMP AT IT THOUGH Not jumping as I'm still so confused... I don't know where my emotions are right now. Yep, this is every dumpees dream letter. Because, whether you go back to her or not.. hell even if you don't respond to the letter, YOU now hold all the power, and now you are pretty much the dumper. Tables are now turned. Congratulations. LOL this was my dream the first month.. now, i'm indifferent to it.
Jono85 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 1. she did have sex. 100%. accept it. girls in this day and age aren't in fresh exclusive relationships and not having sex. 2. well done. like the other poster said, whether you go back or not is moot lol. the ego is restored. which imo, is the worst f-ing part in getting dumped!
cavalier99 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I agree with above. It is all about her. She doesnt say im sooo sorry i hurt you. I want you back. I hope you are well ecetera. I dont know. Seems to me she just vomited all over you emotionally and it is still up in the air whether or not she would want back together. Id be very wary of this. Do you even want back with her after so much heart break and healing? Sometimes it is best to move on. Cav
Author DrStrangelove Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Thanks Your response hit home. Yes, you are absolutely correct about the situation at hand. I agree. I went on a long walk with my puppy to think about things, and I agree. She is still too young. The thing I got from the letter was about my moodiness and what not. Things I need to improve on to become a better man. The other stuff.. I am indifferent to. Your GIGS thread is dead on. I was correct about her having GIGS, how she would write a letter coming back in two months, and what not. I agree. Taking her back at this stage in life wouldn't be beneficial to the either of us. She is just now going through the breakup stages... Anyways. I do not want to reply back to the email. I have nothing to say. I'm neither mad, sad, happy, or upset. Just indifferent, if that makes sense. She gave me A LOT, but also caused me to go through a ****ty breakup. 1
Author DrStrangelove Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 I agree with above. It is all about her. She doesnt say im sooo sorry i hurt you. I want you back. I hope you are well ecetera. I dont know. Seems to me she just vomited all over you emotionally and it is still up in the air whether or not she would want back together. Id be very wary of this. Do you even want back with her after so much heart break and healing? Sometimes it is best to move on. Cav After my long walk tonight with the puppy, NO. I have come to discover that I have gone through to much emotionally to go back. It would be toooo eassy. I also understand it would never be the same, and things would have to start from ground zero. Those same problems would resurface, eventually. "Love ain't for the faint of the heart" Love aint - cunninlynguist
Am4Real Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Perhaps, but the OP seems to want to know. "This letter is more than a breadcrumb as she wrote it, it does not mean she is absolutely sure and the only way to find out is to call her -- not write her -- pick up the phone and talk." He just needs to be prepared for the consequences of hearing "no" as you state when you mention it is too soon to be passed GIGs Most posters are responding with interpretations of this letter, which is fine, however none are definitive, only supposition making it the posters responsibility to handle. If he still has feelings for her, there is a big risk here in going backward should she only be meaning to be friends. As you can see from this letter, your Ex has been learning, growing and maturing. All of which is good / expected. However based on what I am reading in her email to you... I don't not believe she is done with G.I.G.S (No way she is done in 4 months and certainly not at her age), she isn't ready for what you want and she didn't ask to be in a relationship or get back with you.
cavalier99 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Thanks Your response hit home. Yes, you are absolutely correct about the situation at hand. I agree. I went on a long walk with my puppy to think about things, and I agree. She is still too young. The thing I got from the letter was about my moodiness and what not. Things I need to improve on to become a better man. The other stuff.. I am indifferent to. Your GIGS thread is dead on. I was correct about her having GIGS, how she would write a letter coming back in two months, and what not. I agree. Taking her back at this stage in life wouldn't be beneficial to the either of us. She is just now going through the breakup stages... Anyways. I do not want to reply back to the email. I have nothing to say. I'm neither mad, sad, happy, or upset. Just indifferent, if that makes sense. She gave me A LOT, but also caused me to go through a ****ty breakup. Good move. Stay NC. Notice that she also said she want you to get her "closure email". This is about her. I think this thing is way broken at this point and any contact would be BIG step back for you. Congrat on being indiferrerent and staying strong. Cav
Author DrStrangelove Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Perhaps, but the OP seems to want to know. "This letter is more than a breadcrumb as she wrote it, it does not mean she is absolutely sure and the only way to find out is to call her -- not write her -- pick up the phone and talk." He just needs to be prepared for the consequences of hearing "no" as you state when you mention it is too soon to be passed GIGs Most posters are responding with interpretations of this letter, which is fine, however none are definitive, only supposition making it the posters responsibility to handle. If he still has feelings for her, there is a big risk here in going backward should she only be meaning to be friends. I blocked her number so she couldn't call me or text me. E-mail was the only form I left open. I don't do friends with girls, so that isn't a plausible avenue. 1
Am4Real Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 sounds like you're in good shape then -- best of luck!! I blocked her number so she couldn't call me or text me. E-mail was the only form I left open. I don't do friends with girls, so that isn't a plausible avenue.
Thunderchild Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 She dumped me.. but, you can look back at my previous thread for more info. Anyways, she and I made no contact.. I don't think I want her back, but here is her email.. please dissect and provide insight. TY! XXX, You got your closure email, so I want to get mine. It's been almost 4 months, and I've had a lot of time to reflect. I want you to know that you were right. I AM very insecure. I always knew that though. It's no secret, all the dieting, all the bouts of not eating for as long as possible. But it's become more apparent lately, so I'm trying to do something about it. However, the fact that you saw it so clearly when apparently no one else in my life thinks so, shows me something. I've also learned that replacing people is no way to solve problems. I wish I had learned that beforehand, however now it's too late. I understand why you were singing "We Belong Together" when we were breaking up. Because you were right. No one understands me like you did, and I'm starting to realize all the reasons why we worked so well together that I took for granted. I said before that you were selfish and moody and I couldn't deal anymore, but now I see that maybe that was true, but I knew how to handle it better than anyone else. I was just as perfect for you as you are for me. You said you hoped I'd regret it, and trust me, I do. I've been hiding my pain well. When people ask, I don't think about you at all. But that's a lie. Everything reminds me of you, and every day I wake up thinking things are back to normal and then I fully wake up and it's not, and it's still incredibly painful. I wish now I had taken you up on your ultimatum, and I understand why you did it now. I still don't use my facebook, I still don't consider anyone but a few people my friends, I stopped going out with friends to try to pass my time because it's just exhausting and stupid and when you're actually sad about something it's just irritating that everyone is so happy go lucky about everything. I guess to sum all of this up... I love you. I always have and always will. I was stupid, and I see it now. You've probably moved on, and you probably never think about me, but because I love you, I hope you're happy, and I hope that you're not in as much pain as me. You don't have to reply to this, I just wanted you to know. I would love to be a part of your life, to talk to you even just sometimes. I don't know if you'll ever be ready to do that. But if you ever are, I'll be waiting. I love you XXX. I'm sorry. I'll try to stay out of your life now unless you want me back in it. Breadcrumbs? Ego Boost? Her FB status still says she is in a relationship with the guy from work, thus the reason I gave her an ultimatum to quit her job. She's still in a relatioship with someone else - ignore.
SharkTooth Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 DSL I'd say you have hit a grand slam here. On one side you have the letter, like most everyone has pointed out, the one thing we all would like to receive. On the other side you have yourself, who went through hell and back, learned some valuable lessons, grew as a person, and landed squarely on his feet. In my opinion, you're back. Congratulations 2
Am4Real Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Back on LS that is... DSL I'd say you have hit a grand slam here. On one side you have the letter, like most everyone has pointed out, the one thing we all would like to receive. On the other side you have yourself, who went through hell and back, learned some valuable lessons, grew as a person, and landed squarely on his feet. In my opinion, you're back. Congratulations
ThatJustHappened Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 It sounds like you're completely over her. Congrats! But...you won't be friends with girls?? Just girls you've dated, or all girls?
Author DrStrangelove Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 Having second thoughts.. She isn't in a relationship. We talked a few times. IDK what to do. She really feels like she made a huge mistake.
Author DrStrangelove Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 I talked to so many other girls in the time being. I just feel she was the one for me. I'm sure I will find another, but also I have a feeling she will always have a spot in my heart. What if I find another girl and end up regretting it after a year or so, for my ex? I also feel like she does have some growing to do, but so do I. I was the reason she left me. Some can see it as she left for another guy. But, I wasn't mentally happy, now I am in a better place.
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