hurt and betrayd Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 So I found out he was texting and deleting. I don't plan to break up but am dying to know what texts said. He says they are innocent. I'm so torn....want to know but scared to death.
iKING Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 That's a tricky one. They could be innocent and he's just OCD about a clear inbox, or they could have something you wouldn't approve of. There's really nothing to go on but suspicion, so you're probably going to have to take his explanation for it and give him his privacy.
TaraMaiden Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Ugh.... more drama..... It doesn't matter what they said - it's the fact they're gone, which is the more telling. If they'd been innocent, he wouldn't have deleted.
Author hurt and betrayd Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 ok so do I buy the spystick, and possibly find something that will end it? Or do I let it go and "try" to move on from here. So torn
TaraMaiden Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 That's a tricky one. They could be innocent and he's just OCD about a clear inbox, or they could have something you wouldn't approve of. There's really nothing to go on but suspicion, so you're probably going to have to take his explanation for it and give him his privacy. (have you read the mess that is her other thread....? her husband - and her niece...?)
TaraMaiden Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 ok so do I buy the spystick, and possibly find something that will end it? Or do I let it go and "try" to move on from here. So torn In your shoes, I would already have ended it. All this deceit, cover-up and excuses would be enough for me.
Author hurt and betrayd Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 I realize that but we have been together many years. Until recently it was a very trusted relationship. Hard to throw away something without concrete fact....Maybe I'm crazy
Author hurt and betrayd Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 Thank you for your consideration of my feelings and the "MESS" I am in.
SadSouls Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 I'm actually very OCD about having a clear inbox on my iPhone, if I have more than a few message threads there at once I have to delete them because I think it looks messy haha! Could be the same situation? I also delete messages that are less important like texts reminding me to do stuff or asking if I can pick something up on the way home from work etc. 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 No, you didn't create the mess. She did, and he did. You're the one trying the damage-limitation, but you must feel like you're climbing a mountain of marbles. The sad fact is, when people develop feelings, that what they think with. Their hearts, not their heads. Other parts of anatomy may eventually play a role, but you have no notion as to whether that has, happened, or will.... The very fact that the suspicion is there, means that fear has been fed by their actions. I almost feel as if a 'family meeting' may be in order, for you to pull all the threads together and sort this out. Her mother, her, you and your H. And nobody leaves the room until something concrete is laid out. WHATEVER THAT MAY TURN OUT TO BE. And it may not be pretty, it may not go your way. but it will be a 'witnessed' agreement of behaviour - and if they break that - all bets are off..... 1
Author hurt and betrayd Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 Yes family meeting is already in order.....But do I buy the stick and see or leave it alone? Still have meeting etc, but no stick??
TaraMaiden Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Buy the stick. Then if they lie at the 'meeting' you can catch them out on it........... 1
2sunny Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I thought you were buying the app to retrieve his texts days ago. Do something! Buy any application now that allows you to find out truth of what he needed to delete. But just the fact that he broke your trust and betrayed you shows evidence that there is no solid foundation to your M. If he was trying to earn back the trust he ruined - he'd be OFFERING to do anything to make it right. Instead he invited her back to your house without asking you first! He's not holding your feelings as his first priority - and that says it all. 1
camillalev Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 yes, get it. then you'll know once and for all. would you rather torture yourself for the duration of your marriage. 1
Recommended Posts