cntnokdahustle Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 First of all i dnt no how he can have the nerve to say all thoses nice things about me and dat he loves me to so many people that read this forum but wen he cant evensay it to me. he has little by little killed this relatioship, i dnt think he mentions how he curses at me and puts me down, disrespects me and makes me feel like im werth nothing. He even got his fone stolen one time and he dumped me for it i dnt no y , he was fine and all i did was give him some options of how we can replace it for him and then he got all quite i asked what was rong he yelled at me and stormed out of the car he said i didnt sound loving eough wen i asked him waht was rong then he dumps in in a text message a day later cuz i didnt call him. how can i call him is he is the one who went off on me and didnt want tot alk to me. Did he mention he says im nothing compared to his old girlfriend and it was a mistake that he evr gave me that ring.did he mention wen he said he hated my mom and dad... all i do is love him and god is my whitness that i have never dun anythign to hurt him, he is no longer how he used to b romantic and he hits me at my lowest point becasue he noz how much that means to me. And by the way he didnt even apologize for anythign he just came to my hosue the next day and acted like if nothing happend wen i say sumthing about things like this he always says o0o no ur talks i hate this and dat im always complianing but im not i just want him to sho me dat he cares like it used to b he says things have to b his way and that i am the one who is rong and i have to go to him and apologize for naythign even if it wasnt my fault and he has ssaid so much to me that i cudnt take it anymore so yesterday i told him y he wasnt loving he got upset and we had this huge talk and i told him dat i wasnt in love with him any more and that i dnt no if i can b with him if he doesnt treat me right. i dnt think thats love he is soo proud and he says hes the man and wears the pants in this relationship and hes the leader of it and that he will only b with me if i follow his rules. he just doesnt realiz that im not his any more and that i have lost just abot every feeling for him i dnt no y im still fighting it. He lied to me and showed me a whole diffrent person in the begingin told me to marry him promised me the world and now after i have been there thru everything he changes on me and treats me like if i was some sort of slave do everything his way. i dnt hink this will werk out even tho i do care for him my love is gon and he is not even close to acting in a way to make my love come back ..as much as it hurts me i cant b a masoquist and b with sum1 who doesnt even respect me , i have always been honest of who i am and i havent changed 1 bit sinz we met i told him the good and the fflaws about me and he took my how i was he put up a whole front of a guy who made me fall in love and told me he wasnted everything with me and now i am miserable he thinks he is giving me a chance to b with him he cant even own up to his mistakes, and he refuses to apologize for the hurt he has caused my but after a month a simple sorry just isnt enough it hurts em so much cuz wen i kiss him all the things that come to my head are the things he said to me and i just want to cry but i cant in front of him cuz he gets mad dat i cry or that i get emotional he yells and me and fights with me cuz he complians that i expect to much and that i am to sensative and romantic. i just want what i was promised what he made me fall in love with tahts the only thing i want ..i told him i will help him we can werk things out put he doesnt even want to try it just showes he duznt love me how he says. he thinks im like his parents just cuz i tell him smoking can get u addicted and its harmful for ur body and that motercycles are dangerus if u dnt ride them cardfully or he gets mad wen i worry that he didnt get home yet cuz i thought sumthing might have happend to him. he takes these things as restrictions wen all i try and do is b a true friend and lover to him ....im not a party pooper dnt get me rong but the facts have to b layed out on the table and i am his true friend and not just gonna tell him waht he wants to hear but the truth that will help him make a good decision...................everything i do means nothing he does nothing back and now things are even werse i feel lik im gabage with all the things he says to me he puts me down and makes me feel werthless. i just want things to b like they used to and treated at least with just basic relationship essentials like love respect , being equal learning to acepts and fix mistakes and faithfullness and just being there for eachother no matter waht ..i m there 4 him even if we r not talkin in a fight cuz dats how i am but if we have a fight and i m going thru sumthign he isnt there for me but just complainz thati cry a lot...please som1 tell me what i should dooo i cant take this pain anymore i just want a normal loving relationship wher im treated fair and accepted for who i am. .....i try and b pashent with him but i dnt no if he deserves any more of my tears ....sumthing that has hurt me just the most he makes me tell him how much i cant live with out him and makes me beggg him to b with me and thats just the lowest sum1 can get......what can i do i am so confused and upset i need him here for me now but i no he wont b so should i just get used to that........................ ps his nickname is ghetto and hes my fioncee i rote a response for people to see my side of this story ..he says hes found the perfect girl i dnt no wut good it is if hes not the perfect guy
Papillon Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 P A R A G R A P H S P L E A S E Seriously, no-one is going to read your post (I'm not going to).
dyermaker Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 [retyped for convenience] [referring to a different post] First of all, I don't know how he can have the nerve to say all of those nice things about me, including that he loves me, to the many people that read this forum--but he can't say those things to me. He has slowly killed the relationship. I don't think he mentions how he curses at me, puts me down, and treats me with disrespect. He makes me feel like I'm worthless. Once his phone was stolen, and he ended our relationship. I didn''t know why. At first he was fine, all I did was give him some options of how we could repalace the phone for him. He grew silent, so I asked him what was wrong, and he yelled at me, exited the car, and said I didn't sound loving enough when I asked him what was wrong. Additionally, he dumped me by means of a text message a day layer, because I didn't call him. Yet, how could I call him, when he's the one who lashed out at me, and didn't want to talk? Did he mention that he values his ex-girlfriend more than me, and considers his commitments to me a mistake? He also said he hated my parents. All I do is love him, and have never [with God as my witness] done anything to harm him. He's no longer the same person he once was, he's not romantic anymore. His aggression is specifically targetted at what will hurt me most. Moreover, he doesn't apologize for anything, he just acts as if nothing happens. He doesn't want to communicate, and he complains that I complain too much. I just want him to show that he cares about me like he used to, and to say things to me like he used to. He's not concerned with what I want, and he insists that I'm always wrong and should apologize for things that are not my fault. It got to the point where I couldn't take anymore, so yesterday I outlined the reasons why the relationship has failed. A discussion ensued, in which I made it clear that I wasn't in love with him, and wasn't sure whether I wanted to work things out with someone who doesn't treat me right. He's a very proud person, and he insists that because he's the man, he wears the pants--he wishes to subjugate me because I'm a female. He doesn't understand that I don't want to follow his rules, because I don't love him anymore. I care for him, but the love is gone. He's also clearly not on the right track to earning my love back. I don't know why I'm still fighting it. We had plans for marriage, and things were just peachy--but now things have changed to the point of chaos, where I'm feeling like a slave instead of a partner. I haven't changed, and I didn't hide any of my own flaws. On the other hand, he put up a false front, pretending to be the kind of man that he is not. I regret falling in love with him, because he refuses to apologize for the pain he creates. Sometimes, it makes me want to cry--but I'm not allowed to cry in front of him. I've tried to work things out, but he doesn't make any effort. He has compared me to his parents because I tried to help him quit smoking cigarettes, and avoid dangerous motorcycles. He gets upset, when my only intention is to protect him. I want things that every woman deserves : respect, equality, acceptance, and fidelity. I want a man to be there for me no matter what. I'm the kind of person who is there for someone else, but he is not that kind of person. I have no idea what to do, I can't take this pain, and I want a normal relationship. Something about whatever's happening makes me tell him that I can't live without him, and makes me beg to be with him. What can I do? I'm very confused and upset, I need him here to help me through this, but I know he will not be. Should I just get used to that? P.S.; His nickname is "ghetto", and he's my fiance. I wrote a response so that people can see my side of the story. He says that I'm the perfect girl, but what good is that if he's not the perfect guy?
dyermaker Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 I'll respond to my own post as if you have written it. I want things that every woman deserves : respect, equality, acceptance, and fidelity. I want a man to be there for me no matter what. I'm the kind of person who is there for someone else, but he is not that kind of person. You're not going to get that from this man, ever. You're better off alone. I have no idea what to do I don't believe you. You need to sever all ties with this boy, before you get hurt even more. I can't take this pain I imagine the pain is terrible, but he's not the place to look for comfort. I want a normal relationship. Hon, you deserve one. Something about whatever's happening makes me tell him that I can't live without him, and makes me beg to be with him. What can I do? Stop doing that, it's destructive.
Papillon Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 Dyer is such a nice, straight-shootin boy.
dyermaker Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 He's a guy. I bet that drives 'im nuts.
Papillon Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 WTF??? Jeezus, can't a guy give a compliment without people thinking he's being sarcastic?
dyermaker Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 I read it as a sincere bit of praise for the amount of labor it took to retype the post, and a recognition of the validity of my advice. No need to be a drama queen about it.
Papillon Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 I thought it was nice of you to retype it, because I sure as hell wasn't going to. I respect that. But I still didn't read the post, OR your advice.
tokyo Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 Yes, it was extremely nice to retype it, I was going to skip this one. Even thought the retypec post was still... (I´m referring to the content) P.S. I responded, does this mean I´m the perfect girl???
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