ex's brother got in touch accusing me

[calgary]

of stuff I didn't do. 2 months after the break up when she's seeing a guy I used to consider a friend.. it was only 10 days ago her best friend got in touch asking how I was..

 

I have no interest in having anything to do with her again now she's been with another guy. I've been no contact for a month.

 

like I said she's telling people she feels guilty about seeing my old friend and she's checked my facebook to see that I've blocked them both..

 

I'm trying my best to move on, i'm really hurt.

it feels like i'm breaking no contact anytime her friends or family get in touch. or somebody talks about her in front of me.

 

what's going on guys? why is she still talking about me or getting friends and family to get in touch about things? why of all people is she seeing somebody I used to drink with on a weekend ? why can't she just go find a guy I don't know, go to a different club and stop getting her friends and family to get in touch ?

 

my mother isn't calling her harassing her. im not seeing her friends. i'm not checking her facebook for reactions.

it's not normal break up behaviour is it ? if she was over me completely none of the above would happen would it ?

 

like I said i'm never getting back with this girl.. i'm just interested to know if her behaviour makes anybody else believe the same as me ? she's trying to make me jealous or hurt me or something im sure of it... it's not just me being paranoid right ?

 

I seem to be doing okay about things. I keep getting a little sad here or there. I tried watching a movie but the whole time I kept imagining her walking around my place getting ready for work making coffee, doing her hair. all the smells of her hairspray and stuff. it got me down a bit.

[Mack05]

Calgary it's all immature, manipulative game playing. Mind f** games. She was having her fun on Facebook and now see's that you block her. She knows you ignored her friends phone call. "Let's see how else I can get him. Got it....Now where is that brother of mine?".

 

She has no idea what she wants. The economy is more reliable than this broad. She probably wants your mate, but doesn't want you to move on. She is pushing your buttons and getting the exact result she wants -> You pining for her, thinking about her, obsessing about her and not moving on with your life.

 

Instead we get "Why does she does this and why does she do that and how could they do this and how could they do that" -> WHO F*******N CARES!!!. It's simply not important, when will you get that?

 

Calgary let me tell you what you both have in common and why you lasted so long. This will hard, so please feel free to abuse the crap out of me in return...

 

1) You are both emotionally immature.

2) You are both 'weak' people.

3) Neither of you should be in a relationship.

 

There will come a time when you say 'enough' but goodness knows how long that will take. I guess between 6 - 12 months. I said to you two months ago you would be posting the same bullsh! t in 6 months time. Well here we are two months down the line and we are right on schedule.

 

The longer this goes on the more I blame you. How much longer are you going to engage in this drama? I've told you what will happen if you continue on this path. EVENTUALLY you will have had 'enough' BUT you will have learnt NOTHING. You meet a new girl only to discover more DRAMA, probably mainly caused by you.

 

Why don't you want better for yourself? You are a genuinely nice guy, but you seem determined to head down towards self destructville. You have NO IDEA how much that sucks. Sadly, I see you making all the usual stops along the way..

 

This isn't about her or your 'friend' anymore. This is about 'you' and until you truly focus on 'you', I would try to encourage other Loveshack posters to no longer give you advice. I mean what's the point in wasting valuable time and energy trying to advise and help someone, who doesn't want to help himself? Best give advise to people that genuinely want to help themselves....

 

Dude you are not the first guy to be screwed over my a girl, or a so called friend. Time to grow a set of balls and stop saying "Oh Poor me", "why always me". Instead say to yourself -> "ENOUGH! I Couldn't care less about what her, her boyfriend, her brother, father, mother, sister, aunties, uncles, cousins, the next door neighbours pig, or what the freggin new pope thinks..

 

It's time to raise above all the drama and FINALLY sort myself out"

 

If anyone ever wants to talk about her again, just say I don't want to waste my breath talking about her.

Edited March 22, 2013 by Mack05

[calgary]

Calgary it's all immature, manipulative game playing. Mind f** games. She was having her fun on Facebook and now see's that you block her. She knows you ignored her friends phone call. "Let's see how else I can get him. Got it....Now where is that brother of mine?".

 

She has no idea what she wants. The economy is more reliable than this broad. She probably wants your mate, but doesn't want you to move on. She is pushing your buttons and getting the exact result she wants -> You pining for her, thinking about her, obsessing about her and not moving on with your life.

 

Instead we get "Why does she does this and why does she do that and how could they do this and how could they do that" -> WHO F*******N CARES!!!. It's simply not important, when will you get that?

 

Calgary let me tell you what you both have in common and why you lasted so long. This will hard, so please feel free to abuse the crap out of me in return...

 

1) You are both emotionally immature.

2) You are both 'weak' people.

3) Neither of you should be in a relationship.

 

There will come a time when you say 'enough' but goodness knows how long that will take. I guess between 6 - 12 months. I said to you two months ago you would be posting the same bullsh! t in 6 months time. Well here we are two months down the line and we are right on schedule.

 

The longer this goes on the more I blame you. How much longer are you going to engage in this drama? I've told you what will happen if you continue on this path. EVENTUALLY you will have had 'enough' BUT you will have learnt NOTHING. You meet a new girl only to discover more DRAMA, probably mainly caused by you.

 

Why don't you want better for yourself? You are a genuinely nice guy, but you seem determined to head down towards self destructville. You have NO IDEA how much that sucks. Sadly, I see you making all the usual stops along the way..

 

This isn't about her or your 'friend' anymore. This is about 'you' and until you truly focus on 'you', I would try to encourage other Loveshack posters to no longer give you advice. I mean what's the point in wasting valuable time and energy trying to advise and help someone, who doesn't want to help himself? Best give advise to people that genuinely want to help themselves....

 

Dude you are not the first guy to be screwed over my a girl, or a so called friend. Time to grow a set of balls and stop saying "Oh Poor me", "why always me". Instead say to yourself -> "ENOUGH! I Couldn't care less about what her, her boyfriend, her brother, father, mother, sister, aunties, uncles, cousins, the next door neighbours pig, or what the freggin new pope thinks..

 

It's time to raise above all the drama and FINALLY sort myself out"

 

If anyone ever wants to talk about her again, just say I don't want to waste my breath talking about her.

Definitely agreed. I feel above the drama, I just have an insane curiosity as to why she is still doing all of this.

 

do they get a kick out of putting you down and making you feel like cr*p? is that what they want out of life?

 

it is immature.

 

I was just curious. i'm focussed on me and my recovery. i'm watching a movie with a girl tonight i'm not going to ask her out don't worry.

 

I have my weak moments and I come on here and post everytime I do. it just gets it off my chest and stops me calling my sister or mother.

 

you're right though, getting her brother to message me did play with my mind, its bound to, you see his last name on the text message and your heart goes funny still I can't help that, it's all too soon for me. it's all happened so fast. I feel like these last 2 months have just vanished I have nothing to show for them and I would love to get over it and get out but I am just having a difficult time feeling sorry for myself.. it's not healthy but I suppose it's better to be honest with my feelings and get the grieving done rather than ignoring the pain. she's just not made it easier on me.

[Chi townD]

I don't get it? What's he excusing you of?

 

She's probably throwing a hissy fit because you're blocking all avenues of communication so she can see where your head is at.

 

She was probably bitchin at her brother about it and blameshifting. Because we know for certain that she feels guilty. So, she has to demonize you to try and ease that guilt.

[calgary]

apparently hacking her facebook account.

I don't know her password, never knew it. I blocked her on facebook.. it would kind of defeat the purpose of blocking her to check her facebook wouldn't it ? ugh.

 

I think you're right. she just won't seem to disappear.

[Mack05]

Calgary a few questions for you.

 

1) Do you think if you spend the next 6 months trying to understand/obsessing why she does the things she does, do you think you will eventually figure it out?

2) If the answer is 'yes' to the above question, how do you feel it will help your life going forward?

3) With everything this girl has done, would you take her back if she said sorry?

[fancy feast]

Just ignore this stuff. Don't dignify it with a response. If someone wants to pull crazy stunts, just kick back, make a drink and watch the chaos unfold.

[calgary]

Calgary a few questions for you.

 

1) Do you think if you spend the next 6 months trying to understand/obsessing why she does the things she does, do you think you will eventually figure it out?

2) If the answer is 'yes' to the above question, how do you feel it will help your life going forward?

3) With everything this girl has done, would you take her back if she said sorry?

probably won't get me anywhere. probably just get me depressed.. I just don't know why she's doing this to me I just want everything to do with her to go away and she's just trying her best still.. I don't know why she cares so much about me or what i'm doing or trying to get in touch if she's moved on with my so called friend..

 

why would she still be doing all this unless she's trying her best to provoke me to get in touch and chase her ?

 

i'll never take her back now. I can't be with her now I know she's shared a bed with another guy, it's just not right it'd never be the same again i'd never feel comfortable with her knowing that.

 

it's over in my eyes. I just can't help but wonder. I just wish I didn't look at her with so much hate.. maybe it will go some day but I just wish she'd go far away and never contact me or get anybody to contact me again.

 

I miss what I had. I miss my old life.. but its over and it'll never be that great relationship ever again. If she came back now it would just be painful and i'd turn her down.

[destroyed4sho]

what else did the brother say? did he just blame you and hang up? what was the point of the call?

[calgary]

he text me. that was the only point of the conversation really. when I denied it he called me a liar. I just told him I wouldn't convince him his sister is a bad person and he should always take her side no matter what, but that I didn't do it. then he just got mad at me for being so calm with him. I tried to end the conversation as soon as possible and not retaliate.

[destroyed4sho]

he text me. that was the only point of the conversation really. when I denied it he called me a liar. I just told him I wouldn't convince him his sister is a bad person and he should always take her side no matter what, but that I didn't do it. then he just got mad at me for being so calm with him. I tried to end the conversation as soon as possible and not retaliate.

 

he texted you what? what did you deny?

 

if you dont want to say thats fine.

 

just know he looks like an idiot for trying to contact you and accusing you of ****..and she looks more of an idiot for putting him up to it.

 

i read somewhere that if an ex is having their family talk to you its a sign that they want you back....but...my exs parents got in touch with me and...nope she didnt want me back..lol

 

Ignore, block, avoid her friends....this is all getting out of hand and causing to much stress!

Edited March 22, 2013 by destroyed4sho

[calgary]

just saying ' hello' andthen that he needed to ask me a question andthen he asked me if i'd hacked her account.. when I denied it he said I was lying. when I told him I had no reason to lie he said I was acting too calm, I told him it was because I didn't really care.

 

Yeah it's probably because I blocked her she put him upto it, put her friend upto it. I don't know it's just getting really bad she won't leave me to get on with it.

 

I don't think she wants me back.. after we broke up I made my intentions clear but she didn't want a relationship and now she's seeing a guy I considered a friend so I doubt it.

 

hope she doesn't anyway. it's just like I said, its all head games she seems to be playing. I've really struggled with this break up as everyone can tell on this site.

[Mack05]

 

1) why would she still be doing all this unless she's trying her best to provoke me to get in touch and chase her ?

 

It doesn't matter. You need to drill this into yourself. There are some aspects to human behaviour that you will simply never understand, no matter how much you study it. There could be numerous explanations to her behaviour, either way it doesn't matter

 

2) it's over in my eyes. I just can't help but wonder.

 

You wonder cause you are not strong enough to know what is best for you. You clearly have personal issues, but you would rather put all your focus on her behaviours then resolve this issues that effect your life right now? What does that say about your current mindset?

 

3) I just wish I didn't look at her with so much hate..

 

Harbouring resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to day. Work towards forgiving. Then this strangle hold that she has over you is released.

 

4) I miss what I had. I miss my old life.. but its over and it'll never be that great relationship ever again. If she came back now it would just be painful and i'd turn her down.

 

Stop living in the past. The only person that can make you happy is you. Once you achieve this, you will not miss your 'old' live because your new life will be far better..The longer you stay in this rut the longer the road back. Dude you are heading down a bad path and in truth, it seems you don't have the inner strength to come back. That is sad, cause you are a good guy with an awful lot to offer the right woman

...

You are better then this Calgary...Come on man snap out if it.

[destroyed4sho]

just saying ' hello' andthen that he needed to ask me a question andthen he asked me if i'd hacked her account.. when I denied it he said I was lying. when I told him I had no reason to lie he said I was acting too calm, I told him it was because I didn't really care.

 

Yeah it's probably because I blocked her she put him upto it, put her friend upto it. I don't know it's just getting really bad she won't leave me to get on with it.

 

I don't think she wants me back.. after we broke up I made my intentions clear but she didn't want a relationship and now she's seeing a guy I considered a friend so I doubt it.

 

hope she doesn't anyway. it's just like I said, its all head games she seems to be playing. I've really struggled with this break up as everyone can tell on this site.

 

sounds like she is getting paranoid about you....erghh NC total NC from everyone associated with her.

she put her brother up to it so he can scare you off...in case you did hack her account.

[Chi townD]

Look, How the hell are you going to hack a blocked account? She's lying for whatever reason to her brother because she told a friend that she already KNEW that you blocked her AND your "friend". Now, she thinks you hacked her account?

 

Another thing to consider is that she might be getting some backlash from her actions on dating your friend from others. Therefore, she's might be making HERSELF out to be a victim. "Calgary is Hacking into your accounts? What a psycho! You should be glad you two are broken up!"

 

Immature BS. Time to heal and move on dude.

[robaday]

Mate - while I dont want to keep you stuck on this, one thing stood out (got a little experience after my breakup) u sure she aint gaslighting here and hacking your account? Have you checked?

 

Just saying, because her behavior is just like my ex, she sent me 15 messages of abuse and i didnt react, yet told all her friends im abusive.....the other poster is right re: guilt, they have to blame you, cause they cant deal with the fact their behavior is ****ty

 

shes panicking cause your gone, shes panicking because she cant hurt you now youve blocked her, she cant get your attention, and getting her brother to get in touch is just low.....your winning this game and i wouldnt be surprised in another month she is apologising and trying to contact you

[calgary]

Mate - while I dont want to keep you stuck on this, one thing stood out (got a little experience after my breakup) u sure she aint gaslighting here and hacking your account? Have you checked?

 

Just saying, because her behavior is just like my ex, she sent me 15 messages of abuse and i didnt react, yet told all her friends im abusive.....the other poster is right re: guilt, they have to blame you, cause they cant deal with the fact their behavior is ****ty

 

shes panicking cause your gone, shes panicking because she cant hurt you now youve blocked her, she cant get your attention, and getting her brother to get in touch is just low.....your winning this game and i wouldnt be surprised in another month she is apologising and trying to contact you

hey I changed my password the day we broke up and ive changed it since a few times so there's no way she can get on mine. I still have her brother on facebook though so she can still see what i'm doing if she really cares that much.

 

yeah I can imagine she's blaming me to everyone to make herself look less bad.

 

I think I am winning. I've stayed strong I've done everything right ! It's just still really upsetting me. i'm trying my best. I didn't go out tonight because I didn't want to bump into her at all. maybe she will I will definitely report here if she ever gets in touch. I can't imagine her ever apologising or being nice though.

[Mack05]

I can't imagine her ever apologising or being nice though.

 

Why would you want an apology from a person like this?You shouldn't want or need any validation from a girl like this. Good job staying in last night

[calgary]

Why would you want an apology from a person like this?You shouldn't want or need any validation from a girl like this. Good job staying in last night

I don't think I do. what is your prediction though mack05? is she completely done with me or will she continue to play mind games and try and get my attention ? will I ever hear from her again in your opinion?

 

like I said I don't want her to get in touch. i'm done with her now. i'm obviously still upset and I still find the last year of my life a waste and painful to look back on.

 

i'm just really curious. i'd really like to know what you think she's doing here.

[Ajax]

 

like I said I don't want her to get in touch. i'm done with her now. i'm obviously still upset and I still find the last year of my life a waste and painful to look back on.

 

i'm just really curious. i'd really like to know what you think she's doing here.

 

No you're not. You're still trying to get inside her head, determine her motives, and play the "what if" game. You're lying to yourself by saying you're done.

 

If you were done you wouldn't be concerned about whether or not you'll hear from her. You wouldn't be trying to understand what makes her do the things she does. In reality that's probably something you'll never fully understand.

 

You've got to get out of her world and get back into your own.

[Mack05]

I don't think I do. what is your prediction though mack05? is she completely done with me or will she continue to play mind games and try and get my attention ? will I ever hear from her again in your opinion?

 

like I said I don't want her to get in touch. i'm done with her now. i'm obviously still upset and I still find the last year of my life a waste and painful to look back on.

 

i'm just really curious. i'd really like to know what you think she's doing here.

 

My predictions suck lately, which is actually a great thing...

 

The thing here is predictions don't matter. What matters is how you proceed going forward. You could and should meet an amazing girl, BUT this will not happen while a) your focus is on her b) you avoid dealing with your issues..

[calgary]

No you're not. You're still trying to get inside her head, determine her motives, and play the "what if" game. You're lying to yourself by saying you're done.

 

If you were done you wouldn't be concerned about whether or not you'll hear from her. You wouldn't be trying to understand what makes her do the things she does. In reality that's probably something you'll never fully understand.

 

You've got to get out of her world and get back into your own.

I quite like this new girl we've been talking every day and I met her through friends. we chilled last weekend at my friends and it seems really promising she's really pretty. i'm not really ready for a relationship at all at the moment but it's making me happy and i'm enjoying the flirting and the attention. she wants to go get some drinks this weekend with me and i'm really happy about it, it will be fun even if it doesn't lead to anything..

 

i'm just concerned my ex will catch wind of it and start acting up causing drama or something .

 

Im just concerned she's going to keep up the drama. it really needs to end now I need to move on with my life and forget about her. I dodged a bullet like mack05 said I did the right thing getting rid of her.

 

I do need to heal and stop thinking about what she's playing.. I need to stop worrying she's going to get in touch. or cause me problems. we broke up almost 3 months ago now. I need to move on with my life.

[LostOne1]

apparently hacking her facebook account.

I don't know her password, never knew it. I blocked her on facebook.. it would kind of defeat the purpose of blocking her to check her facebook wouldn't it ? ugh.

 

I think you're right. she just won't seem to disappear.

my ex's bro did the same.. I coulda given him a face full.. but I decided he and she are NOT worth my time. Wanna know what I did... ignored it all and both of them.

 

If anyone my ex knew talked to me, I simply ignored them or smiled and went on with my day. They want to see us suffer to KNOW they made a GOOD decision. They dont want to regret knowing we are doing better off without them.

 

So go on with your life man and do what you want. These people will only try to reach you to bring you down and feel better about themselves.

 

Don't let them win.. I ignored them myself and things been good.

[calgary]

yeah exactly, I didn't retaliate I figured that's what they wanted. I just kept my calm! they're not worth it like you said. that was spot on how I feel she's acting.

[Chi townD]

I'm glad to hear that you went out with a girl and that you had a clear head about the situation. That you're just coming out of a relationship and that you're not looking to jump back into one. But, you didn't mind going out and having a few drinks with a girl under the premise of having a good time and nothing more. That's being fair to the girl you met up with. So, good job.

 

Don't worry if your Ex might or might not have heard about you going out. Chances are that if she did, she probably wouldn't give a rats ass.