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@starylight- so in other words she agreed that the excitement feeling is at the beginning of the relationship but the butterfly feelig should last forever? sounds like she inexperienced. i personally dont feel any butterflies anymore , i just feel blissful happiness when im in the 'in love ' stage.

 

@mtbiker - yeah im a bit.older than you and I feel that I have been goig through relationships based on feelings rather than my head. im readig some books about compatibity and how to identify whether someone is compatible. one of the books if you are christian and young is call 'straight talk about dating'. pretty good so far. ahhh...feel like ive been going about this all wrong. my feeligs take over and i get clouded and make wrong decisions about people. i think iys those in love feelings that do it! with everyone else im a pretty good judge of character. Love Is blinding.

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Posted

Exactly. Nothing else in life really clobbers me like women/relationships. I just can't catch a break. I either am into them more than them me, and end up where I am now. Which SUCKS!! Or, They are into me more, then I am simply sticking around for the wrong reasons and will bounce soon enough. Also SUCKS but not nearly as painful!! Can't seem to find common interest level with the opposite sex. Thought I really had it with this one, but when the shine faded (18 months or so in), the incompatibilities shown through, and even though I was ready to plow onwards anyway, she wasn't. And probably for the best - 3 years later :mad: I'm about ready to give up ;)

 

Oh, and I am 41... Not exactly a young man any more.

Posted

Well, at least this time around I am really trying to understand this whole game of love and relationships and myself as well. This forum, talking with friends & family, therapy, etc.. Who knows, maybe next time it might actually work :D

Posted
@starylight- so in other words she agreed that the excitement feeling is at the beginning of the relationship but the butterfly feelig should last forever? sounds like she inexperienced. i personally dont feel any butterflies anymore , i just feel blissful happiness when im in the 'in love ' stage.

 

 

@destroyed4sho - I honestly don't recall how she even responded when I told her what I thought sparks were. I do remember that during the initial BU (my opinion of the sparks came in our "closure" conversation a couple days after BU) that she said she had felt "sparks," "butterflies," or whatever you want to call it only one time before and for whatever reason she just wasn't feeling the same way about me as in this previous relationship from a few years back.

 

We are both in our late twenties and she definitely had more experience in relationships than I did. I do believe though a lot of them were on the shorter end (like ours) so I honestly believe inexperience (on both our ends) and her trying recreate the feelings of the only relationship she was in love during played a role in her ending things.

 

In a round about way she said she wasn't in love with me or going to fall in love with me (which hurts like hell when you think after so many years you have found someone that makes you sooo happy). While I think her rational in what love is is a little unrealistic that's her reality and I can't do squat about it.

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