less sexually aggressive men?

[Els]

Men need to learn the bedroom is where women let their submissive insane side off..its where they can be what they really want in a relationship which is to be dominated by a man

 

Why do you think books like 50 shades are so popolar or rape fantasies? not becasue women want to be treated nicely in the bedroom they want to be dominated and pounded into submission on the verge of tears

 

Ill even stick their head in the toilet and other things to make them feel oveprowered and dominated its hot

 

:lmao::lmao:

 

Oh, man.

 

Stop talking like you know how to Dom. Srsly.

[ThaWholigan]

Men need to learn the bedroom is where women let their submissive insane side off..its where they can be what they really want in a relationship which is to be dominated by a man

 

Why do you think books like 50 shades are so popolar or rape fantasies? not becasue women want to be treated nicely in the bedroom they want to be dominated and pounded into submission on the verge of tears

 

Ill even stick their head in the toilet and other things to make them feel oveprowered and dominated its hot

Dat Justin Slayer tactic

[SteveC80]

:lmao::lmao:

 

Oh, man.

 

Stop talking like you know how to Dom. Srsly.

 

My dominate is not that corny 50 shades stuff or bdsm werido **** its overpowering physically spitting choking etc

 

Women respond to that more then tenderness

[SteveC80]

Dat Justin Slayer tactic

 

maybe ill start wearing my shirt like him also

[Els]

My dominate is not that corny 50 shades stuff or bdsm werido **** its overpowering physically spitting choking etc

 

Women respond to that more then tenderness

 

Yes, I'm sure plenty of women fantasize about having their heads shoved down the toilet.

 

While you're at it why not give them a wedgie and push them into the gym pool, too? So hot and dominating and overpowering.

[man_in_the_box]

Also buy a locker and shove her in there.

[Emilia]

OP is talking about the early stages of dating.

 

Men who are "sexually aggressive" in the early stages of dating won't magically turn into respectful gentlemen once in a relationship.

 

Sorry, girls.

 

There are plenty of men who are sexually aggressive yet you can take them home to see your mum. There are a lot of people out there with a longer emotional range than a shoestring.

[ThaWholigan]

maybe ill start wearing my shirt like him also

To be fair, I have done similar . So I know what you're talking about, but I don't think this is the case with all girls.

 

I've never done the toilet thing though, that's f-cking weird

[William]

A thread on more sexually aggressive men, complete with graphic sexual details, can be started in the sexual health forum. Let's keep the explicit sex descriptions out of this thread and focus on less sexually aggressive men as relationship prospects. Thanks.

[Dusk1983]

Unfortunately you quoted Drseussgrl, who isn't the OP and said nothing about the early stages of dating.

 

OP's question was about the early stages, but I responded to your post about the "inner beast coming out" once trust is established in a relationship because it's the exact opposite of the OP's scenario.

 

I simply quoted Drseussgrl prior to that because she expanded nicely on the gist of the OP - that it is attractive for a guy to be sexually aggressive in the early stages. My point is: fine. Just accept that they're probably not going to become a gentleman down the line.

 

It doesn't work like that, IME, but it absolutely can (and should) work the other way round - exactly as it has in your relationship.

[Dusk1983]

There are plenty of men who are sexually aggressive yet you can take them home to see your mum.

 

If you're taking them to see your mum then it's beyond the realm of this discussion - men who are sexually agressive in the early stages of dating.

[ThaWholigan]

If you're taking them to see your mum then it's beyond the realm of this discussion - men who are sexually agressive in the early stages of dating.

You can be sexually aggressive and still be a gentleman in the early stages.

[Bengal Tiger]

The guy I'm seeing now is very respectful, gentlemanly and sexually reserved. We've gone on a few dates and we haven't gone farther than making out, but I can tell he's attracted to me. He seems reluctant to bring me back to his place, though. A couple of nights ago we were talking online (he's abroad for work for another week), and I told him I had to sign off to get to sleep. After I signed off he texted me, "I was going to say I wish I was cuddling in bed with you. Is that too forward?" When I responded back that it wasn't, he wrote, "And maybe a little kissing too ." I told him I'd like that and he said, "I'm blushing."

 

I'm so unaccustomed to this kind of timid, apologetic approach from a guy when it comes to sex. It's also a bit strange because he's very good looking, has a great job, seems to be pretty socially smooth, and I know he's had at least two serious girlfriends (he's 27).

 

Is something off or is this how high quality men act when they're courting a girl? It's just so far out of the realm of my experience that I'm not sure what to think.

 

OP, don't worry just yet. This sounds like standard operating procedure for many guys including me. It means he thinks you may be a keeper and doesn't want to scare you off. See if he escalates as you both get to know each other and probably drop hints the way women do when they want some.

 

Good luck!

[Lonely Ronin]

You can be sexually aggressive and still be a gentleman in the early stages.

 

Absolute truth.

 

I think a big issue is that a lot of guys don't know how to show they are physically attracted to a woman other than through sex.

[PJKino]

Absolute truth.

 

I think a big issue is that a lot of guys don't know how to show they are physically attracted to a woman other than through sex.

 

If a man approaches a women talks ot her and then asks her out on a date that should be enough proof for her to realzie hes physically attracted to her

 

She shouldnt doubt it just because a guy may not be overly agressive on the first date, not everyone has the same personality

[ThaWholigan]

If a man approaches a women talks ot her and then asks her out on a date that should be enough proof for her to realzie hes physically attracted to her

 

She shouldnt doubt it just because a guy may not be overly agressive on the first date, not everyone has the same personality

Yeah, but you still have to be somewhat expressive, physically or verbally. You can approach her and all that stuff, but if you come across as a neuter or too safe/boring, it will eventually be a turn off. They want to feel desired, like you can't wait to have her .

[Emilia]

You can be sexually aggressive and still be a gentleman in the early stages.

 

Absolute truth.

 

I think a big issue is that a lot of guys don't know how to show they are physically attracted to a woman other than through sex.

 

A lot of people are quite simple and 2 dimensional I think. Men show this differently from women of course.

[Lonely Ronin]

She shouldnt doubt it just because a guy may not be overly agressive on the first date, not everyone has the same personality

 

That's not what I mean, a lot of guys don't know how to show a woman they are attracted to them other than those two extreme ends of the spectrum. I have seen this a lot, and also given advise to friends about how to show a woman they are attracted to them, when they are in the big grey area between the extremes.

[PJKino]

That's not what I mean, a lot of guys don't know how to show a woman they are attracted to them other than those two extreme ends of the spectrum. I have seen this a lot, and also given advise to friends about how to show a woman they are attracted to them, when they are in the big grey area between the extremes.

 

Everyhting has to be such a fine line with women god its frustrating:laugh: seems so much easier to be a women just sit back and judge you while you try to prove yourself lol

[Lonely Ronin]

Everyhting has to be such a fine line with women god its frustrating:laugh: seems so much easier to be a women just sit back and judge you while you try to prove yourself lol

 

It's not a fine line at all, its a 12 lane wide highway, all you have to do is get on and pay attention to the signs.

[Imajerk17]

This is a very interesting thread, and it illustrates a lot of things.

 

1. "Mom's advice" tells guys to be very "respectful" to women much as the guy the OP is dating is doing now with the OP.

 

2. PUA advice is mostly about using something called push-pull in a clever fashion. (Here "push" is to push the girl away psychologically--disqualify or "neg" her, while "pull" is to draw the girl in psychologically say with a compliment or making a physical move.) The idea is that by being mysterious and making her wonder, her interest in the guy will go up.

 

3. Guys who happen to be good with women, I've noticed, don't really do push-pull PUA-style (see 2. above). They instead do something more what I'm going to call "hard pull", which is to make bold moves early on signifying interest.

 

 

You can see the results. Women tend to be worriers. If a guy does 1. or even 2. a woman starts to wonder what is wrong--either with herself or the guy. See a woman--especially the more emotional women on here--wants to be swept off her feet and for things to happen fast. Most guys that a woman has been with have done 3. She might not have had the best luck with these guys turning into quality boyfriends (many guys who come on that strong actually have boundary issues while the more reserved guys tend to be more "high-character"), but that is what she is used to/turned on by, so that is what she would like to stick to.

 

Anyway tuxedo_cat, my advice would be to chill and give it some time. As it doesn't seem that you have had a lot of luck with the guys who did 3. it might serve you well to give things a chance with the more reserved guy as he might make a great boyfriend, which is what you are looking for I'm guessing.

Edited March 20, 2013 by Imajerk17

[carhill]

An additional positive is that the young man is 27, good-looking and has apparently had two LTR's/girlfriends in his past, so has some experience with women. What that experience was is unknown. He's demonstrating caution, apparently antithetical to the OP's usual experience. OP, what do you propose you can do or say to facilitate this moving forward or to provide yourself with some resolution?

[PogoStick]

my professional opinion:

 

briefs -- narcissistic, vain, slutty or alternatively virginal/child-like

 

boxers -- lazy, normal, unclean, or laid back

 

boxer briefs -- controlled, timid, inhibited, or uptight

 

thongs -- creeper

 

 

Boxer briefs -- because some of us need the support

[Woggle]

It's a few dates and not a few months of dating. I don't see what is so odd about this. Are some women so conditioned to believe men are horny pigs that they are shocked when one isn't?

[Dusk1983]

You can be sexually aggressive and still be a gentleman in the early stages.

 

Yes, but the chances are low. Really, really low. Look around you. Talk to some women. Talk to some who've been burned, used or fooled.

 

There's no getting away from it, mate - it's way more likely that a man who's sexually aggressive right off the bat is a player / jerk / douchebag / insert pejorative here.

 

This is not rocket science - a man is only sexually aggressive because he's been able to get away with it in the past. It delivers results: sex.

 

Despite the lies women spin to themselves, a man like this isn't suddenly going to become a charming gentleman down the line. Why the hell should he?