HopingAgain Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 "The more you pull away, the more they pursue." How true do you think this saying is? I first heard it from a Pastors Wife (of all people!) years ago. Since Dday and me pulling away to sort out my own feelings and protect myself, Im finding it particularly true for WH.
NotCamelot Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 It kind of follows another old saying, "People always want what they can't have." I know it's true - from experience. I don't think I ever wanted my wife more than on D-day. Sad, but true. (Thank God, I got her, and will keep her!) 1
BetrayedH Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I think there's some real truth there. A similar expression (if I have it right) is, They can't come towards you if you're always chasing them.
leonine Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I think there's a lot of truth to this. I didn't get much attention from my husband until I became more distant. He started to miss the support and affection that he had taken for granted for many years and stepped up his game to get it back.
Poppy fields Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 No, when I pulled away from my husband I did so in a manner where him wanting to pursue me was the probably last think on his agenda. I made it crystal clear that would not be an option and I messed a few things up for him that would have removed any fleeting thoughts of reconciliation from his mind.
underwater2010 Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 In a way yes. He is more tuned into me thinking something is wrong. As far as physically...at first yes but I think he is unsure now.
drifter777 Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 "The more you pull away, the more they pursue." How true do you think this saying is? I first heard it from a Pastors Wife (of all people!) years ago. Since Dday and me pulling away to sort out my own feelings and protect myself, Im finding it particularly true for WH. One partner is pulling away and the other pursuing at all times in every relationship. The roles switch back and forth, but it is simply the way things are. This behavior is a fact of human nature and human relationships. 3
Spark1111 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 in long term relationships, it is called the intimacy dance and it is perfectly normal because one supports fully when the other is in need and then...it switches. A mutual back and forth based on trust and confidence. This is NOT the grass is greener syndrome or wanting and appreciating what you always had ONLY when it has a suitcase packed and is walking out the door because you have acted like a complete d&$k....that's different and reeks of emotional immaturity. Can that person mature? Yes, but they really have to be motivated to change and grow up. And that's a risk for their partner. 1
seibert253 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 For years, I did everything for my FWW. My sole purpose in our M was make her life easy. After I started the 180 and began detaching,she literly could not function. She did not eeven know the pin number on her debit card, so she could not get cash. The more I pulled away, the more she chased.
Spark1111 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 For years, I did everything for my FWW. My sole purpose in our M was make her life easy. After I started the 180 and began detaching,she literly could not function. She did not eeven know the pin number on her debit card, so she could not get cash. The more I pulled away, the more she chased. yeah.....go figure.
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