Changed for ever Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Hello everyone, well this is my first post so you will have to go along with me as I am learning, where do I start... Just over a year ago I started to get friendly with a work college , she is in a relationship with a man, has a young daughter ( he is not the father ) and also has her sister living with them who she has raised as her daughter, I'm single and also a father myself, anyways we started a physical relationship knowing full well that it was just sex and nothing else, yes I am we'll aware it was wrong but we had always had something underlining between us, we always had a really hatful relationship in work towards one another and then when we actually started to work together found that we got on really well together so the affair began , as I said this all started just over a year ago and even the 1 st time we met out side work we found ourselves talking about things and I noticed that I was really interested in this lady and all of her life experiences, as you can guess by the summer last year we were deeply in love with each other and would text, talk and see each other as much as possible, due to shifts we were able to spend nights together and a lot of days out together so we were almost living two lives, we had special pet names for each other and were both aware that we had never had anything in life like this, we had each found our true sole mate, we were in love and life was amazing, I'm 40 years old and have truly ever felt like this about anyone and to feel the same back is truly an amazing feeling that makes us complete as a person, over the months we always talked about our feeling for one another and the fact that our bodies could speak with out words to one another, we even discussed how we knew our bodies wanted a baby together, she was my missing puzzle piece to my heart that I had known had been missing all my life, we both had tattoos of the missing piece and some special words also that applied to us and only us to declare our love for one another, she made me feel incredible and I always found myself writing love letters to her and doing special surprises for her to make her feel like the special lady she was, once I surprised her with an away night in a romantic castle and drew a heart in the sand with our names in...I even sang a song to her one night to show my love and dedication to her, We would hold each other all night long in bed and never let go, I would lie awake next to her all night long just to be next to her, her and her girls met my children and everyone got on so well together, my girls loved them all, her daughter never really seen her father and the man they live with is good financially with her but does not give her love, when I first met her daughter we got on really well and I tried my hardest to give this little lady the things she was missing at home and life really was amazing, all the children also knew what the situation was and what was going on so when they were all at home with him obviously no one could talk about it and me, my daughter even stayed at theirs one night as the girls were such good friends so as you can see life really was amazing for all involved, this man does nothing really with them and just sleeps, works and smokes and that's about it, they do everything them selves...over the coming months toward Christmas things were getting hard and I was struggling to cope with the fact that she was with another man, we had talked many times about her leaving but she wanted to stay due to him being her friend and that he didn't deserve to loose his family and that between them both they were financially well off and that he provided for them so well she didn't want to up root her family and have to start again although I'd have given up anything for them all, Christmas passed and we hardly talked over the period due to her being so busy with life and Christmas, the more I pushed for us to be together the more it seemed to push her away from me, since Christmas we have only met a handful of times and had a couple of days out together but she is so distant toward me, I know she is very busy as she now has her other sister living with them and she does have to do everything for them all as he really does do nothing for them really, I try so hard to distance myself from her also but always go running back and making a fool of myself, she seems able to just carry on as if everything with the simple fact she can't leave him and that is that, she hardly ever texts now and only calls when she is in her car on pops to shops, she doesn't even really bother when he is at work now and will happily go all day with out texting or ringing me, I on the other hand really miss her and try as I might I am unable to remove her from my mind, every time I close my eyes I see her and its as though she is burnt into the back of my eye lids, I love her with all my heart and sole and adore her family as my own,I find my self crying myself to sleep most nights and wake every single night missing her and thinking about her, she is determined to stay with him and does make it clear she has no intention of leaving him, I have found that over the last few weeks she gets very frustrated at me for always going on about us etc, I always say I love you and nice things but never get it back anymore, she says she loves me with all her heart and sole and that jam her man but we can't be together, as I said I would truly do anything for this lady and her family, do I carry on and follow my broken heart and fight for her because I know we are meant to be together or do I try to walk away and face a miserable life with out her, thanks for taking the time to read this
Mcnulty Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) You are the other man. She got what she wanted from you, attention and sex, now her interest has waned and she hasn't got the guts to completely end things as she works with you. You're a grown man, you knew what you were getting into at the start, you stated this..only sex. You are both ridiculously self absorbed if you think getting the children involved in your misdemeanour is okay!! Your daughter got to know them and you both slept over?? WTF?? THINK ABOUT THE KIDS!!..oh and this poor guy, who you only know as how your cheating partner portrays him, she lies to him, how do you know she isn't lying to you also? He may be a decent guy who's doing his best. Walk away, go no contact, for EVERYONE'S sake, you and the poor confused kids. She is a cheater, a liar, a manipulator and a coward. Edited March 22, 2013 by Mcnulty 1
Author Changed for ever Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 I think you may be right, thank you for reply
Thunderchild Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 You are the other man. She got what she wanted from you, attention and sex, now her interest has waned and she hasn't got the guts to completely end things as she works with you. You're a grown man, you knew what you were getting into at the start, you stated this..only sex. You are both ridiculously self absorbed if you think getting the children involved in your misdemeanour is okay!! Your daughter got to know them and you both slept over?? WTF?? THINK ABOUT THE KIDS!!..oh and this poor guy, who you only know as how your cheating partner portrays him, she lies to him, how do you know she isn't lying to you also? He may be a decent guy who's doing his best. Walk away, go no contact, for EVERYONE'S sake, you and the poor confused kids. She is a cheater, a liar, a manipulator and a coward. Well said!!
Damsel in Distress Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 The feeling of being crazy in love with somebody who is just as crazy in love with you is an extremely wonderful and powerful feeling, and you were lucky to experience that. But it's no longer there and the relationship has gotten one-sided. Sounds to me that this woman went into this affair only for the benefits of it (sex, attention, the high of it, etc) and had no intention of a relationship. She let it start to develop, but once she saw that you wanted more she couldn't help but find herself pulling back. I'm very sorry - it sucks But once a relationship has gone lopsided I don't think it ever goes back to being the same again I know how much it hurts and how hard it is to give up the hope of getting it back. She has told you she is not leaving him, and if she's not, she is NOT ABLE to be in the kind of relationship you want with her. Take care of yourself and Be strong. 1
Author Changed for ever Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 I agree, taken a lot of good advise today, your trite to feel such love back is an amazing feeling but I think you are rite, was all words from her and it was just the high and she never had any real plan to leave him and be with me, but thank you for your reply and time
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