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Posted

Sorry to keep blasting this forum, but as I think of things I just like to write them out and get some feedback from you all. Hope you don't mind :p

 

 

 

Anywho, as I think about my relationship I notice that my ex never got my sense of humor. Now I have never been the tallest, most handsome or charming guy in the room. But I have always done well in social (and romantic) situations by having a quick wit and making others smile or laugh. This has always served me well as I think it immediately releases any tension or awkwardness. Makes people feel at ease and relaxed. But, ever since we started dating (3 years), I could never get any reaction out of the ex. She just didn't find me very funny at all. Eventually, I just stopped doing this. Really, stopped being myself, as this is a big part of my personality.

 

 

I am really noticing this now, because since the BU, I am back to being who I am and making others feel relaxed through humor and wit - and people (girls) respond as I remember before being with the ex. I guess this is just another red flag I should have seen, and definitely will keep an eye out for next time. I am compiling a list of deal breakers to watch out for in the future.

 

 

Anybody experiencing similar phenomenon after their BU??

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

Because of doing grad school and long distance at the same time I didn't have as much time to enjoy the things that I really enjoyed doing before I met my ex. Photography is fun but when you really get into it, it can be quite time consuming (in a good way though!). Unfortunately I had to rank things in my life and I put school first, relationship second, everything else lower.

 

Once she broke up I went back to my photos and found that when I started sharing them again people were so happy and cheering my return! It made me realize that a big part of me was missing during this time and she didn't realize what kind of sacrifices I was making in order to be with her.

 

As far as a lesson learned: I need to give more time to myself and spend a little effort to reassure her that it makes me happy and consequently I can be happier with her!

Edited by Cogee
Posted

actually, i was also funny and happy before the ex...after her constant criticism and that my jokes were cheesy and hers were better...i just stopped joking, laughing and being me.

i think she damaged me so bad , i dont see any of my humour or good social behavior coming back yet. im always in my head now.

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Posted (edited)
actually, i was also funny and happy before the ex...after her constant criticism and that my jokes were cheesy and hers were better...i just stopped joking, laughing and being me.

i think she damaged me so bad , i dont see any of my humour or good social behavior coming back yet. im always in my head now.

 

Ahhh, you'll come back around :rolleyes: And it will probably be like my situation. You will see the return of how people respond to you and you'll realize you're a better person than you were with her. Well, at least a funnier/happier person!!

Edited by mtnbiker3000
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