ChrisC81 Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 I was wondering what the dumpers action say about them, post break up. For example, my dumper is living a lifestyle quite drastically different. Going out partying all the time, talking to (possibly sleeping with) lots of different girls (immediately after BU), and getting a huge tattoo (he has none). I know Its not healthy to read into these things, but his behavior is so different and out there, its hard not to wonder. Does anyone have any thoughts on erratic or drastically different behavior from a dumper after BU? We are over a month NC. Please share your opinions, or any input on any kind of dumper behavior you have witnessed.
singme2sleep Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Well I think it depends on why he ended things with you. If he still has feelings for you, then the partying and the tattoo might be his way of dealing with the pain. Guys tend to hide their feelings after a breakup, they aren't going to display sadness for the world to see.
destroyed4sho Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 some people deal with depression through somatic highs like getting tattoos, doig drugs, drinking, lots of sex, etc.. other lay in bed all day being inside their heads.
Harradin Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 When I was with my ex, she used to tell me that she wasn't all that fussed about shopping, she was into modding her car (mine is modified but I had done everything I wanted to do to it) etc but told me about the mods on other people's cars she didn't like. When she dumped me (left me for my 'friend',) she started to want to go shopping all the time, got mods done on her car that she told me she didn't like and wouldn't do to hers, started talking to people she originally told me she didn't like, she even did plans that me and her had made with her new bf. She had found out her parents were getting divorced the week before she dumped me, so I guess maybe she was acting out because of that rather then still having feelings.
OwlSoul Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 On the other hand, he might be trying to attract women. Once he leaves the relationship, he feels unsecure. Even if he is the one who dumped you. Funny thing about this is that if he is really desperately searching for a new romance, women will feel this and most likely reject him. I know one rly handsome guy who was hitting on me and wanting a relationship after he broke up with his gf, but I felt unattracted at all. My 'current' ex was going to parties more often and etc. 1.5 months ago, started jogging and etc. Then, after 3 weeks of out BU he returned back to me, regretting what he has done. We're currently not seeing each other, but he pretty much went to his behaviour he had when we were still dating.
Drummerboy420 Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) Last thing I found out about mine (dumper) is that she is dating a guy who hangs out with a wild group. She almost got into a fight trying to defend one of these people (and this was her first time even meeting them). A bunch of them live in a part of the city that she used to have NO desire to go into. Even when I wanted to while we were together. She said she had a blast, even though she was paranoid about what they think of her. She has always been fiesty, but usually over people she actually knows. And she always feels guilty the day after drinking, because she can have the tendancy to say whatever comes to her mind. Yet she kept talking about how much fun it was. Then after I leave, she calls me in the midst of a panic attack about me going for good, and says things like, "I couldn't think of anyone else to call. You're lucky, you have a large support group of family and friends. I'm just making acquaintances." Uhm.. Weren't you just saying how happy you were with these acquaintances? I told her it didn't have to be this way, but that this is what she wanted. Sooo.. *shrug* My friends and family became her friends and family. Even now they have no ill will towards her. But she decided to toss that all away. Edited March 22, 2013 by Drummerboy420
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