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Gave girlfriend one year anniversary gift and had to steal a kiss..is this normal?

Driftking102

By Driftking102
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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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I don't think my relationship is going as well as I thought. Just have my girlfriend an expensive necklace and she loved it and all she gave me was a hug and I had to initiate the kiss and she wouldn't kiss back. Did I do something wrong? I'm getting sick of these mixed signals. She calls and texts me all the time and we hangout a lot which is great. I really want to be her boyfriend and have been waiting for 10 months. I thought we were official and were not and now I'm wondering if I should keep waiting around or move on? I don't want to be in the friend zone and I've done everything else with her but sex and she's not displaying any sort of affection towards me and I'm putting in 200% everyday. Should I stick it out another year? The girl is crazy about me, am I expecting to much? Is this the normal behavior? She has been used before and I re assure her that I'm not using her. I want a normal relationship but I don't know if I want to wait around for 20 years for someone to be ready for a relationship when they don't show me any affection and I'm doing all the work. This is one sided.

Edited by Driftking102
chex Established Member

chex

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If she's not reciprocating physically and emotionally, then that sounds like she's not that into you :c

 

Maybe she's into what you're giving her.

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ja123 Established Member

ja123

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It doesn't sound like normal behaviour at all.

 

If my bf gave me a necklace and I loved him, then I would be all smoochy.

 

I'd say your emotional needs (not to mention your sexual needs!) are not being met by this woman, so why would you stay?

 

Relationships are about two people meeting 50%-50%, not one person putting in 200%.

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Sexy Teddy Bear Established Member

Sexy Teddy Bear

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You should have a sit down with her and have a serious conversation. Tell her exactly how you are feeling. Question why she doesn't show you much affection. If I got a girl an expensive necklace and she didn't show me much affection in response, I would take that as a big negative signal. You said she was used in the past, maybe she is using you. And if that is how you feel, tell her. And if she gets all pissy and breaks up with you because of a conversation, then chances are she was already going to do it and the conversation simply provided her with an excuse.

PogoStick Established Member

PogoStick

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Ask for the necklace back. Say it was meant for your girlfriend.

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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Im hoping everythings okay. She texted me today saying she loved it soooo much. I dont know what is up.

SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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A year in and yall aren't exclusive/official? Leave her arse and don't look back. How old are you all??

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Pompeii Established Member

Pompeii

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Wow. 10 months and you haven't had sex? Plus she doesn't reciprocate your affections? Sorry but you sound like a guy who is getting milked. I wouldn't be surprised if she's screwing a guy on the side and letting you provide her with things. That how it usually works if she's cheating already.

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ChessPieceFace Established Member

ChessPieceFace

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Ask for the necklace back. Say it was meant for your girlfriend.

 

Haha that's excellent. Well played.

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Trimmer Established Member

Trimmer

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I agree with the question about how old you two are...

 

I also want to ask: do the two of you agree that you are actually boyfriend and girlfriend, or is that just your perception of it? In your thread title, you call her your girlfriend, but in your post, you say that you want to be her boyfriend and have been waiting for 10 months.

 

It seems that your view of the relationship may be something different from her view, and you need to get that figured out.

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joey.101 Member

joey.101

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Do you know for sure she was used? Maybe she is basing it off something that happened to her she perceives was way more dramatic than it was and telling you that, which will certainly have some kind of effect on what you think. If she's anything like someone i know :-l she knows she has leverage over you because you are chasing her so much, giving you some hope so you keep going.

 

Tell her you want more than just words. Actions speak louder than words. If this keeps up and consistently the same patterns emerge, be creative and put an obstacle to stop the cycle and just see what happens - perhaps you say something a little different to something she says often that you know usually manipulates you.

 

Don't prolong this, it'll get way too exhausting and probably impact you negatively on other important things, like studying and setting urself up for someone who properly appreciates you.

TheGuard13 Established Member

TheGuard13

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I think it's less about whether this is normal, and more about whether this is what you want.

 

You seem to want someone who is physically demonstrative, and she's not being that.

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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All I want is to go to the next level in the relationship. I asked her for the second time if she will let me hug and kiss her when were leaving after we hangout and she still has to think about it. I told her that I think our relationship deserves to go forward. Whether its having being able to kiss and hug her ever now and then, meeting her mom and grandma, or coming to my house for a day to hangout. Somethings gotta change. If nothing happens by the end of the year im not staying with this chick forever. I know shes not banging other dudes because she didnt have birth control pills until she met me. She got them specifically for us and that's when we almost went all the way but I was a dumb ass and forgot the condoms and hadn't had another chance since.

sweetkiwi Established Member

sweetkiwi

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Oh man. You are getting used hardcore. You have to repeatedly ASK for affection....

 

I had to do the same crap and it NEVER GETS BETTER. Dump her. But you're not even together so just next her.

 

Move on. Don't look back and you'll eventually find a girl who will WANT to be affectionate and you'll think, "Why the Hell did I wait for this!!!!"

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TheGuard13 Established Member

TheGuard13

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What she said.

 

And I second the whole "asking for the necklace back because it was intended for your girlfriend" suggestion.

 

If nothing else, even if she doesn't give it back, it's a pithy way to tell her how you feel.

mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

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I don't know what to say about this. YOu gave her a necklace and she wouldn't even kiss you back? This is just odd. What does she have to say about this if anything?

ChessPieceFace Established Member

ChessPieceFace

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All I want is to go to the next level in the relationship. I asked her for the second time if she will let me hug and kiss her when were leaving after we hangout and she still has to think about it.

 

I am usually against saying this but sometimes it is warranted: END IT. (whatever "it" even is in your case since IMO you don't actually have a girlfriend.) Either she REALLY doesn't like or respect you, or she is weirdly averse to affection. Either way, stop wasting your time.

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sweetkiwi Established Member

sweetkiwi

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I am usually against saying this but sometimes it is warranted: END IT. (whatever "it" even is in your case since IMO you don't actually have a girlfriend.)

 

I have wasted so much time in relationships where I was being used for various reasons. And all because I CARED. They didn't. Or barely did.

 

I am not sure how old you are OP but I am only learning my lesson now at 25 because I couldn't grow the ballz to leave someone who was clearly using me.

 

You can't care enough for the both of you. Or love her enough to make her love you. IME when you need to ask someone you care about for affection there is NO HOPE.

 

Sorry. You seem like a sweet guy. Some girl will be grateful to have you!!!!!!!

FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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She's on birth control pills but won't let you hug or kiss her after a year. What's wrong with this picture?

 

It sounds like you are both in high school. Forget about her and move on.

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StarsOnFire Established Member

StarsOnFire

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Um....is she aware you guys are dating? Are you sure it's not just in your head? How old are you?

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clia Established Member

clia

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Let me get this straight:

 

You haven't met her family.

 

She hasn't been to your house.

 

She won't let you hug or kiss her.

 

You haven't had sex with her.

 

She won't have a drink around you.

 

And you claim that you've been together a year? What does that mean? One year ago you and she had a first date?

 

I'm sorry, but this girl is not your girlfriend. Please stop buying her gifts. You are being used, used, used.

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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She says she wants this relationship to go naturally and not be forced. So does that mean I'm free to see other women while she figured **** out or are we exclusive and just taking things slow?

ChatroomHero Established Member

ChatroomHero

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She says she wants this relationship to go naturally and not be forced. So does that mean I'm free to see other women while she figured **** out or are we exclusive and just taking things slow?

 

It means she wants to f*ck other guys while you buy her nice gifts.

It means you are being used.

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TigerCub Established Member

TigerCub

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This is so sad....

 

OP if you have to ask her if you can hug or kiss her - then she's NOT your girlfriend.

 

There are no 2 ways about it.

 

I find it so sad that you're just chasing after her and getting her gifts and asking for hug!! what the hell??!

 

Please just start dating other people.

She's not your girl and you don't owe her ****

 

I always think people should break up with someone before dating anyone else - but I hesitate in this case, because I don't even think she's your gf.

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