less sexually aggressive men?

[lino]

It's a few dates and not a few months of dating. I don't see what is so odd about this. Are some women so conditioned to believe men are horny pigs that they are shocked when one isn't?

 

Yeah you hear them endlessly complain how men are just pigs who want nothing but sex and are only after their body, don't care for their personality, whatever other bullsh*t.

 

Then they meet a respectful guy and... Complain!

 

Blokes just can't win, no matter what they do.

[Soxfaninfl]

Personally I like being punched in the tit.

 

**** that doesn't hurt? Hell if you just flicked my balls slightly with your finger I'd be down on the floor in pain.

[iKING]

OP I guess it all depends on if you WANT a man who is aggressive in the sack. If so then you may have to wait to see how this one is when it's horizontal boogie time.

 

Me personally I always appreciate a man who goes slow. Then I get to be the aggressor. Recently my interests have changed however and I prefer dominant men.

 

The underwear thing is hilarious but not very accurate.

 

The funny part about the underwear assumptions is there was no positive option.

 

Basically if you wear underwear, you're bad no matter which way you go.

 

Personally anytime I'm home I'm commando, boxers in public. Not trying to provide a show or anything.

 

Anyways! His reserved attitude could be either entirely indicative of his sack style, or not at all, being respectful almost to the point of being timid is both good and bad. Good because he's probably not trying to use you for sex, bad because it isn't exactly arousing to be handled like you're hot lava.

 

If you appreciate his respect, roll with it, it sounds like he's just trying to be a nice guy. It may not reflect how aggressive he is in bed, perhaps he turns into Tarzan when the lights go off, who knows. If It's too peculiar for your taste, perhaps It's something to reconsider, you could also try giving him a green light and see if his attitude will loosen up.

[hppr]

Is something off or is this how high quality men act when they're courting a girl? It's just so far out of the realm of my experience that I'm not sure what to think.

 

The guy you're describing is normal, you probably just dated dirtbags in the past who only wanted you for sex.

[SJC2008]

I'd say just give it the benefit of the doubt the guy could be a cave man we don't know that. The last girl I dated seemed "normal" not forward but not too shy. I grabbed her but on our 4th date and got a pretty firm "excuse me". Well on our 5th date one thing led to another and we got down and she was really into it! So into it she was going so fast I just stopped and let her do her thing and then she called out "harder" and we we're having complications due to where we were and she told me to spit on it. Sorry if this is TMI but my point is that If I would of judged her on her 4th date comment I'd of guessed she was a prude and she was anything but!

[SJC2008]

I hate boxers and honestly don't know why most men prefer them over briefs. I like the luggage to be secure, not floping around! Besides any pair of boxers I've ever ownd rode up on me and turned into briefs anyway lol!

[Soxfaninfl]

Boxer briefs are the way to go.

[Lonely Ronin]

Blokes just can't win, no matter what they do.

 

Maybe if some of then didn't whine so damn much, they would win more often.

[mortensorchid]

There is a fine line, all joking aside. Sometimes there are complete and utter pigs who do nothing but project physically or verbally to all women around them that they have that one thing on their mind. And then there are those who are able to control it, which he sounds like he is doing. I'd wait until he gets back and then see what happens. And as for boring? Well, sometimes boring is better than drama anyday. And who knows? If you are already, maybe he could be adventurous and have a certain sense of humor, maybe you could both introduce yourselves to "new things" together.

[mn311601]

Wow, you can't win for anything on here, can you? An admittedly nice guy who treats a woman with respect and is gentlemanly and the woman is on here questioning this guy like something must be wrong with him. How dare he didn't call her a slut and treat her like a sex object and try and get into her panties.

[mn311601]

I am so glad I don't really have any urges or need to go out and try and date women. All these threads make me shake my head. I'm not aggressive or daring, I'd probably be worse than this guy. Just thinking about the woman after the date coming on here making a thread about the weird guy who didn't try and finger her on the date, or that because I am going slow there must be something wrong with me. The whole thing just puts me off from even wanting to try.

[MrCastle]

What do you have for someone who goes commando like myself?

 

^^^anything?

[miss_jaclynrae]

My guy isn't sexually assertive at all... and I love him for it.

 

 

 

 

I also tend to not be a very sexual person, so it suits me.

Boring? Never, it is always amazing, just because it is with him.

 

 

 

He rocks the boxer briefs btw, and every once in a while he pulls out the briefs!

[SJC2008]

how about go with the flow? how is this strange? slow leads to better relationships.

 

Most people don't consciously date. Physical attraction + good conversation = a match. People don't try to get to know eachother below the surface. They don't see if their morals or life goals match up.

[Ruby Slippers]

it's outrageous and shows how society has devolved. what should be outrageous is sleeping with someone you hardly know. amazing.

I agree. Fast food ****ing.

[gaius]

If he's blushing from the idea of cuddling with you just make sure you don't say any heavy words like penis or vagina. He might pass out.

[Emilia]

If he's blushing from the idea of cuddling with you just make sure you don't say any heavy words like penis or vagina. He might pass out.

 

My point exactly. Hilarious how many people are offended on this thread

[Emilia]

Last girl I dated, I stopped calling after are 4th date, because she hadn't opened up at all on our dates, and barely communicated between them. The girl i just started dating had me hooked half way through our first date.

 

This is why I don't care much for formal dates - Star Gazer started a good thread on this - why waste your life spending it with people who have no idea how to connect? It amazes me how many just go on dates, have sex after X number of meets, spend 3-6 months together then end up surprised that it's not working because they don't like each other all that much. Yawn

[Emilia]

Good responses so far. In the midst of otur making out at the end of the first date he said, "this is more intimate than I've gotten with anyone so fast." Then he added, "but it feels natural." It was obvious he was turned on, but I was surprised by his comment. He also told me he really likes me and is looking for a relationship. He indicated he was concerned I was just after a fling. It was an odd role reversal: usually I'm the one who is worried a guy is moving too fast and viewing me as a piece of meat.

 

He seems to be cautious in general, not just sexually. He is very into formal kind of dates, while I'm more of a hang out girl. Not that I mind dates but I find hanging out a more natural way of getting to know someone.

 

Maybe this is a good change of speed, because often I've felt that in my relationships the physical outpaces emotional intimacy.

 

I'm just a little concerned he has some sort of weird sexual hang ups. I have dated a couple of guys who moved very slowly and they both had hangups. One was very insecure about his penis size, another had been molested by a parent.

 

I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I probably have too much time on my hands to overanalyze this because he's been away on a work trip for a few weeks -- unfortunate timing since we had just started up.

 

You have a very balanced view of this I think, keep us posted please. Very interesting.

[lino]

Maybe if some of then didn't whine so damn much, they would win more often.

 

 

The whining OP wasn't started by a bloke

 

I never hear men whining that they are used for, and lusted after simply for sex by women and then next minute start whining that they've met a woman who is too kind and respectful with them.

 

If a mate of mine did make a complaint to me like that I'd consider slapping him upside the head.

[runningfar]

I call that appropriate.

I don't see what's wrong here nor do I assume he's boring in bed. Not my experience.

[musemaj11]

At least he has a good job. That should count for plenty.

[Emilia]

Another lie told by women. They preach how a guy must wait for sex, but they secretly want to be ****ed this instant.

 

Well done Sherlock, here is a biscuit.

[Emilia]

How many times have you told this lie? Women lie about big things but expect guys not to lie about anything or even withhold information.

 

No it's not a lie, I was serious. Everyone wants sex but the smart ones hold back for a while. Completely true and everyone knows it.

[Emilia]

Women put guys in the classic no win situation by complaining about guys who want sex immediately, yet secretly want sex immediately. What the hell do you want? Is your goal to set up and embarrass guys?

 

No just to weed out the freaks, weirdos, paranoid types, socially inept, etc etc