Own Worst Enemy Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I was doing so well until he contacted me bang on the 6 week NC mark. We then had a furious exchange of emails, which eventually culminated in him saying he would "always be desperate" to be friends and my saying that we couldn't be friends. He also said he had missed me every single day, that he missed having me to talk to, to tell everything to, that I was still his best friend. I took this as: He's kidding himself if he thinks that's just friendship, but I am kidding myself if I think it's more than that. So we drew a line under it. 2 days later he texted to say that there was a party I might like in April, but if I wanted him to leave me alone, I should say so. Way to put the pressure on me! Anyway I was out drinking, and replied, and that was the slippery slope. We spent the next month texting and emailing like bestest friends, and had a couple of great days out together (purely platonic - that's the problem!). Eventually I sent a text on Monday, saying that we were slipping right back to where we couldn't be, and that I would leave him alone, but I must admit I left the door open a bit. He didn't reply to that, but yesterday I got a rather curt text inviting me out this weekend, followed by a couple of other equally cold texts. I feel I've made enormous progress. I am 10% as sad as I have been; I can genuinely see the flaws in this guy now; I have 3 first dates lined up for next week and am actually quite excited about one of them. But this is messing with my head. Silence, particularly silence instigated by me, felt good. Him emailing me all the time felt good (in totally the wrong way of course). But him emailing me short terse messages feels awful. If he thinks I am right, why bother inviting me out at all? Why does he want to go with me? And he didn't even wait 24 hours after I emailed to say, let's not keep in touch unless there's a good reason. He could have waited a couple of days at least. But if he still wants to try and cling onto the "friendship", why be cold? It's the first time he's ever acted like this - it's either been silence or it's been him trying to restore the status quo. This coldness is making me shiver. I know it's gotta go, that's not up for debate here. I do think i'm getting to the point of being able to do that. I'm a zillion times better than I was 3 months ago. This is just f*cking with my head tonight, so I'm typing it out to see if reading it makes me feel any clearer! And..... it hasn't..........
Author Own Worst Enemy Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 Honestly! It's so transparently obvious now that I want to read something into why he doesn't seem to want to let go. I can see that at last.
cavalier99 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 (edited) Honestly! It's so transparently obvious now that I want to read something into why he doesn't seem to want to let go. I can see that at last. I'm confused. What can you see at last? That he is just using you for emotional support and doesn't want back together? (Because you don't have the body type he desires lol Ill take you on a date if you move to the states. Loved the pic you posted that time Edited March 20, 2013 by cavalier99
Author Own Worst Enemy Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 That difference between hearing something and actually meaning it for yourself - it only comes with time. And in my case, 137 b1tch slaps to the face. Ha thank you. That has seriously made my night! 1
Am4Real Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Honestly! It's so transparently obvious now that I want to read something into why he doesn't seem to want to let go. I can see that at last. O.W.E: Knowing the person you have not 100% broken ties with or "gotten over" is dating and will potentially replace the "instigator" supports the type of behaviors you are describing. Good luck with your dates -- go slowly! All the best, Am4Real
Author Own Worst Enemy Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 the last thing i want is for him to be pleased for me! i'd rather just say nothing. well, i should be saying nothing fullstop really, i do know that
cavalier99 Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 Good morning beutiful! :lmao: ha i just woke up and saw your post and figured id give you another ego boost. wait you in Great Britian i think.. hmmmm minus...i mean plus 5 hours ..or is it 7???? good lunch? G*d im soo confused. Going to sleep again. Cav
Author Own Worst Enemy Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 thank you. hope you got back to sleep and slept the sleep of the just...
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