shatteredworld Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 It's been 5 weeks since the break up and 2 since I started NC. He cheated on me and you'd think by now I would already want nothing to do with him, but I just can't stop loving him. I want him back so bad but he doesn't want me anymore. Life without him is just miserable and every day seems like a year. I secretly keep on hoping that tomorrow will be the day when he realizes what he lost and come running back to me. I just miss him so much as much as I'm trying to move on.
geegirl Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 You don't want a cheater. Trust me. Life would be more miserable being with a cheater because you'll never be able to stop looking over your shoulder. It's only been 2 weeks of NC. It's normal to feel this way and still love him but in time you'll be able to see him for what he is and accept things for the way it all turned out.
Foxy Brown Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Hi, shattered. I wanted to give you some encouragement. Keep up with the NC. I'm coming up on 2 weeks of NC, too, and it's starting to work for me! Sure, I go through cycles of feeling sad, lonely, angry (sometimes), and dejected, but I'm learning that I can get by on my own. It's not all sunshine and roses, but I'm still here. And so are you. Don't look at it like 2 weeks of doing without; see it as 2 weeks in which you have proven, simply by taking it day to day, that you are getting by without him! Sure, you feel like absolute hell, but you're still here and I think that's a testament to your strength. I hope you're keeping busy and doing things that make you happy. Take care of your mind, body, and spirit. I know you love him, but that doesn't excuse the fact that he's a d-bag who cheated on you. Come on! You deserve more than that! Stop thinking about how much you love him and start loving yourself more. Build yourself back up and you'll be able to look forward to the day when he realizes what he lost, comes running back, and you laugh in his face!
Author shatteredworld Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 The break up was just so complicated, he told me he loved me and he didn't want anyone else. One of the last things he said to me was that I had his heart and he didn't want it back unless we were together. This isn't making it any easier for me to get over the guy when he left it so open . I can only hope I can stop wanting him, even with all the incredible memories I had with him. You're right, he is an ******* for making me feel so bad. I shouldn't love a cheater.
Foxy Brown Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 His words: He loves you. His actions: He cheated. His words: He doesn't want anyone else. His actions: He cheated. His words: You have his heart and he doesn't want it back until you're back together. His actions: He cheated. Something's not matching up. I'm sure you do have incredible memories, but what about the memories of how you felt when he cheated?
Author shatteredworld Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 His words: He loves you. His actions: He cheated. His words: He doesn't want anyone else. His actions: He cheated. His words: You have his heart and he doesn't want it back until you're back together. His actions: He cheated. Something's not matching up. I'm sure you do have incredible memories, but what about the memories of how you felt when he cheated? He made me feel worthless, disrespected, and unimportant. I felt so abandoned and hated. I felt cheated as a person, he promised he would never do that to me, he made me believe he couldn't ever cheat on me. And he was capable of doing this to me while telling me how much he loved me and wanted a future with me. He broke my heart, and then stomped on it. I still feel all these things. I know he doesn't deserve my love.
geegirl Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I've come to learn that people can say anything they want. At some point their words will either match their actions or they won't. Trust is a risk. I was cheated on by two men in my life. It's bad enough you have to deal with the pain from the break-up, but added on, is the sting of betrayal. It's normal to feel all those feelings. You loved with your whole heart and you believed the image he created for you. So, it's understandable that you are still clinging to that and part of your denial is also the inability to fully accept that he could do this to you. But in time, it will settle within and you will accept. And I promise you, you will look back and thank your lucky stars you dodged that bullet. Even if he came back, your relationship will never be the same, moreso for you, than it would be for him.
Am4Real Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 His words: He loves you. His actions: He cheated. His words: He doesn't want anyone else. His actions: He cheated. His words: You have his heart and he doesn't want it back until you're back together. His actions: He cheated. Something's not matching up. I'm sure you do have incredible memories, but what about the memories of how you felt when he cheated? Love the synopsis -- perfect message to anyone confused (me). All the best, Am4Real
Author shatteredworld Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 I've come to learn that people can say anything they want. At some point their words will either match their actions or they won't. Trust is a risk. I was cheated on by two men in my life. It's bad enough you have to deal with the pain from the break-up, but added on, is the sting of betrayal. It's normal to feel all those feelings. You loved with your whole heart and you believed the image he created for you. So, it's understandable that you are still clinging to that and part of your denial is also the inability to fully accept that he could do this to you. But in time, it will settle within and you will accept. And I promise you, you will look back and thank your lucky stars you dodged that bullet. Even if he came back, your relationship will never be the same, moreso for you, than it would be for him. I hope I can be thankful in the future, even more so I hope I can stop loving him. It pains me knowing he clearly has stopped loving me after I let him into my heart.
Am4Real Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I've come to learn that people can say anything they want. At some point their words will either match their actions or they won't. Trust is a risk. I was cheated on by two men in my life. It's bad enough you have to deal with the pain from the break-up, but added on, is the sting of betrayal. It's normal to feel all those feelings. You loved with your whole heart and you believed the image he created for you. So, it's understandable that you are still clinging to that and part of your denial is also the inability to fully accept that he could do this to you. But in time, it will settle within and you will accept. And I promise you, you will look back and thank your lucky stars you dodged that bullet. Even if he came back, your relationship will never be the same, moreso for you, than it would be for him. Another message i needed to hear today. Thank you.
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