kaylan Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Men aren't innately born players I think that's a myth. What generally happens is a man 1. Examines the situation realizes he has tons of women after him/can see mutilple women at a time. Then you add in that he sees Not any worthwhile women to settle down with and becomes a "player" The difference between alot of "players" and "relationship men" is options It depends on the man. My best friend has had some sexy ass options throughout the years Ive known him...but he generally doesnt take them because hes a relationship guy. So I dont really believe in the options thing. I mean, I know Im picky as well, but I could easily drop my standards a little, become somewhat brazen, and sleep around if I wanted to. But my own morality and standards keep me from doing so. I feel relationships are harder than sex. Lord knows sleeping with women hasnt kept them around me. You need a bigger connection than that.I hate players and avoid them like the plague. Several of my friends do too. Actually one the other day stopped seeing a guy because she said she got "player vibes" from him. We are both 25 Oh I see. You and your friend can be exceptions to a generalization someone makes...but your own generalizations about all men wanting to be players who sleep around applies huh? 1
Author Alia_alia Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 lol. Yeah he's just another regular joe, with a gf which he is cheated on, not with one woman but up 2-3 other women concurrently. Sure players can reform, but if this guy not so long ago needed a gf and a bunch of f-buddies to get his appetite sated, then he will get bored with monogamy soon..unless you are super special. As someone else mentioned, many women love thinking they are the special one to tame a wild boy. As to your original question. is it possible for a guy to fall for his FWB..yes absolutely. How long the magic lasts with this guy is another story. He said they had that arrangement mutually. However when he asked me to be his "exclusive gf", he said he tried this (meaning undefined open relationship) and it didn't work. Said something about boundaries not being set very well and people just ending up being hurt on both sides. He sounds a bit hurt from his previous open relationship. The girl messages him to get back with him, but although he doesn't answer her (I've seen facebook messages), whenever he talks about his ex "primary gf", his voice gets really deep and gives me shivers. It really shows how much emotion he had for her... and it kind of bothers me. A lot of my friends say the same thing about "we'll see how long it lasts"... but I honestly believe in him and us...
AverageCat Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 He said they had that arrangement mutually. However when he asked me to be his "exclusive gf", he said he tried this (meaning undefined open relationship) and it didn't work. Said something about boundaries not being set very well and people just ending up being hurt on both sides. He sounds a bit hurt from his previous open relationship. The girl messages him to get back with him, but although he doesn't answer her (I've seen facebook messages), whenever he talks about his ex "primary gf", his voice gets really deep and gives me shivers. It really shows how much emotion he had for her... and it kind of bothers me. A lot of my friends say the same thing about "we'll see how long it lasts"... but I honestly believe in him and us... You know him better than us, so if you believe in him, you do, there's not much else to say : )
dchin1985 Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I agree with this. Most of the man whores or players I knew, didnt live the way they did just for sex and fun. They were hurt super bad by one girl they put a lot of faith in. Ive been friends with some of these guys, and to hear them talk about past relationships really makes you see how they ended up the way they are. Girls arent much different either. Ive dated emotionally unavailable girls before who didnt seem much for relationships. Turns out they got burned in the past too. Seems a lot of people who get burned become players or celibate. Too extreme for me. Gotta walk the middle ground with an open mind. Agree! Life is funny, there is a thing called "karma", you got to believe you will eat back what you did. I can relate to this. I was deeply hurt by my first gf and broke many hearts and cheated around. Then I thought i found a series of gfs who i thought were my soul mate, put complete faith in them then got super burned or roasted. After these experiences, now i "choose" to look for a proper relationship, i would take things slow and not to push sex that early in the relationship. And guess what! finding a relationship is whole lot more difficult than finding sex! . But true, most players that i know don't actually enjoy playing women, in fact many of them are just super burned and is hesitant to trust and put faith on a women. It takes a whole lot of effort and promise from a women to open him up again. But if you are able to do that women, he is one hell of a man with many experience and stories to share with you! It just worths all the effort and pain to find a good promising relationship who you can have great sex, sharing and fun with, than finding a sex buddy knowing that you will have to deal with all the other complications that come along with it later on (like losing a great friend).
Revolver Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Kaylan of course it depends what I'm saying is i don't think men are BORN players like people say and allude to. Circumstances and opportunity make men that way. For example popular male athletes in college who sleep with tons of girls on campus... Are they "born players"? Or they just have the ability to do so and act accordingly? I say its the latter
AverageCat Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Kaylan of course it depends what I'm saying is i don't think men are BORN players like people say and allude to. Circumstances and opportunity make men that way. For example popular male athletes in college who sleep with tons of girls on campus... Are they "born players"? Or they just have the ability to do so and act accordingly? I say its the latter Agreed with this 100%. People are just influenced by society. I am sure that in more conservative countries guys are less "player-ish" and it's a less desirable trait. Cheers,
zanzi Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I wouldn't go there. he's already shown you and told you that he isn't willing to be with you and you alone. When he says that, believe him. Its not a challenge to you to change him. Unless he can just suddenly change his way of thinking, its only going to end in tears. Yours, not his. trust me. Iv'e been there more then once. You are vulnerable and it's when your vulnerable that you often make bad decisions.
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