paras1te Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Questions are at the end of the story. Was in a 5 year relationship, lived together. Got dumped for no reason (spark was fainting) In NC for 4 months (with one break in nc because some things had to be arranged). I'm in some sort of a new relationship and I'm pretty much over the ex. Not really caring anymore (of course a little, but I think I always will, but I'm ok with that). I can go on with my life. Now ex puts up an old picture of a vacation of ours as profile picture. She did this once before a while ago and after we had contact then (to arrange some financial stuff) she removed it again. Now we don't have any reason to contact anymore and she feels that. I have no (practical) reason to reach out to her anymore and neither does she. She off course wanted to keep me as a friend etc. but i denied. Last time I saw her she told me that for her meeting up was still weird. (So she's definitely not over me) I think I'm allot further in the proces, and learned much more. She's way to stuck in the old. She's so confused because one time I told her that I'm not going to reach out to her and move on, and if she has the feeling she really wants to contact me the ball is in her court. Then one time when we had contact she told me she didn't contact me because she thought I didn't want her to contact me. :S The last time I saw her I told her that I'm ok with meeting up sometime. And haven't spoken to her anymore. (But again she's confused, always was emotionally unstable) Now she puts a picture of an old vacation of ours as a profile pic on fb. Here are my thoughts: -Thinking about reaching out, or should I just not do it to not get disappointed again.(I would be for a couple of days nothing mayor) -Maybe she thinks I don't want her to contact me and doesn't. -Should I wait for a big gesture of her (Even is she thinks I want her not to contact me) If she really wanted to contact me would she just ignore the thought of me not wanting that. And just do it ? Any dumpers here contacted the ex after he went NC ? And why the hell put an old pic of our vacation as profile pic of all the pictures you can choose. ? Mind games ? Missing ? Should I find out or leave it up to her?
Damsel in Distress Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Are you in the picture? Or it's just a picture of her while you were on vacation? Maybe she just really thought it was a good picture of her. I'm new to breakups and NC, but I think true NC you would not even allow yourself to see her Facebook... because as you just learned, little things you see on Facebook can stir your emotions and thoughts back up again. If somebody REALLY wants to be with you, they will make contact and not try passive ways like that. What Ive read about NC is that you shouldn't break NC unless they are begging and pleading and falling all over themselves apologizing for the big mistake. She told you before she didn't contact you because she thought you wouldn't want that - I think that's code for "I know it would hurt you" - because she's not wanting to get in touch with you to get back together - but maybe just having some nostalgic feelings and wondering how you are. My vote is to do nothing, and try not to look at her FB... if you are strong enough, block it. (I'm not that strong, but I know I pay the price when I see things on FB).
Thunderchild Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Ignore it - don't try to read anything into it. Stop "stalking" her FB account if you're over her. If you're with someone new - focus on that. 1
Chi townD Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 or...another option is that she just likes that picture and nothing more. I mean, are you in the pic or is it just a pic of the ocean, or mountains, or.....whatever.
youdunsay Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Going through this, He made me afraid of dating again. I'm afraid that whatever I do for the next guy will never be able to satisfy him. What can I do to make a guy truly happy and contented?
Emilia Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Now she puts a picture of an old vacation of ours as a profile pic on fb. Here are my thoughts: -Thinking about reaching out, or should I just not do it to not get disappointed again. please delete her from your facebook friendlist and block her
Emilia Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 better yet, delete your fb account and stay in peace you do have a phone and email account to egt in touch with people you know, dont you ? I think Facebook is a great tool to stay in touch with friends. In my case a considerable number of them live on the other side of planet Earth with a 10 hour time difference so communication otherwise would be via email. I love seeing how they lead their lives and how their kids are growing up. However, I don't have toxic friends on my facebook account. OP, delete your ex to fully move on
lemonlegs Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 You're with someone new and you're still concerning yourself with 'signals' that your ex might still be into you? Seriously, why be with someone if thoughts like these even cross your mind? You should not give 2 sh*ts what her profile picture is if you're with a new girl. Sheesh.
Author paras1te Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 Thanks for the responses all of you! Well fact is I still have feelings for my ex and I think I always will being together for 5 years is a big chump of your live. I don't mind I have feelings for her it shows me I'm a human being. She's only in the picture, I took it. I have unfriended her on FB a long while ago. I know she's still bothered about us. I just noticed she unliked my pages I have on there. This shows to me that she's not indifferent. I know I shouldn't care etc. and I don't at least not that much that it concerns me. but I can't help but notice. So actually none of you is saying I should give it a try and talk to her.. If she wanted it she will do it anyway ?
Author paras1te Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Please guys I'm 'bout to cave in and contact her.. Convince me otherwise or should I just do it .. ?
Emilia Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Please guys I'm 'bout to cave in and contact her.. Convince me otherwise or should I just do it .. ? don't do it. she dumped you, she should be the one contacting you and she knows that. please don't do it
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