Junkshakemail Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Hey guys, A bit of history, we dated for years and we finally took the plunge and got engaged. She is an amazing woman and we both love each other very much and I dont see my self with any one else.She lives in a different country and she will be moving here after our wedding. Though we havent had sex we have done other things while I was there, but now the distance has come in the way. It getting tough since my hormones are acting up, but she doesn't want to be sexual on the phone or Skype. She says she doesnt like it online but oh boy was it different when we are actually together and she acknowledges that. I know she is not comfortable with cyber but I think we also need that connection in a relationship. I spoke to her about it and said she is not comfortable with doing any thing online or talking dirty but promises it would be different when we are actually together.... Any help is appreciated
CarrieT Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Sorry, but I don't blame her... There are so many stories of women being filmed and when (if) a relationship ends, those images end up online. Even in the confines of an engagement, while I might engage in something verbal, I wouldn't allow images that could otherwise be compromised. You might swear up and down that you aren't that kind of guy and would never do that, but scorned lovers often do things you would never expect. 3
Author Junkshakemail Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 Thats fair to say that and assume that and I could go on and on about how I am not those kind... But its not only about pictures, she seems not interested in being sexual or talking about it, which is not the case while we r together heck we even fooled around with other ppl in the room and she loved it. May be I just have to tone it down and wait till we r married next year
CarrieT Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 How much time have you actually spent with each other in person? That whole "sex with each other while people are in the room" thing is - I am guessing - exciting, new and considered HONEYMOON sex which only happens during the beginning of a relationship. If she is shutting down sexually now, DO NOT anticipate that it will get better when you get married. You are just seeing her real side now. You will probably have great reunion sex and all that, but read through all the posts of people who's sex lives greatly diminished after a short period of time.
Author Junkshakemail Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 we have had history we know each other for about 10 years, dated for about 4 we never fully broke off but we got back together.. I was thinking the same too may be she is shutting off but she is not like that in person.. thats why I dont get why she is uncomfortable being sexual while in a long distance.
taiko Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 So no cyber, texting or emails. Have you tried snail mail or does she come from a culture where friends and family read others letters and text messages routinely. We got caught sexting once and afterwards it was limited to about a weekly phone sex date along. That along with our homemade films passed the two years away. Your options are to spend the time and money to take another vacation, suck it up and be celebite or masturbate to memories and porn for a year or leave and try to find someone else
Author Junkshakemail Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 We did speak about it and she said she is not comfortable doing any thing online but would not have problem when we r in person. Guess I just have to wait..
LFH Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Does she find talking dirty (in person/phone/email/etc) really awkward? I know some people do. I did for a long time. It used to make me feel like an awkward, sexually repressed, backwards idiot because I couldn't use dirty words or anything. I was just really shy about it and didn't feel comfortable with many of the words associated with it. That could be all it is? Now, I'm still not great at talking dirty, but my innuendo is excellent. Maybe you can ask her if this might be the problem.
Author Junkshakemail Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 I did ask her, all she says is I am not comfortable doing any thing online etc, but has not problem in person (I can vouch for that) Guess just have to wait it out till we are actually together, but hormones are going crazy with out any sexual connection with my fiancee.....
justwhoiam Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 1) When is your wedding? 2) When will she live with you? 3) What does "talking dirty" mean? Can you make a few examples? Sorry for being so slow, but I'm trying to understand what you mean without having to guess. 4) Does she like you getting sexual with her? Or is she annoyed by that? 5) Have you done anything sexual with her with a cam on? Or would it make you uncomfortable unless she's on cam too?
Author Junkshakemail Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 We are getting married next year She will move in with me after the wedding dirty talk mean any thing from talking dirty to being dirty surprisingly she does not get annoyed and likes it when I am horny thinking of her I tried ont he cam but she always stops me
justwhoiam Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 dirty talk mean any thing from talking dirty to being dirty Can you make any examples? surprisingly she does not get annoyed and likes it when I am horny thinking of her Actually, you should be surprised if she were annoyed... as you're about to marry her. I tried ont he cam but she always stops me That might be due to several reasons. She either thinks it's cheap, or she's worried about how she would manage that, or doesn't want you to end up using her... who knows. Maybe her culture plays a role in this. Where's she from? The worst case would be she's just not very sexual, and that in the long run would ruin the relationship because your needs wouldn't be met. A marriage is meant forever, so be cautious before making such a commitment for life.
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