Fayebelle Posted September 9, 2004 Posted September 9, 2004 e-mail is so much less threatning- I hope she receives it and considers it honestly.
Author expos Posted November 12, 2004 Author Posted November 12, 2004 It actually worked. I found her address, she wrote me back, and we are now going to meet face to face. I can't believe it! My dream came true. We are going to meet in this upscale pizzeria a couple miles away from my apartment. OK, now the hard part. Should I bring up the fact that I have a son from another relationship on the first date. I don't know how she's might react to this and she might become quick to judge. HELP! ADVICE!
savethedrama4allama Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 I think that having a son is a huge part, probably the biggest part, of your life and you should tell her as soon as it makes sense in your conversation. Might as well be up-front with her, because your son isn't going anywhere. If she's going to judge you then she will do it on the first date just as easily as the 20th date. I would want to know right away since its a huge part of your identity, your responsibilities, and who you are in general. Good luck and thanks for updating us!
Bubbles Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 Yes, you should tell her right away. Meet with her for your date at least make your way into the mean and then find a way of telling her. Everyone deserves the truth and as quickly as possible. My best friend is 30 eyars old and she says that she is not interested in any-one that already has a children. She says that it's not fair to her to have to "cope" with some-one else's past and god forbid a rotton ex-wife that she HAS to communicate with. She wants her own children. I have asked her if maybe that's selfish? But you know what? It's HER decision. So, let your date know upfront about your self. You don't have to go into any details.........if she asks questions.....answer her honestly. Maybe you could bring it up by saying "Gee I was just thinking how 'child name" would enjoy this pizza......maybe not in such a fancy restaurant but I'm sure they would love this Pizza" only a suggestion. You bring it up how you see fit but make sure you bring it up tonight!!! Good Luck and Have Fun Tonight.......I'm happy for you!!! Bubbles
Bubbles Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 Yes, you should tell her right away. Meet with her for your date at least make your way into the mean and then find a way of telling her. Everyone deserves the truth and as quickly as possible. If my fingers could follow along with my brain it would all be good. Yes, you should tell her right away. Mett with her for your date at lease make you way into the MEAL and then find a way of telling her. Everyone deserves the truth and as quickly as possible. I hope that makes better sence! Geesh Bubbles
Author expos Posted November 12, 2004 Author Posted November 12, 2004 I'm not embarassed of my son, I do everything for him and I consider myself a good father. I love the little guy. I just really feel bad. I feel like I'm being selfish that I'm trying to date again and I want great things to happen. I feel that I'm "tainted" and that no women will want to ever date me because they'll see me as dysfunctional....and I couldn't be futher from dyfunctional. I'm saddened and angered that single men with kids are viewed this way. This is such a downer. So, I'll use a cliche' phrase: I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst with this date. She seems so excited to meet me and just haven't told her yet...I'm hating to think I might be letting her down. We haven't met face to face yet...and I've told her nothing about myself really...but I hope you can understand what I'm going through. I feel like I'm TRYING to set myself up for failure.
savethedrama4allama Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 Awww its not like you went to prison for murder a few years back. Cut yourself some slack. There are worse things than having a child in terms of dating! If you are confident and upbeat about your fatherhood role, the chances of her accepting it are even better (and are probably good anyway, if she likes you.) Best of luck!
Bubbles Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 Hold your head up high Man!!!! You make a lot of effort to locate this girl. Now you are acutally going out on a date with her. Stop looking for your own faults! Being a father is not a fault......in my eyes?........It makes you MORE of a MAN! Cheers Buddy........enjoy your evening........have a dam good time! Bubbles
Author expos Posted November 12, 2004 Author Posted November 12, 2004 thanks for your responses...I'll keep what you guys said on a notepad...just to remind myself when I'm down. You wouldn't have believed what it was like to see her name in my Inbox after not getting a response in over three months. I truly thought that somebody was looking out for me. Things like this aren't supposed to happen...and if they do, it's in the movies. The date will be next weekend...I'm waiting for her to write back to confirm. She's already given me her number!!!
Bubbles Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 Good stuff! Be a gentleman......Be yourself - women sniff out fake people very quickly. Behave yourself......not too much drink o.k.? Bubbles
bnakach Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 Hell yeah. Why would it matter if he has kids or not? In what way would that make him a bad person. I would go for it, from my point of view. I my self am a single mother and have a decent job and am a good person, but all I get are jerks.
Author expos Posted November 15, 2004 Author Posted November 15, 2004 I'm trying figure out her excitement about our semi-blind date...I got really nervous and couldn't sleep last night. Some of my thoughts follow: 1) When she writes me emails, they are in "netspeak", which means she abbreviates a good portion of her words. "ur" means "you are". How much, if at all, does this gage a person's intelligence? I'm tired of dating dumb women. If she was trying to make a good impression on me from the beginning, this wasn't the best way. Maybe I'm being too paranoid. 2) This is unreal...what's happening right now. It feels like I'm meeting someone very important/special/somewhat famous in my own world. I've thought about this girl for almost a solid five years and I've never said a word to her or have seen her since 1999. How do I control my emotions and not reveal so much to her? I don't want to scare her away!!! 3) She seems to a have "lively" personality, but she might be this way with everyone. How do I tell during the date that she's genuinely digging me and not just trying to be nice? 4) And here's the tough one. If things go really well...I'm not even sure I want a really close and tight relationship. I want to casually see her...not make any big commitments. I've always been involved in LONG relationships (2-5 years with every girl I've dated and I'm only 25!!!). I kind of want have my space from her...as I think it would be best for me not to get too attached. Yes, I feel a little self-centered here, but long relationships have been very exhausting and tiring. How do I ever convey this type of thing to her without directly saying it to her face?
Recommended Posts