Laloca Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Ok, I know what I'm about to write is going to sound bad and I'm going to get alot of "get out of it right now" comments. Logically I know the guy I'm hooking up with right now is no good for me, but sometimes it's hard to call things off. That's why I'm posting, and I'd like to hear from others who may have had simliar experiences or were able to pull away from something they knew was no good. So I'm in my late 20's, but I've been seeing an 18 year old guy. We started out going to movies and just hanging out, but it quickly turned into more of a hooking up relationship. I've been around for long enough to know what a booty call is, and I know that I have pretty much been a booty call to this guy. However, when I bring that up, and I believe me, it is not in a way that is upset (again, I've been around the block, and I know that I'd rather have a steady booty call then nothing at all right now) and he will get really defensive and say "if that's how you see yourself...I don't think of you like that, I think of you as ___________(my name)". Sometimes we hook up and he has to leave after, sometimes we hook up and he stays the night. During those times, it doesn't feel like stricly a hookup. We will cuddle the whole night, talk about lots of different subjects, and kiss goodbye in the morning. Sometimes though, he likes to tease me as he thinks it's cute. He will tease me about hooking up with other people, both him and if I was to. He told me he does have feelings for me, but not "feelings". He doesn't seem to care if I was to find someone else to date, so I know that to him, I'm just a hook up. I'm not even sure what I'm asking for on this thread. I just feel that because of the secretive nature of our hook ups, and the age difference, I can't talk about this with people that I know or any family. I know that I'm stupid for getting involved with someone so young. Guys at this age are horny and excited for experience right? I honestly don't even know what feelings I have for him either. I mean, some days I feel like it's just a fun hook up experience, and other days I feel like I'm a terrible person for engaging in sex just for fun. I also hate the fact that I'm not his only hook up (I think I'd be more ok with hooking up, if I knew that we were both each other's only hook up until we met people we wanted to date/could date). Sometimes too, I wonder if he's just "telling" me about his other hook ups to either get a rise out of me, make me think he's more a player than he is, or if it's just some inadequacy issue he has that he feels he has to have more than one girl. It's almost like sometimes I see the real person that he is (or will mature into) and others he is an immature 18 year old player. So go ahead, hit me with your insights. Should I continue this for fun, get out of it while I still can? Should I try to explain things to him? Will he have mixed feelings about being wtih an older woman when he gets older? Thanks, and please don't be mean. I've already beaten myself up over all of this, but I do do appreciate any real, helpful insights/comments!
WhatYouWantToHear Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 I am going to be mean to you for being mean to yourself. Get out of your own head and just have fun. Stop over thinking this and especially stop feeling guilty for any religious or societal reasons that have been instilled in you. Think of him as just a <4-letter male genitalia synonym here> and have fun. Don't worry about his other hook ups and don't feel like you are using him, because even if you are using him, I'm sure he is more than fine being used in the manner you are doing so. Turn your brain off and do what feels good (with a condom of course).
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