works309 Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 Hello -- new to the forum and praying for an answer. I met Julie several years ago and we were both in relationships. Recently I became single she found out through a mutual friend and contacted me to tell me that she wanted to be with me for as long as she could remember, so she ended her long-term relationship to start one with me. I entertained the idea but within the first week, during one of our long distance romance -- telephone conversations I realized that something was not quite right about her suggested that we take it slow. Later that week, I started getting emails from her friends and our mutual friends that they heard we were getting married. So of course I confronted her.... Well that's when everything fell apart. She admitted that she had leukemia and was schizophrenic but she no longer needed her medication now that she had me...She stated that she would commit suicide if I ever ended the relationship and I've been pacifying her for the past few months to keep her alive. I told her that I would not embarrass her by contradicting her in front of her friends but that she had to stop telling people that were going to get married and let the rumors die. Some days she seemed fine but every time I tried to tell her that it won't happen that she's not the person I met years ago or even weeks ago, she crumbles and threatens suicide until I agree to give her more time to get her life together. I feel awful leading her on but would feel worse if she killed herself because of me. In order to prove that she can get her life together, she's started a new business with the stipulation that I would come and visit her. Since I'm in that part of country on business occasionally, I don't have a problem doing this but my new love interest, Amy, whom I've kept informed of the whole "Julie" situation since the onset is furious. I understand some of her frustration. I'm crazy about her, but can't tell my friends because it may get back to Julie.... Amy thinks that Julie is obsessive and manipulating me but Amy has not been on the phone when I'm talking to Julie. I honestly believe she will kill herself and I can't have that on my head for the rest of my life. I'm hoping that Julie's new business will keep her so occupied that eventually she'll forget about me or meet someone else.... Any advice...
djtmalta Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 I firmly believe that the girl clamming she will kill herself is manipulating a very kind, caring person like yourself. Don't fall for it anymore. Get a hold of the suicide hotline number and give it to her and end it with that. Do not accept anymore calls from this girl. You are not god and have no control over her actions. By placating to her "suicide" threat you are only making her and your condition worse. It needs to end and now. If I was your current girlfriend I would be very upset at this whole ordeal. You might end up loosing your current girlfriend over someone who in my opinion is manipulating you. David
melizza1971 Posted September 11, 2004 Posted September 11, 2004 [color=red][/color] It is a terrible feeling to think that it would be your fault if she killed herself. But sometimes these things can not be prevented. You are such a tender hearted person to put up with it this long. You know maybe you can speak to her girlfriends about her not wanting to continue taking her medication and how she falls apart when you suggest the two of you splitting. Sometimes friends can straighten friends out in ways that intimate partners can't. Its not right putting your happiness on hold for someone that can't get their mind straight. I am dealing with someone right now like your "not so much a friend". I am so drained with dealing with this person I don't think you want to get to this point. Think about it.... Start seperating yourself little by little you may even need to change your number. This maybe an idea. I don't know I just hope it gets better for you. Even if it means letting her do what she feels she needs to do. Most of the time it not true.
grojas1986 Posted September 12, 2004 Posted September 12, 2004 if she says she is gonna kill herself call her mom and tell her about the suicide situation and garauntee it will never happen again once mommy finds out. the entire story will change , she will be like, "i never said i was gonna kill myself mom". trust me it worked for me. lol it's still funny.
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