Mr_hopeless Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 What things do you think are important to you? What attracts you to someone? apart from the obvious e.g. looks.
ses Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Several things that attract me to guys: -- We share similar interests -- We have similar values/beliefs -- He makes me smile/laugh -- Conversation is fluid -- He's stable (emotionally/financially) -- He's reliable and trustworthy -- Has a healthy and stable relationship with his family 1
neveragain34 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Everything ses mentioned, plus: 1. He isn't overly eager, but not completely aloof either. 2. He takes care of himself (eats right, works out, etc). 3. He is chivalrous (opens doors, picks you up on time, etc). 4. He is considerate (if you're a vegan, he doesn't take you to a steakhouse on your first date). 5. He is confident (not afraid to kiss you, hold your hand, etc), but still humble (and not overly suave) 3
Michelle83 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Those are some really good ones. For me, some things I look for are: 1. He treats others with respect. 2. He's professional/well behaved (I know if we out in public, he won't say derogatory comments) 3. He's financially smart - doesn't have to be rich, but is good with his money 4. Is concerned with health/fitness 5. Good hygiene 6. Good mental health 7. Not excessively needy or clingy 8. Doesn't smoke and drinks only in moderation (I'm a non-drinker) 3
Pompeii Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 For some women, it will never be enough. I've noticed that a lot of women have "laundry lists" when it comes to dating, but if they find a guy they're attracted to enough, all of that goes outside the window. 1
neveragain34 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 For some women, it will never be enough. I've noticed that a lot of women have "laundry lists" when it comes to dating, but if they find a guy they're attracted to enough, all of that goes outside the window. This can be true at times, but once a woman wises up and really knows what she wants in life and in a man, the physical attraction will die down and she will lose interest.
Archgirl Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I tend to form relationships/date guys that have most of the following (just an observation of pattern not a laundry list): makes me laugh has a big personality thinks me being rude is actually adorabubble is sensual and passionate with a high sex drive smacks me on the ass when I get too cheeky smart and quick witted and enjoys a bit of sexally tension driven banter strong sense of self and the confidence to say no well rounded life a big heart and affectionate hands (I love guys that will stroke my hair when I fall asleep on their shoulder in the middle of a movie) ...oh and a big c0ck 1
MsSmurf Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I like most of what the other gals have said, but would add that he needs to at least have a 5 year plan. It is so unattractive to me to meet a guy who is just working a job with no idea where he is going or he is unemployed with no idea what he wants to do or he has no idea what he wants to contribute to the greater good. Just to be clear I'm not saying he has to make a lot of money. He has to be striving toward a purpose however. For ex: A guy I've gone on a few dates with is working a dead end job he absolutely hates and he is actively looking for another dead end job. When I asked why he said it was because he hoped the new dead end job would have better hours. When I asked why he didn't pursue something he was more passionate about and/or would allow him more options in life he said he had no idea what that would be and never thought about it. This guy is in his mid thirties and I found that completely unattractive.
Author Mr_hopeless Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 I like most of what the other gals have said, but would add that he needs to at least have a 5 year plan. It is so unattractive to me to meet a guy who is just working a job with no idea where he is going or he is unemployed with no idea what he wants to do or he has no idea what he wants to contribute to the greater good. Just to be clear I'm not saying he has to make a lot of money. He has to be striving toward a purpose however. For ex: A guy I've gone on a few dates with is working a dead end job he absolutely hates and he is actively looking for another dead end job. When I asked why he said it was because he hoped the new dead end job would have better hours. When I asked why he didn't pursue something he was more passionate about and/or would allow him more options in life he said he had no idea what that would be and never thought about it. This guy is in his mid thirties and I found that completely unattractive. Would it still bother you if the guy was perfect for you and you really liked him?
MsSmurf Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Would it still bother you if the guy was perfect for you and you really liked him? Well I don't believe there is any such thing as perfection, so I am focused on finding someone who is right for me flaws and all. And the guy that is right for me wouldn't be lacking a plan for himself. Like the guy I used in my example has a number of really great qualities and he's a likeable person, but that isn't enough for me to overlook that he has no idea what he's doing in life. I guess what I'm saying is I don't see how it would be possible for me to really like someone that didn't have that figured out. I suppose I should also note that I'm 31 and looking at guys that are older, so in my mind it is inexcusable. Now a guy in his early 20s would need time to figure that out, but I'm no longer fishing in that pond.
todreaminblue Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 (edited) i love what arch girl said about a huge heart and affectionate hands i second that...... compassionate to others,would volunteer time to help others, shows humility kind for no reason other than just to be kind a guy who is respectful and not purposely make a woman feel uncomfortable, same beliefs values and ideals similar interests inner core strength, flaws and all he still has this strength to get things done a guy who can say enough when its enough honesty integrity a keen sense of justice a guy who wouldnt hold grudges a guy who is willing to stand up against others for others ......i would stand up for that guy a guy who is understanding and accepting of imperfection and loves me ragardless, doesnt concentrate on my many flaws i know what they are already I dont need reminders a guy who doesnt play games and says it like it is...so there is no confusion or over analysing or confusion...straight up .....i am the last person who needs to feel it ...i live confusion a guy who doesnt belittle me no matter if i say something so random or stupid it deserves it , some things are best left unsaid when it comes to ridicule.....i dont like intentional ridicule or arrogance from men....its off putting....no matter how attracted i was in the beginning so lack of arrogance and humility is important to me....its wonderful to see in men... a flirty guy who flirts all the time makes me gag......so real conversational skills that arent sexually related constantly Edited March 23, 2013 by todreaminblue
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