Is it normal for a 23 mo old to pull her own hair and hit herself when upset?

[supermom]

Is it normal for a almost two year old (oct) to pull her hair and slap herself when she is upset?

 

My daughter is doing this now, and it's really bothering me because I hate to see her hurting herself. I'm afraid.

 

I'm a first timer here....I need some advise!

 

Thanks

[Merin]

I know my niece did that when she was about that age.

 

I don't know that it can be classified as "abnormal" but certainly disturbing.

 

I also had a friend who's daughter would bang her head on her crib until she feel asleep and my own daughter at first would tug at her hair when she was sleepy until she got to a point that she tugged on MY hair (hmmmm lol maybe she figured out it didn't hurt her to pull at mine?)

 

I would speak to her pediatric doc regarding this, but in the mean time when your daughter is getting upset to the point of having a tantrum or getting upset like that, try going to her and holding her, stroke her hair and tell her you love her and you don't want her to hurt herself.

[Thor]

Does your daughter watch television or movies? Maybe she's getting the idea for this type of behavior from that. If so, have her watch something else. As for stopping the behavior though I would suggest seeing her doctor or pediatrician. Maybe it's something that he/she would know about?

[emra]

I don't think it is abnormal, depends on what degree they do it too.

My daughter is now 5 and she is VERY STRONG. She would do a lot of the same things, all the time, sometimes even now she will go into one of these rages?! when she does I hold her very tight. Sometimes it is very hard because they can kick and scream and get a little more upset but after a few times of doing it, they realize that it is safe. And that you are there.

[supermom]

thank you for your replies. I also spoke to my mother who says that she is trying to upset me. I will also talk to her doc.

 

Thank you all so much

[mimiortiz]

My friend's daughter would freak out at bed time and scream her lungs out and crawl into a corner and be nuts! it's gotten better. These things come in stages, usually disappearing after about 3 mos is what I have experienced.

 

I want to say hug her and console her, but then also I wanna say ignore it, so she'll see she is not getting a reaction. I guess it depends what the tantrum is about. AND Try some herbal stuff ... Bach's flower remedies have been helpful w/ us, esp. rescue remedy which is known to calm a freaking out child. I would try natural stuff before anything else ... and of course speaking with her and soothing her first.

 

OH, and be sure to tell her to use her words when she is upset. She is probably frustrated and can't communicate it well. Try to give her the words to use like "I don't like that!" AND reaffirm her feelings, "I know you are upset. You're really mad, aren't you?" So she does not feel she must communicate by hitting herself, or do so in response to frustration.

 

Last, is there a stressful thing approaching/happening? KIds will react in the darndest ways.

 

Hope it helps.

[supermom]

She is getting off her bottle and her father and I have been giving in. Last night we didn't and it seemed to go ok. I acted like her screaming didn't bother me and she stopped. I also was talking to her softly and preoccupying her by coloring with her and watching cartoons. Seemed to help.

 

We are going to have to be firmer on the bottle thing. I think we are doing her an injustice by giving in. She needs to learn respect. She is an only child and I don't want to give in all the time so that way when she's older she hopefully will not argue as much.

 

I will try the herbal stuff. theres bedtime bath stuff too I will try.

 

Thanks again

[Merin]

Supermom, You may want to try giving her a sugarless snack before bedtime as well, like gramcrackers or something like that, and a little juice.

 

There is a lavender bath liquid by johnson and johnson I think it is, and it really helped putting my kiddos into a more relaxed frame of mind before bed.

[sassyone]

My daughter does this sometimes too . She is 16mths going on 3 lol shes so grown up for her age but when shes told off for something she starts stropping and then stares at me and pinches herself. It really concerned me at first as no mother likes to see their child inflicting pain on themselves but i soon realised she was doing it for attention. Because if i was looking in her direction then she would do it but if i ignored her she wouldnt do it. I started to ignore her for a couple of minutes when she was having her strops and then once she's calmed down i give her a cuddle and we have some "us" time and now when shes told off she doesnt do it anymore. Kids arent thick..they know how to reel us in and they know how to wind us up too. My advice is when she is stropping let her finish her tantrum..don't even pay any attention to it because thats what shes waiting for and explain to her that when shes calmed down she can have a cuddle and do something nice...it will work after a few attempts trust me...my daughters so much better now.