marty7 Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 My significant other said we would prepare our wills together and take care of each other financially if either of us were to die. we both have assets of about $1million each with life insurance. She also said i would be co-executor. i completed my will and left her with $100k and my child with the rest. She is co trustee with a family member of mine. She then hides her will, i easily find it and see she leaves me with only $1. Also i am not a co trustee to manage the $. she leaves almost all the $ to her brother. she denies this but i have proof. she says she will prepare another will, but i do not trust her and feel scammed. i have a hard time forgiving her. Is it possible to forgive and forget about this? i feel like i am sleeping with a scam artist, and cannot get past it. We have a young child, so I want to work things out with her, but don't know if I can.
Yasuandio Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) My significant other said we would prepare our wills together and take care of each other financially if either of us were to die. we both have assets of about $1million each with life insurance. She also said i would be co-executor. i completed my will and left her with $100k and my child with the rest. She is co trustee with a family member of mine. She then hides her will, i easily find it and see she leaves me with only $1. Also i am not a co trustee to manage the $. she leaves almost all the $ to her brother. she denies this but i have proof. she says she will prepare another will, but i do not trust her and feel scammed. i have a hard time forgiving her. Is it possible to forgive and forget about this? i feel like i am sleeping with a scam artist, and cannot get past it. We have a young child, so I want to work things out with her, but don't know if I can. Make wills IRREVOKABLE. You pay for and own her life insurance policy (it is a simple form) and visa versa. Name who you want. TRUST NO ONE, ESPECIALLY HER. Done and done. Edited March 22, 2013 by Yasuandio
Eddie Edirol Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Wow, Sounds to me like you need to do the same as she is doing with your will. If she is denying, then she doesnt want to divulge why she is leaving all her money to her brother after telling you something different. YOu will have to decide if you want to pry this reason out of her and then see if you can forgive her, or start over with someone more honest. I think that no matter what she tells/shows you, she will probably still keep a real will that will leave you with a dollar. 1
Author marty7 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 i can change my will (and in the process of doing so), and realize she can always have her own secret will. i cannot force her to benefit me in the will. the question is: can anyone trust anyone like that and have a loving relationship with them? i cannot kiss her without thinking - you are trying to scam me, so why would i want to kiss you. i feel betrayed and don't think i can turn back. Or can someone look past that because it is in the child's best interest?
Techie Artist Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 i can change my will (and in the process of doing so), and realize she can always have her own secret will. i cannot force her to benefit me in the will. the question is: can anyone trust anyone like that and have a loving relationship with them? i cannot kiss her without thinking - you are trying to scam me, so why would i want to kiss you. i feel betrayed and don't think i can turn back. Or can someone look past that because it is in the child's best interest? Betrayed twice, shame on you. Don't "sign up" for this known betrayal. Take your money and put it in trust for your kids or give to another family member. She doesn't deserve anything. You can't trust her.
Mint Sauce Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 this is the same woman who will poison you when you leave her? good luck...
carhill Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 OP, when you mention 'co-trustee', this indicates that you/she may have a revocable/irrevocable living (intervivos) trust. The lawyer who created this, and your wills, is your first point of contact. As this is posted in the separation/divorce forum, it appears reconciling your marriage to a healthy state may not be on the table, so proceed as if this is a divorce lawsuit and get proper legal advice to protect your interest. I've been a successor/liquidating trustee and am currently a co-trustee for a third-party trust with substantial assets (far beyond what is being discussed). Legal advice is mandatory. Get it. Good luck.
GuyInLimbo Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 the question is: can anyone trust anyone like that and have a loving relationship with them? Or can someone look past that because it is in the child's best interest? A) Are you kidding by even asking this question?? That's an unforgivable offense and throws up a plethora of red flags. B) What's in the child's best interest here? A relationship with zero trust? Yeah, I'd want to be that kid... I can only imagine the years of happiness in his future by you two staying together.
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