Buffett Posted September 9, 2004 Posted September 9, 2004 6 weeks ago my partner of 22 years walked out on me and our 2 children for some guy from a chatroom. where do i start, well we had been getting on great both loving to one another, you know lots of cuddling an stuff, getting on really well , though we'd had our ups and downs as any normal couples do over the years. Well i started getting suspicious and started monitoring the use on the internet because she was spending more and more time in the chatroom and these guys names would appear in her msn contact list. 2 weeks before she just walked out i found out that she had met this guy once, then a week later she said she was going out with a friend for the day shopping, i did'nt really believe her so i phoned her and when she answered i could hear she was at a railway station, she said she was getting the train instead of the bus. I let it go, but she did'nt get home until 7pm, she went out before 9am. Though i could'nt prove it i knew she had seen him, and she let something slip about watching big brother, she said she saw something on there a couple of days before but it was 1st time it was shown on telly, but i realised she had watched big brother little brother earlier in the day, obviously at his house. Well it was on the wednesday before she left (on the friday) that i felt she was going cold on me, we had a few words on thursday morning because it was really hard knowing the one i've loved for 22 years has slept with someone else, i said to her that i knew something was wrong and she said the immortal words, "i need some space". Well thursday night she did'nt kiss me or give me a cuddle before going to sleep, well about 6am she rolled over and cuddled me and when i asked why she said she felt like it or wanted to, one or the other. I went to work at 8.30am, at about 10.30am i had a phone call from my daughter saying that mum said could she look after the boy (aged 6) for a minute, she's just popping out.But she had been gone for 45 minutes. When i phoned her she was at the station, she said she was going away for a couple of days and she was not going to her friends, i then told her i knew where she was going and asked her to come home straight away, but she said no she was going to him. I gave her 'til sunday to make a choice and on sunday she chose him over her family and everything, she has virtually shut herself away from everyone including her own family. He is 31 my ex is 41, she says it's the excitement she gets with him. He has no job, lives with his parents and has a criminal record which means he has trouble getting work. Nothing seems to matter to her, she's only just spoke to my daughter for the 1st time in nearly 3 weeks. I've been going through hell for 6 weeks now,i never thought she would cheat on me.I texted her telling her i was missing her like crazy and wanted her to come home and she said that even if it don't work out she don't think she'll come back home,i was gutted, i just don't understand her behaviour and she does'nt realise how much she has hurt me, one day i'm fine the next i'll be in tears and evenings and nights are very hard. I just know she's making a big mistake. I did tell her that the door will remain open for 6 months but i'm not so sure now, i've had a lot of time to think about it. I'm now having no contact with her at all except by email, because whenever i talk to her or see her it just brings me right back to square one and i spend half the night crying and wondering why and how all this came about. All thats left for me to do now is sit back and wait to see if it all falls apart with them. I don't know what else to do now. Sorry it's so long
supermom Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 Someday she will see the error of her ways. Not only will she have to deal with the hurt she caused you, but her daughter as well. Your daughter will not forget this. She will realize and then it will be too late. You will realize that you can do it without her. If she did come back, you'd end up worrying about this happening again anyway. She should lose it all. Just like she's lost her mind. Good luck to you and your children.
JumpRun Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 My thoughts and prayers are with you and your little ones.
Merin Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 I'm so sorry. It sound like to me your wife is going through some kind of a mid life crisis. Not that this helps you any, just an opinion. This guy brings her excitment right now, BUT how exciting is it going to be when SHE has to go to work to support his sorry butt and SHE has to go down to bail his butt outta jail when he gets into trouble. Wow, should be REALLY exciting for her when the next "online lover" comes on over to this guys house while she is at work trying to support her new and exciting boyfriend and she finds out, whoo hoo watch the excitment unfold then. Right now she thinks the grass is greener but that is because she went in the yard in the dark and didn't see all of the dog crap in the yard for her to pick up. Sad thing is there was a BIG SIGN on the front door she walked into that said "BEWARE OF THE DOG" Again, I am so very sorry for you and your kiddos, i'm sure you are devastated as well as your children being so confused. There will come a time (not to long from now i'm willing to bet) that your wife will be on your front door step hoping to God you will give her another chance. Best thing to do right now, is sit tight and take care of yourself and your kids.
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