Hoaks Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Hi guys Just after some advice, my ex and I broke up around 2 months ago. (she had a touch of GIGS and my anxiety about us drained her). we went NC for a month then she called me, misses me, only one she has ever really loved. Anyway over the last week I have seen her 2 times, slept with her last night after a awesome date we had. She thinks I have improved myself(which I have, therapy, jogging, happier). But, she wants us to work and wants to take it slow. Says she loves me so much. She wants to see me once or twice a week, to see how we go. She has plans over the next 2 weekends with family and then camping with friends. Am I being strung along here? Does not commit to anything so she can do what she wants without thinking whether or not she has to let me know about it. She wants to keep our contact by phone to a minimum as it makes her miss me more. So she will call me over the next few days when she is ready for now. Is this all part of taking it slow when getting back with a ex? Or am I just being negative in out current situation and need to be more patient? 1
Cogee Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) I'm all for taking things slowly after reconciliation. EDIT: Looked at your other threads. To me this sounds like she wants to date you as if you were a new prospect she had just met. She wants to see if her feelings for you return and is wanting to limit contact so as to not spoil things too quickly. Just take it easy and go with the flow. Be yourself, and don't let the past get into your head. Edited March 22, 2013 by Cogee 1
OwlSoul Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Agree with Cogee. + do not panic about it, be cool. More you'll demand from the person, worse it'll get. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Consider yourself fortunate....You are one of the lucky ones. Gives hope to all of those that are taking it on the chin... Dont F it up.. TFOY 1
Author Hoaks Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 wow, thankyou all, very very encouraging from all of you . I do love her soooo much. So yes I will go with the flow on this one. I do see myself as lucky to get another shot at it too.
germain Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I'm in a similar situation. Take it slow as you said. Sometimes I also feel like maybe I'm being strung along, because we both want to be together but somethings keeping her back. I think it's just them being smart about the situation and not jumping into the ritual you guys were in that obviously wasn't working. If she has said she's interested in mending things, then you should believe her unless she's given you reason in the past not to. Go on dates, talk on the phone, space it out and be patient - just like you were dating again. Be the person you were when you met. Good luck! 2
Author Hoaks Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 Update Well guys, I have not heard from her in 4 days now, she had done this before 3 months into thr relationship. We are supposed to be hanging out tonight, but usualy she would call the night beforre to confirm. So telling me she loved me and everything else were probably lies. I have not tried to call her because she said she would call me when she got back from her family weekend. Simetimes she stays there longer but I have that sinking feeling about this :-(. She has never been one to let me know exactly what she wants so to leave me hanging with no contact does not surprise mr. I need to open my eyes with this one. Back to square 1 for me, heart broken again :-( I will update if anything changed but I doubt it. Women huh, cold cold people sometimes. I do know they are not all like this and she cant help how she feels, I just want her to be honest so I csn go NC again and move on for good :-(
germain Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 How old are you guys? It sounds like you're in a better place now, but if someone is gonna work on it with you, they're going to be putting in the effort too. I would have probably texted her (I know I'm late on this one) to confirm the plans. I think GIGS is one of the harder things to get over in the relationship. IMO someone who is willing to drop you in order to test the waters isn't really serious about your relationship. This may not always be the case, but other than cheating, I don't think I could get back with someone so unsure of our relationship.
Author Hoaks Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 How old are you guys? It sounds like you're in a better place now, but if someone is gonna work on it with you, they're going to be putting in the effort too. I would have probably texted her (I know I'm late on this one) to confirm the plans. I think GIGS is one of the harder things to get over in the relationship. IMO someone who is willing to drop you in order to test the waters isn't really serious about your relationship. This may not always be the case, but other than cheating, I don't think I could get back with someone so unsure of our relationship. Thankyou for replying. Im 37 and she is 26. Big age difference but we did get along great. Im not chasing her, she knew she was supposed to call me when she got back from her weekend to her mums house. Last week was just all lies, or whatever she was doing I have no idea now. She must be a good actress. Right now im just preparing to never hear from her again and start healing all over again. I guess I should move over to the coping forum, as bad as she has been the last 2 months I still love her to death :-( :-(
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