annaliese7193 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Hi guys, I really need your advice/support. I'm not bothered if negative. Just need help! Basically.. I've been with my partner for over 17 months now. It's the first serious relationship I've ever been in so as you can imagine it's quite intense! We see eachother a fair bit, But still do make time for our friends. Anyway. He went to Cancun this morning and I just cant seem to calm down/stop thinking of it. Him and 7 of his friends have gone for Spring break, 5 of whom (Him included) are in relationships, They all maintain the same mantra that they are just going for 'fun'. He is sharing a room with another guy who is in a relationship and says he will contact me 'if/when possible'. Dont get me wrong I dont want him to ring/text me 24/7 it'd just be nice to receive one phone call after the two weeks to know he's safe! Before going I informed him of my insecurities, Of which he knew about vaguely before as I've been cheated on before, He was very calming and reassuring. Saying he would never want to loose me, Wrote me a letter of his feelings informing me to not worry. He also gave me some comforts for when he is away (Necklace his late grandmother gave him, Clothes and aftershave) to cheer me up. He has also asked me to come and meet him at the bus station the day he arrives home, He says he will miss me millions and always calls me Princess. I just cant seem to shake of the doubt/upset though. I do trust him, but not fully. Which I believe comes in time, and I do not trust some of his friends or the girls out there. I feel awful. I'm trying to keep myself busy by being at work, seeing friends/family and cleaning/being productive but this wont go. I feel awful and low! He also went Magaluf last August, And seemingly didn't cheat (I obviously wouldnt of been told if he did!) He seemed quite excited/happy to see me when he came home and was very lovey dovey. I just keep tormenting myself. I dont know what to do! Whats the culture like there? It seems like an easy place to cheat..
Survivor12 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 The simple truth is that whether you spend the next two weeks letting your imagination work overtime or if you choose to accept that you have no control over what he does while away, it will make absolutely no difference in what happens. I used to be scared to death of flying. From the moment of takeoff until the time we were parked at the gate, I was completely focused on nothing besides willing the plane to stay in the sky. I would listen for any unusual noise and watched for any suspicious activity of the flight crew. I couldn't eat, I couldn't read, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even carry on a conversation. For the next day or two afterward, my entire body (even my jaws) would ache from the tension it caused. One day, the plane I was on was hit by lightning. For a few moments (that felt much longer), I thought for sure we were going down. (In fact, we were ascending rapidly as the pilot quickly maneuvered to avoid a thunderstorm.) Ironically, that was the day that I came to realize that regardless of how much I stressed and worried, I had absolutely no control over keeping that plane in the air. Since that day (although I still can't say that I enjoy flying), I have learned to, as they say, "let go & let God"--and the pilots, of course! You are in a similar situation. You have a choice to either stress yourself out about something over which you have no control or let go, relax and accept that the outcome will be the same either way. The bottom line is that my worrying about my plane crashing didn't protect me from it hapoening--or from being hit by a taxi on my way out of the airport. Likewise, worrying about your bf cheating on you while he's away isn't going to stop him whether he's in Mexico or back at home. Relax and enjoy the next couple of weeks.
mammasita Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Spring Break in Cancun is a sex fest. Drunk people wearing little to nothing. I wouldn't be comfortable with that scenario either.
Author annaliese7193 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 Thanks for replying guys. I just feel awful, I don't have the best self esteem as it is.. And too think he is out there with all the gorgeous girls. EUGH! I don't know what I should do?
veggirl Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 There's nothing you can do at this point, he is already gone. Did you say for 2 weeks?!?! Yeah I'd never have agreed to this. If you were so uncomfortable why didn't he invite you or agree to stay home? Its totally understandable that you aren't cool with him on Spring Break in Cancun....anyone who's ever been will tell you the same I'm sorry
Author annaliese7193 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 Hi, Thanks for replying! Yes 2 Weeks.. It's all his lad friends so I wouldnt be welcome. I feel awful
geegirl Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I would feel the same way. Granted I grew up in another country and have no clue as to what goes on, but I've heard enough and seen enough to freak me out if I had a boyfriend going there for two weeks with nothing around him but booze and bikinis. It would be hard for me to trust. I am sorry you have been put in such a situation. There is nothing you can do. Hopefully he keeps in contact with you and it helps to alleviate some of your fears.
Author annaliese7193 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 I don't know if to take the fact he went Magaluf and didnt cheat, and the fact of what he did for me before leaving as a sign he wont. Eugh. 2 Weeks of this..
geegirl Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I don't know if to take the fact he went Magaluf and didnt cheat, and the fact of what he did for me before leaving as a sign he wont. Eugh. 2 Weeks of this.. Speculating will get you nowhere. You just have to ride this one out. I'm sorry. Two weeks will feel like an eternity when you feel this way.
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