shutta300 Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 My gf of 8 months broke up with me a month ago. Since then I have been depressed and having a really hard time coping with it. This was my first serious relationship and I felt she was going to be in my life forever. To make things even more depressing I'm 27 just went back to school and living back home with my parents. I feel like I have no chance in finding someone else that would want to date me. Probably just think I'm a loser. To me there is no meaning to live anymore and I've been having some thoughts of suicide. My life has been in a downward spiral for a long time til she came into my life then things changed and I was happy. Now that she's gone I feel even worse then before. I don't know what else to do. I know people are gonna say I'm stupid for feeling like this and that ill find someone or there's plenty of fish in the sea. I don't believe that stuff and that I had my shot at being happy and i blew it.. She already is dating someone else so I feel like I meant nothing. I'm sorry for this being so long but I wanted to write out what I'm feeling.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Well let's sit at home and cry about it. That will make the next 6 months fly by and improve your situation not at all. Or, you can pretend you're a grown up and learn from this. Why did she break up with you? Why do you live at home? Why do you feel like a loser? Answer those then act on them to make sure that in 6 months, 6 years or 6 decades you don't make the same decisions/actions that put you in this situation. 1
Renard99 Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 I know it's hard but you really need to change your thinking. Nobody has called you a loser. None of us here think you're a loser because we're all here for the same reason, yet you've labelled yourself one. Why? Secondly, stop believing you only have one shot in life. That's just silly. You're saying that out of a world full of billions of people, you have already met the only one that will be any good for you and the only one that would be attracted to you. How do you know this, have you met everyone in the world? Plenty of people, me included, have gone on to meet someone else, so how do you know that you never will? One more thing. Don't think that just because you're 27 that you're 'past it' like you make yourself out to be. My ex dumped me after 7 years together. I was 27 at the time. Two years later, I'm 29, I have an awesome new girlfriend, a place of our own and I'm actually more happy now that I have ever been........ ......... again, tell me why you know this will never ever happen to you?
The Tallest One Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 The notion that this was your one shot and you blew it is absurd! I didn't even meet my ex wife till I was 27 and wasn't married till 32! I have met many women since marriage ended and at 43 I'm still meeting and falling in love! It's all about your attitude! I have had to move in with my mom while I went through bankruptcy and I don't feel like a loser! Sometimes we make a mess of our lives but then we man up and decide to turn things around and not repeat past mistakes! You will get through this, trust me, if I can move on after a twelve year relationship with ex wife, you can too! If your feeling suicidal, call a prevention hotline or speak to parents, friends, or go to emergency room and speak to crisis counsellor! Hang in there, be patient and good to yourself and this will pass, I promise!
TheDovic Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Personally I think it's ok to feel the way you're feeling, because we all did at one point. (well most of the people on here) But if there is one thing I've learned in this life is that EVERYTHING changes. Flowers shrivel and die no matter how beautiful they may have been, good moods give way to anxiety and depression (and vice versa), the hottest girl you know will become old and shriveled, food goes out of date etc etc. Seriously, try and think of one thing that stays the same forever!! My point here is that if everything in this world changes then why would your mood be the exception??????????? Therefore it's ok to feel how you are feeling, because like everything it will change in time! In the meantime it helps to write down how you're feeling. It's proven that naming the emotion you are experiencing lessens the activity in the part of your brain which produces that feeling. So when you are feeling like **** talk about it on here. It won't solve your problem there and then, but it will certainly help.
Author shutta300 Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 I know I don't want to feel this way at all but I can't help it. I did love her with all my heart and for once I was happy instead of being miserable. After waiting so long to find someone I loved its just hard for me to get over this. I always was the single person out of all my friends and my younger brothers are both in long term relationships. It is just killing me that this has happened. I know I won't be living at home forever and I know 27 isn't old really but to me it is. In my eyes I should be in a long term relationship and settling down to get married. Instead my life has been all messed up. I'm sorry to hear about all of your problems and I am happy that you can accept and get over them. I wish I could its just getting harder and harder for me. I am glad I can come on here and express what I want to say and people are willing to share their experiences with me. I really am trying to get over this and I hope I can. Right now though I'm just really struggling with it.
blitznfire Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 (edited) You just described my exact feelings at the moment. At least we are not alone man Edited March 21, 2013 by blitznfire
Rebecca1134 Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 I am going through the same thing right now and I feel completely hopeless. I feel deep down in my soul that I will never meet someone else. Ive dated several people and it only made me miss him more. He's moved on, has a new girlfriend, seems perfectly happy. I cant even fathom how thats possible. I feel sick to my stomach every day. This week I barely even left my room, havent eaten, and cant stop crying. We were together 6 years, and were the love of each others life....now hes with a new girl and it just kills me. I feel like my heart has been completely ripped out of my chest and eaten by a rabid dog. I too live at home and I'm 31. I doubt I'll ever meet another guy that gets me the way he did. Im not getting any younger and this is my first true love and first real heartbreak.. I feel like a disgusting piece of crap. Why is he good to her but treated me like such complete ****??? Why does she deserve to be treated well but I didnt??? This is on my mind all day and night, and I cant stop it!!!!!
Renard99 Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 I appreciate that it's very hard to think any other way, but for those of you that think you've had your one chance, you need to try and prove yourself wrong. You can be happy, and I don't just mean with a relationship. You need to do whatever it takes to make you happy, whether that's eating ice cream at 1am or training for a marathon, anything that you would want to do that you know makes you feel that little bit better inside, even if it's only for 5 mins. You need to show yourself the good times in life. You need to remind yourself that they exist, and eventually, and I assure you it will happen, the good times will push out the bad. It all sounds horribly clichéd but I can assure you, it really does work. As for not finding anyone else that will get you in the same way as your ex will, all I will say is what I said before.... there are millions and millions of people out there. More than one will get you. Just think about it, the chances of there only being one person in the world that is right for you, and that that person is in the same city/area as you, and that person actually met you, are absolutely tiny. If you truly believe that then now's the time to buy a lottery ticket. I'm not trying to lecture or force this upon you. Everyone heals at their own rate, but from my own experience I know that the sooner you try to haul yourself out of the negative way of thinking the sooner you can begin on a path to healing. How long it takes from there is down to the individual, but that first step is always the biggest and hardest to do, especially as you brain tries its hardest not to let you. Believe me though, it does get better, you just need to know that it will and focus on that..... it will get you going in the right direction 1
Rebecca1134 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 As for not finding anyone else that will get you in the same way as your ex will, all I will say is what I said before.... there are millions and millions of people out there. More than one will get you. Just think about it, the chances of there only being one person in the world that is right for you, and that that person is in the same city/area as you, and that person actually met you, are absolutely tiny. If you truly believe that then now's the time to buy a lottery ticket. This is genius. Thank you.
Recommended Posts