IAmRobot Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 For anyone who's read my thread seriess... So finally after sleeping and kind of seeing each other for more than 8 months, I got the guts to ask her what she wanted out of this. She being very shy and afraid kept getting the question back at me. I finally told her I wanted to be her bf. She was flattered. She said I better not disappoint her and that it really just depended on me. She now txts me throughout the day about what she's doing / what I'm doing and calls me before she goes to sleep. I find it very cute, but honestly sometime I feel like I/we run out of things to talk about... Being it my first relationship I'm really confused as to the amount of time we're supposed to see each others, boundaries we're supposed to maintain (i.e flirting with girls/guys, giving you # to other people, etc) and amount of txt/phone contact. Any tips/ideas?
Djz05 Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 The thing with relationships, its not really the same for everyone. What works for you two might not necessarily apply. The important thing I've noticed is communication. Let her know what your expectations are, and same goes for her expectations. Congrats and good luck
PogoStick Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 How old are you? Seems younger girls are into texting all the time and keep constant contact. I see girls post on LS who are freaked because a guy has taken 8 hours to respond! "Like OMG why isn't he taking time during work to give me attention?" Much different than what I grew up with. I think it's too much and leaves you without anything to discuss when you get together. I do almost no random texting with the girl I'm dating. We usually meet just once a week and then we have a whole week of things to talk about. It would be fine to see and communicate more than once a week, but having a day or two in between would be a good balance. 1
Author IAmRobot Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 Thanks for the reply guys. Yeah, I mean for me it's fine, I ll always answer her txts / phone calls, but I really don't wanna work too much to keep the billionth conversation going.
Author IAmRobot Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 The important thing I've noticed is communication. Let her know what your expectations are, and same goes for her expectations. True. I'd say she's a bit bad on the communication part, so I'm doing 120% of the work on that. Which I don't mind. She's more reserved, excpects me to know what goes on in her mind kind of person
hppr Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 I find it very cute, but honestly sometime I feel like I/we run out of things to talk about... Men only call when we have something to talk about, women will call up for no reason other than to hear your voice. They need that emotional connection. Perfectly normal.
Author IAmRobot Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 Men only call when we have something to talk about, women will call up for no reason other than to hear your voice. They need that emotional connection. Perfectly normal. Thanks! This makes me understand a lot. I guess I ll have to do some of the calling too since I'm sure she's gonna hate to always initiate.
AverageCat Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Just take it as it comes. Don't think too much of it. As long as there's mutual care, chances are everything s gonna turn out fine
pbjbear Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Thanks! This makes me understand a lot. I guess I ll have to do some of the calling too since I'm sure she's gonna hate to always initiate.\ Men arent emotional creatures and dont really care about that stuff. When they do act like they care its an ACT not genuine. You calling her because otherwise she will complain is not genuine caring. Once that hard reality set in, that guys dont give a **** about emotional connection, I have been much happier single
SJC2008 Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 \ Men arent emotional creatures and dont really care about that stuff. When they do act like they care its an ACT not genuine. You calling her because otherwise she will complain is not genuine caring. Once that hard reality set in, that guys dont give a **** about emotional connection, I have been much happier single Yet women dish out the pussy to these guys like nobodys business and the good men are left with blue balls. Somethings not adding up here? 1
pbjbear Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Yet women dish out the pussy to these guys like nobodys business and the good men are left with blue balls. Somethings not adding up here? No good man in my presence has been left with blue balls. Very very few good guys left. Most men in my age group today dont have the compassion, emotional depth and a lack of self centeredness Im looking for. And no, I aint looking for some pussy weak boy either.
SJC2008 Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) No good man in my presence has been left with blue balls. Very very few good guys left. Most men in my age group today dont have the compassion, emotional depth and a lack of self centeredness Im looking for. And no, I aint looking for some pussy weak boy either. Well that's the main part of the problem IMO. Women say they want men with emotional depth but at the first sign of a man being vulnerable they lose respect for him. You can't have your cake and it it too. I'm a very affectionate man, I like to hold hands, cuddle etc. I'm not a cryer but have cried a few times in adulthood over tradegdies, one being the death of my fater. Will you embrace your man during a tradgedy and if he cries are you going to think he's a pussy? I think your window is very small PJ. I think you want a bad ass with a soft side, one that you have to pull out of him. One that he needs to show when you want him to show it now when he needs to show it. Edited March 22, 2013 by SJC2008 add
Author IAmRobot Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 I think your window is very small PJ. I think you want a bad ass with a soft side, one that you have to pull out of him. One that he needs to show when you want him to show it now when he needs to show it. ME ME ME! Lol. I was such a badass before I met my current gf. And then she completely melted me. True story. And I see how that is so attractive to girls... When you know a guy is not giving that side of himself and that kind of attention to anyone else...... you probably feel very special. But I will disagree with pbj that guys can't have an emotional connection... IMO what happens is that every guy is born human, but soon enough either by watching their peers, parents, or by failing themselves, they realize that "emotional connection" just doesn't work to get girls........ Therefore they turn the bar upside down and go to being your "unemotional jerks who are just looking to **** you".... just because that's what society taught them and that's what partially works. I passed those 2 phases and I think I'm a genuine masculine guy. I won't overreach emotionally, but I will care where care is needed. I do care about my girl. And I like talking to her. And calling your girl if she needs that attention is genuine caring IMO.
creighton0123 Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Talk to her about texting so much. Tell her that you want less communication over texting and more communication face to face. You're going to burn yourself out on texting and develop resentment every time you feel obligated to respond. Texting is no way to communicate about things other than fluff or specific details.
pbjbear Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 (edited) Well that's the main part of the problem IMO. Women say they want men with emotional depth but at the first sign of a man being vulnerable they lose respect for him. You can't have your cake and it it too. I'm a very affectionate man, I like to hold hands, cuddle etc. I'm not a cryer but have cried a few times in adulthood over tradegdies, one being the death of my fater. Will you embrace your man during a tradgedy and if he cries are you going to think he's a pussy? I think your window is very small PJ. I think you want a bad ass with a soft side, one that you have to pull out of him. One that he needs to show when you want him to show it now when he needs to show it. I have never ever been turned off by a guy doing that. Ever. Not lying. Ill take a lie detector test. I would be turned off if a guy acted that way ALL the time or the vast majority of the time, sure. Same for women. I dont like women that emotional all the time either. Very few guys show the level of emotion that I look for. Most men today act like dumb robots or are emotionally retarded. Men arent by nature sensitive, emotional or caring creatures the way (most) women are. If a guy is born that way, society squashes it out of them. They are selfish and egotistical however. Theres a reason studies show married men tend to be happier than single men but the opposite is true for women. Women have emotional needs and men are clueless about how to fulfill them but yet men get theirs fulfilled. I cannot pull out a soft side when they dont have a soft side to begin with. Very few guys have a soft side that is bigger than a gummyworm Edited March 23, 2013 by pbjbear
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