StanMusial Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Girls respond to social interaction like that because they like it. They get off on gossip and chatting and blah blah blah. Guys are more action oriented. Remember the playground in sixth grade? While me and my buddies played football, the girls were sitting under the trees talking about god knows what. Its just the way things work. 3
Woggle Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Some women are just obsessed with social status and all that high school crap. Most grow out of it eventually.
GravityMan Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 This is why I believe that guys who do not have a social circle of friends and acquaintances should not be dating women. You don't have to be popular or the "life of the party", but social status DOES matter. Social competence matters, as well as the guy's ability to be fun and be himself in a variety of situations including in a group of friends. Many women like well-connected men. It is a red flag and possibly a dealbreaker to most people of either gender if you don't have friends or otherwise seem awkward in social situations. Those are problems that one should have dealt with while they were still kids.
Woggle Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 I can socialize just fine but I don't give a damn about being with the in crowd. I left that crap back in high school and even then I didn't care about it. I have always been my own person. 1
KungFuJoe Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Flip it around...would you want to date a girl who was a social misfit? I know I wouldn't. Watching the way my wife interacts with our friends can be a real turn on. We're always cracking jokes at lightspeed and I've had some female friends/women I've been with not be able to keep up...and I hate having to always explain what we're talking about or worry that they might be offended with the subject matter (which can get pretty "dirty"). Not only does my wife keep up, she's probably the nastiest of us all and no subject matter phases her. I still remember having dinner with a bunch of my friends at a pretty nice seafood restaurant and my female friend sitting across from us accidentally squirted herself with a lemon she was squeezing and she said, "Oh crap, it got all over my face" and without missing a beat, my wife says, "I thought you liked getting it all over your face". 2
Author MrCastle Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 Flip it around...would you want to date a girl who was a social misfit? I know I wouldn't. Watching the way my wife interacts with our friends can be a real turn on. We're always cracking jokes at lightspeed and I've had some female friends/women I've been with not be able to keep up...and I hate having to always explain what we're talking about or worry that they might be offended with the subject matter (which can get pretty "dirty"). Not only does my wife keep up, she's probably the nastiest of us all and no subject matter phases her. I still remember having dinner with a bunch of my friends at a pretty nice seafood restaurant and my female friend sitting across from us accidentally squirted herself with a lemon she was squeezing and she said, "Oh crap, it got all over my face" and without missing a beat, my wife says, "I thought you liked getting it all over your face". Would I want to date a social misfit? Not at all, but let's not jump to extremes here as we often do on LS. There is a healthy medium where most of us lie between social outcast and social stud. I can live with a girl who was socially average. When I go out with a girl and her friends, I don't want to jump her bones any more harder because I saw how funny and silly she gets when she is around her friends. Nor do I find myself attracted to the most socially able woman in her group. But when I'm with my buds and a girl is around, they seem to get a lot more touchy feely with me, and the next day rave about how fun it is to hang with me and my bros. I feel like it takes their attraction up a notch, whereas when roles are reversed, her interactions with her friends does nothing for me.
xxoo Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 When I go out with a girl and her friends, I don't want to jump her bones any more harder because I saw how funny and silly she gets when she is around her friends. Nor do I find myself attracted to the most socially able woman in her group. But when I'm with my buds and a girl is around, they seem to get a lot more touchy feely with me, and the next day rave about how fun it is to hang with me and my bros. I feel like it takes their attraction up a notch, whereas when roles are reversed, her interactions with her friends does nothing for me. What does make you want to jump a woman's bones harder? Is it more "fair" or "understandable" than this?
Author MrCastle Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 What does make you want to jump a woman's bones harder? Is it more "fair" or "understandable" than this? Honestly? When she shows the capacity to be different. When there is more to her than meets the eye. 3
xxoo Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Honestly? When she shows the capacity to be different. When there is more to her than meets the eye. Good answer! I was totally expecting to read: A big butt 4
ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Would I want to date a social misfit? Not at all, but let's not jump to extremes here as we often do on LS. There is a healthy medium where most of us lie between social outcast and social stud. I can live with a girl who was socially average. When I go out with a girl and her friends, I don't want to jump her bones any more harder because I saw how funny and silly she gets when she is around her friends. Nor do I find myself attracted to the most socially able woman in her group. But when I'm with my buds and a girl is around, they seem to get a lot more touchy feely with me, and the next day rave about how fun it is to hang with me and my bros. I feel like it takes their attraction up a notch, whereas when roles are reversed, her interactions with her friends does nothing for me. Attraction works differently for different people. When in certain social groups, you will find people are socially inclined when it comes to attraction. It will vary as you meet people. Learned this when studying Astrology
StanMusial Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 This is why I believe that guys who do not have a social circle of friends and acquaintances should not be dating women. You don't have to be popular or the "life of the party", but social status DOES matter. Social competence matters, as well as the guy's ability to be fun and be himself in a variety of situations including in a group of friends. Many women like well-connected men. It is a red flag and possibly a dealbreaker to most people of either gender if you don't have friends or otherwise seem awkward in social situations. Those are problems that one should have dealt with while they were still kids. I agree with this. You have to learn to crawl before you learn to walk. If you happen to be good-looking you can get by in the dating world because plenty of girls will date you but you will most likely struggle to maintain a relationship.
Author MrCastle Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 Good answer! I was totally expecting to read: A big butt Well, I mean. Yeah, that too. Btw: I love my reputation on this site. People know
KungFuJoe Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Would I want to date a social misfit? Not at all, but let's not jump to extremes here as we often do on LS. There is a healthy medium where most of us lie between social outcast and social stud. I can live with a girl who was socially average. When I go out with a girl and her friends, I don't want to jump her bones any more harder because I saw how funny and silly she gets when she is around her friends. Nor do I find myself attracted to the most socially able woman in her group. But when I'm with my buds and a girl is around, they seem to get a lot more touchy feely with me, and the next day rave about how fun it is to hang with me and my bros. I feel like it takes their attraction up a notch, whereas when roles are reversed, her interactions with her friends does nothing for me. Well...all I'm saying is that, for me, it's a big deal and a definite turn on if a woman can handle herself, socially. She has to be funny, smart, a LOT dirty, have tact, and not make herself look stupid. I'm actually pretty picky when it comes to how a woman handles herself socially...probably extremely picky...as I've turned women down or found myself less attracted to them if they did something that I deemed awkward or annoying. It really comes down to who you are. Just like if you're a person that likes to party and drink a lot...you'll prefer someone who does as well. And if you just like to sit at home and do something quiet, then you won't want to be with someone who wants to go out every night and get smashed.
grkBoy Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 I just feel like women place a lot of value on men who can be the life of the party and I'm not entirely sure why. I understand it shows the girl you can have a good time and all that stuff, but still, this seems more important to women than men. It's the extrovert ideal. Many women, in fact much of society, has been lead to believe that only extroverts can be "top quality men" or "alpha male" as some like to term it. Many women hate loners, social recluses, and introverts. They don't want the guy who sits at home watching a movie or reading a book, but the guy who has a fun circle of friends and is outgoing. They want excitement, not a "settled down" life until the wedding. I consider myself an introvert, but I had to learn to handle myself in social situations. I'll joke with cashiers, chat with strangers on the elevator, and even be able to hold conversations at social gatherings. Still, I could tell many women didn't like that I preferred staying in or doing some kind of interesting daytime thing over going out to bars and clubs til the wee hours of the morning. It sucks that society treats introversion as a disease, but funnier when the women who chase extroverts later complain how their man won't settle down or even commit. Or she's ready for marriage/kids but he still loves going out partying every weekend. 2
xxoo Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Well, the big butt. It's just attractive to you, right? It has nothing to do with who she is at core, but it makes you attracted. Women are similarly attracted to certain traits, and this is one of them. 2
kaylan Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 It just boggles me how many times women say "I want to meet your friends!" or ask me to tell them stories about the adventures my friends and I have. It should be about who I am. Not my friends or what I do with them/how I interact with them. I dunno, Ive dated both kinds of women. Girls who were life of the party, well known...vs girls who were more inclusive when we went out, focusing mostly on her and I. While both are cool, I definitely like a girl who will be the life of the party with me, and interact a lot with me, my friends, and new people around us. Ive noticed guys are more drawn to those women as well. They just seem fun.
carhill Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 I've also had several situations where women get more turned on when they're hanging out with me and some of my friends and they get to see how I act in their presence. I'm usually goofy and whatnot, as I'm not trying to impress my friends or look cool or anything. But if I'm goofy when it's just me and her, I don't get the same feedback. OP, I'm curious. In those examples, after experiencing you in the group and getting positive feedback and attraction exhibited, are you saying feedback and attraction decrease when you and the lady are solo? Building upon my prior posting, I think there are two factors at work where social situations turn chicks on, both relevant to emotional stimulation. 1. You're there. She's there. All of that 'people energy' is washing over her and she likes it. 2. She experiences you herding that energy, feeding it and feeding off of it and that stimulates her more. Your aura grows. You become the most interesting man in the world When you're alone, both aspects are missing. Withdrawal occurs. It can even be annoying to some women, generally those more 'addicted' (for lack of a better word) to emotional stimulation. You can become, relatively speaking, boring. The good news is each woman is different and not all women are directed by the same energies. Their ball of wire processes things differently. TBH, I've met the gamut. Some jones for the social high. To others, it's overwhelming and they prefer one on one time. My exW was in the middle somewhere. My personal observation was that she swung more to the social stimulation side around ovulation but that is only one anecdote. Good luck.
Pompeii Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 My exW was in the middle somewhere. My personal observation was that she swung more to the social stimulation side around ovulation but that is only one anecdote. Good luck. Ovulation can really throw a guy who doesn't know anything about women off the horse, metaphorically speaking. I have heard that women are more attracted to dominant men during ovulation, more muscular men. Basically guys considered "alpha males". If she's gonna cheat on a guy, it's the window right before or during ovulation. If you're not that guy, then you better be looking out for any signs of strange behavior during that period. One of my friend's girlfriends resented him strongly during her period because he wasn't the type of guy she was strongly attracted to during that period. For a guy that stumbles into a relationship, he'll wonder why his girlfriend cheated on him (if he even finds out). That's why I fear if I ever have a girlfriend, she'll just cheat on me because I'm not a dominant guy. Good luck for sure. We're all gonna need it.
SJC2008 Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 All this talk about socially awkward, social misfits and the countless mentioning of social skills (although not in this thread) makes it seem like yall think there are tons of socially awkward people out there as if "normal" people are in the minority or something. Whait is socially awkward anyway?
Author MrCastle Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 OP, I'm curious. In those examples, after experiencing you in the group and getting positive feedback and attraction exhibited, are you saying feedback and attraction decrease when you and the lady are solo? Building upon my prior posting, I think there are two factors at work where social situations turn chicks on, both relevant to emotional stimulation. 1. You're there. She's there. All of that 'people energy' is washing over her and she likes it. 2. She experiences you herding that energy, feeding it and feeding off of it and that stimulates her more. Your aura grows. You become the most interesting man in the world When you're alone, both aspects are missing. Withdrawal occurs. It can even be annoying to some women, generally those more 'addicted' (for lack of a better word) to emotional stimulation. You can become, relatively speaking, boring. The good news is each woman is different and not all women are directed by the same energies. Their ball of wire processes things differently. TBH, I've met the gamut. Some jones for the social high. To others, it's overwhelming and they prefer one on one time. My exW was in the middle somewhere. My personal observation was that she swung more to the social stimulation side around ovulation but that is only one anecdote. Good luck. I wouldn't say it decreases. I think it takes the attraction up a notch. Like if she is a 10 on the attracted scale, she takes it up to an 11. It puts them on a temporary high. Granted, I am the leader of my social circle, so maybe it has to do with the ability to lead. At the same time, I lead when it's one on one, so I don't get why she wouldn't have that same reaction in a one on one situation. Perhaps I'm looser and more relaxed when I'm with my friends as opposed to one on one scenarios? Maybe that plays a part.
veggirl Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 I've never wanted the life of the party type of man. That wouldn't impress me, in fact it'd turn me off as I'd look at it as a sign he requires too much external validation. I prefer subtle cool Its good to see a guy around his friends cause it does show you a different side of him much of the time...some guys are pleasant and awesome one on one and mega douches around their friends, like they turn into obnoxious frat boys or something. But I've never been impressed by a guy having lots of friends. I guess some girls might look at it as he is more desirable, look at all these people who like him, wow I really got a catch!
Divasu Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 When someone is the 'life of the party', it is entertainment. It would explain why soap opera's main audience, are women... All-in-all, most people interact with one another differently in a group setting versus one-on-one. There's several theories around it: Psychology of Groups in Psychology 101 at AllPsych Online Crowd psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Author MrCastle Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 I've never wanted the life of the party type of man. That wouldn't impress me, in fact it'd turn me off as I'd look at it as a sign he requires too much external validation. I prefer subtle cool Its good to see a guy around his friends cause it does show you a different side of him much of the time...some guys are pleasant and awesome one on one and mega douches around their friends, like they turn into obnoxious frat boys or something. But I've never been impressed by a guy having lots of friends. I guess some girls might look at it as he is more desirable, look at all these people who like him, wow I really got a catch! Well that's the thing, one on one, hell, overall, I am a "subtle cool", not unlike the man in my avatar, of whom I've soaked up several traits from. But when I'm with my friends, I'm a lot goofier and funnier. My humor for the most part is based on sarcasm/wit but when I'm with my friends, it's more immature. Dick jokes and whatnot. And girls are eating this up. I thought they wanted the cool guy. But they take a liking to the sillier side of me--at least in moderation. I don't know how my dating life would fare if I was always that guy.
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