bjjstar Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Last night I was talking to my girl about our relationship and where we stand. She told me that she does not want to date right now but she does like me. She said she wants her next relationship to be her husband and she does not not what she wants in an husband yet. Therefore I'm confused right now as to what she's thinking.. what does she mean by she likes me but does not want to date? Anyone please give me some insights.
TaraMaiden Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 In three words: You're Friend Zoned. And you're patently not husband material, because she may not know what that is - but one thing's for sure - she doesn't think you have it. Oh, and, one last thing: She's not your girl. I think you'll find she just broke up with you. Sorry, but, it is what it is..... 3
Author bjjstar Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 I pretty sure I'm not friendzoned, we are still having sex often..
TaraMaiden Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Oh, even better! You're a FWB!! At least you're getting something out of it - but a relationship is not something she wants right now. She told you that. YOU told us that, in black-and-white. She doesn't want to date right now. So she's happy for you to stick around for some great sex, but be warned - she isn't committing to you, and if something 'better' comes along, you can bet your bottom dollar you won't see her for dust... Solution? Dump her completely, before she does it to you, blind-siding you and leaving you in bewildered pain. 1
Author bjjstar Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 But she tells me she likes me.. that's the part which throws me off. Why would she say that?
TaraMaiden Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Because - she likes you! But she doesn't love you, isn't in love with you, doesn't want to commit to dating you and you're obviously not husband material.... How old are you guys, BtW....?
TaraMaiden Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 I figured.... Both way too young to consider this the be-all-and-end all. And (I know I say this a lot, so forgive the repetitiveness, old-timers!) believe it or not, as teens, your brains haven't actually finished completely forming yet, so your rationale and decisions are still in their 'young' stages. She wants to have her freedom and explore other avenues, options and gain different experiences. And frankly, I don't blame her. You should agree to do the same. Hell, you should encourage it. 1
CherryT Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Good for you bjjstar, It's clear that she likes you, I would just go for it in your relationship. Dont worry that she says she doesn't know what she wants in a husband, no one ever does. You don't get to pick who you fall in love with sometimes, life doesn't work that way. You usually end up falliing for someone you'd never thought you would. Just keep going for her and you see over time that her ideals in a husband start matching who you are! She told you that her next relationship will be with her husband, that's what she's looking for. She hasn't found that yet - whether in you or someone else. She likes you but she's not jumping the gun to be in a relationship with you. That's pretty clear... I guess you can keep trying, despite what she's already told you. She said she doesn't want to date but her next relationship will be with her future husband. What she means is "I want my next relationship to be with my husband and I don't feel like dating right now. But if that right person comes around, I'd be open to it. You're around, but I'm not interested. So I don't want to date right now. Which really is... I don't want to exclusively date you, right now.". You cannot force someone to be with you and she's getting her cake and eating it to. Because she's getting something out of it without the commitment. It sounds like YOU want that commitment, so go find it. Might not be with this girl... but know what you want and go after it. Maybe then she'll realize you have a standard and that you're not just going to take what you can get and that you actually want something out of this and if she's not willing to give it to you, you'll find it somewhere else.
justwhoiam Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Have you ever seen Pretty Woman? She was waiting for someone to propose to her and the right way. You're not that guy. That guy will: propose to her, and at the right time, the right way. If you have those three requirements, and she's attracted to you, you have a good chance to be the one. Now, that said, don't rush things. Get to learn what she likes and dislikes. See if you can be her man. But also, would she be a good wife for you? To be a good wife she needs to: - be extremely in love and see you through loving eyes - value who you are and what you do - have strong sexual attraction/chemistry with you - be caring and affectionate - love the idea of being a family (possibly love children and be ready to have any). If she can cook, doesn't smoke, doesn't waste money around or doesn't have a shopping addiction, doesn't flirt with the first guy passing by, that's a plus. You're both very young, so you should both date other people and wait at least 2 or 3 years before settling down. If you add college to that, then you'd have to wait some more, so that you're both financially independent. Good luck 1
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