less sexually aggressive men?

[MrCastle]

Woggle makes a good point though in terms of escalation.

 

I think we as a culture have been over sexualized. We're numb to it now. Nothing we hear or see surprises us any more when it comes to sex. At what point does it stop? Is there a breaking point?

 

Some of the responses in this thread about the man's behavior are disappointing at best. Perhaps he has something called class and would rather take things slow instead of rushing into a situation? I mean really.

[Drseussgrrl]

Im all for women not beign shamed for wanting sex and being more sexually free then they used to be but i think its swung way too far in the other direction where women are taught to be overly sexual these days

 

The way i see women act in general and how many times ive had sex on first dates these arent our mothers an grandmothers generation of women

 

Well who are they having sex with?

 

And for your information my mom has been married and divorced twice with kids from each marriage. I have yet to walk down the aisle because I want to end up with the right person.

 

My Grandmother has also been married and divorced twice.

 

Damn right it's not their generation. I'm doing it ONCE.

[Woggle]

Im all for women not beign shamed for wanting sex and being more sexually free then they used to be but i think its swung way too far in the other direction where women are taught to be overly sexual these days

 

The way i see women act in general and how many times ive had sex on first dates these arent our mothers an grandmothers generation of women

 

It's not even about being sexual or sexually free. I am all for that. The issue is that the other component has been removed. Even in the 60s 70s when casual sex was in romance and tenderness were celebrated but these days people act like they are allergic to it. Turn on the radio and listen to see how many romantic songs you hear that are not some kind of sad break up songs. WE are becoming a very cold and impersonal society and this is just one example.

[Drseussgrrl]

Woggle makes a good point though in terms of escalation.

 

I think we as a culture have been over sexualized. We're numb to it now. Nothing we hear or see surprises us any more when it comes to sex. At what point does it stop? Is there a breaking point?

 

Some of the responses in this thread about the man's behavior are disappointing at best. Perhaps he has something called class and would rather take things slow instead of rushing into a situation? I mean really.

 

I find this surprising coming from you, Mr. Castle. You admittedly love sex and women and have no problem with NSA sex because you simply don't want a relationship.

 

Wouldn't you say your attitude toward women is just a by-product of your environment? Sex without love and commitment, which you're a huge proponent of?

[Woggle]

Well who are they having sex with?

 

And for your information my mom has been married and divorced twice with kids from each marriage. I have yet to walk down the aisle because I want to end up with the right person.

 

My Grandmother has also been married and divorced twice.

 

Damn right it's not their generation. I'm doing it ONCE.

 

This I agree with. Men are just as bad. Men used to make good sensual love songs but now they just talk about hotties being DTF in the club or something.

[SteveC80]

It's not even about being sexual or sexually free. I am all for that. The issue is that the other component has been removed. Even in the 60s 70s when casual sex was in romance and tenderness were celebrated but these days people act like they are allergic to it. Turn on the radio and listen to see how many romantic songs you hear that are not some kind of sad break up songs. WE are becoming a very cold and impersonal society and this is just one example.

 

I agree..now its more about 50 shades of grey type of sex then romance

[Drseussgrrl]

This I agree with. Men are just as bad. Men used to make good sensual love songs but now they just talk about hotties being DTF in the club or something.

 

Let me guess Woggle - you think "Puff the Magic Dragon" is really about a boy and his dragon?

[Woggle]

Let me guess Woggle - you think "Puff the Magic Dragon" is really about a boy and his dragon?

 

Not at all but at least they got creative with it instead of saying let's go get high. There are almost no modern love songs these days except for sad break up songs. What stuff is there that celebrates happy and healthy love?

 

Believe me I am not naive sheltered person. From a very young age I have been around things that would make many people blush and honestly the happiest I have been is just having so called boring and sane life.

[MrCastle]

I find this surprising coming from you, Mr. Castle. You admittedly love sex and women and have no problem with NSA sex because you simply don't want a relationship.

 

Wouldn't you say your attitude toward women is just a by-product of your environment? Sex without love and commitment, which you're a huge proponent of?

 

I think we are all affected at some level by the way sex is looked at in today's society. But I'm speaking to the point of the man in OP's story being seen as "less aggressive" because of the way he's handling himself.

 

It's like, so what is "aggressive" nowdays? What is not aggressive?

 

Some men probably want to move fast, but as I said in my first post on page one, maybe fear how they'll be judged.

 

How many threads have we seen where women question the interest level of men because they didn't try to bang her date one. Maybe he wants to but is thinking to himself "well I don't want to seem like that's all I'm interested in so let me back off."

 

I don't think OP's story is thread worthy or worthy of a serious discussion. I don't think it needs to be looked into. The guy is just taking things slow, that's it. I don't think we need to deconstruct the man's psychology as to why this is, question his life and who he is etc etc as has been done in a lot of posts. The man just wants to take things slow. End of.

[Imajerk17]

I think we are all affected at some level by the way sex is looked at in today's society. But I'm speaking to the point of the man in OP's story being seen as "less aggressive" because of the way he's handling himself.

 

It's like, so what is "aggressive" nowdays? What is not aggressive?

 

Some men probably want to move fast, but as I said in my first post on page one, maybe fear how they'll be judged.

 

How many threads have we seen where women question the interest level of men because they didn't try to bang her date one. Maybe he wants to but is thinking to himself "well I don't want to seem like that's all I'm interested in so let me back off."

 

I don't think OP's story is thread worthy or worthy of a serious discussion. I don't think it needs to be looked into. The guy is just taking things slow, that's it. I don't think we need to deconstruct the man's psychology as to why this is, question his life and who he is etc etc as has been done in a lot of posts. The man just wants to take things slow. End of.

 

I agree with this in particular what I bolded. Especially because the OP (and a few other women on here) have had a history of falling for aggressive dudes with boundary issues. One reason why this pattern keeps repeating itself might be because when such a woman dates a guy who does take it slower, she dismisses him as "not interested", "not masculine", or whatever.

 

Although in this situation I will say that "I'm blushing" is a strange thing for a guy to say. It comes across as effeminate. I am thinking that this is the objection--that this guy is not masculine or less than confident, and not so much that the guy is sexually conservation/taking his time. Although even here we are talking about one text.

[Woggle]

I seriously don't see how being horny indicates an interest level. Many men would have sex with anything that moves so how does that prove anything?

[William]

Good responses so far. <snip>

I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I probably have too much time on my hands to overanalyze this because he's been away on a work trip for a few weeks -- unfortunate timing since we had just started up.

 

 

Thread starter, if/when you desire further input or have more comments to post, in light of your statement of 'wait and see', please alert on this posting and request the thread be reopened.