ThaWholigan Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 i am not going ot be able to attract a decent black man. just a bum or a loser who doesn't want to committ. the good ones all want women who are light or look somewhat mixed You shouldn't think that way, it will come. Trust me, there are lots of black men out there who love dark skinned women . You will find them.
kaylan Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 LOL screwing a chick you wouldn't date has NOTHING to do with color. Most to nearly all men would have sex with a woman they wouldn't date, even women know this. So if a woman doesn't like pale men is that colorism? You cant be serious? How is it not colorism to sleep with dark women but not want to date them because of their skin color and using bull reasoning as to why youd date lighter women? Come on dude. 2
mesmerized Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 OP, if it's any help, I have a friend who is dating a dark skinned black women and loves her a lot. He is a tall handsome blonde man. 2
SJC2008 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 You cant be serious? How is it not colorism to sleep with dark women but not want to date them because of their skin color and using bull reasoning as to why youd date lighter women? Come on dude. Is it colorism for a hot blonde not wanting to date me because I'm pale and turn red like a boiled lobster when I get too much sun?
kaylan Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 OP...leave the south if you can. If you cant, move to a big metropolis city like Dallas or Austin.
tbf Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 This has been going on since 2009, same issues, no changes. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/200343-my-insecurity-just-eating-me-alive#post2356940 It's time to do something about your insecurities MJ.
kaylan Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Is it colorism for a hot blonde not wanting to date me because I'm pale and turn red like a boiled lobster when I get too much sun? God forbid you understand what Im saying. Rarely , if ever do hot blondes say a guy is too pale for them and care about him turning red. If anything he can always tan a tad. What Im saying is how Ive known some white guys to want to use certain races of women for sex, but only date white women. How is that not colorism? Why should the girls be any less dateable on their color or ethnicity alone? And the guys wouldnt have good reasoning behind it. Because plenty of girls at my college had similar cultures with most of them being suburban girls. 1
ScreamingTrees Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Despite being black? I hate to sound like the PC squad, because I hate those *******s, but, that just sounds stupid.. I know what you both meant.. You/she deserves happiness *despite* being black? lol? Doesn't that just sound.. wrong.. ? And usually I'm the first one to think "you think that sounds racist? **** you!" but.. what???
SJC2008 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I'm not attracted to dark women and I'm not going to apologize for it. Especially since I'm open to interracial dating and have done more than once might I add. And to use the sleep with but won't date example when I never said that, when most men do that regardless of race is wrong.
Author MissJoness Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 You shouldn't think that way, it will come. Trust me, there are lots of black men out there who love dark skinned women . You will find them. that's only until someone lighter comes along. it always happens.
Author MissJoness Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 there's no hope for me whatsoever. being a darkskin woman is a curse. i guess i have to make most of this awful life i've been given
ThaWholigan Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 that's only until someone lighter comes along. it always happens. Not always. You should stop assuming the worst - sometimes the more you believe something, the more you manifest it and it becomes real. Anyway, I read that thread that tbf posted. I think this is what is contributing.
SJC2008 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Despite being black? I hate to sound like the PC squad, because I hate those *******s, but, that just sounds stupid.. I know what you both meant.. You/she deserves happiness *despite* being black? lol? Doesn't that just sound.. wrong.. ? And usually I'm the first one to think "you think that sounds racist? **** you!" but.. what??? What was she talking about? Don't play my words on me. If I didn't articulate well I'm sorry.
kaylan Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I'm not attracted to dark women and I'm not going to apologize for it. Especially since I'm open to interracial dating and have done more than once might I add. And to use the sleep with but won't date example when I never said that, when most men do that regardless of race is wrong. How are you not getting this? I wasnt specifically talking about you and your attractions. I was talking about how Ive seen plenty of other white dudes behave. How am I wrong for pointing that out. Ive not been the only one to experience this either. And yes plenty of guys sleep with women they wouldnt date... but to do so based on color is colorism...the same way doing so based on weight makes one a shallow jackazz 1
Author MissJoness Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 Not always. You should stop assuming the worst - sometimes the more you believe something, the more you manifest it and it becomes real. Anyway, I read that thread that tbf posted. I think this is what is contributing. it is the truth. if i like a guy, he always goes for the girl who has straighter hair, lighter eyes or skin. I ALWAYS lose out. I cannot think of one time where a guy chose me over a lightskin girl. not once. I'd have to try incredibly hard to win him over that I probably will just wind up humiliating myself in the process i'm not a happy person at all. I am very angry and bitter about life and everything else. sometimes i can't wait to get old and just die. i feel like death would be better than this life sentence i am living. i feel like a prisoner in this darkskin. i am just being punished for something i have no control over
aj22one Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I admit to colorism I'm just not attracted to women of my color. haha
SJC2008 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 God forbid you understand what Im saying. Rarely , if ever do hot blondes say a guy is too pale for them and care about him turning red. If anything he can always tan a tad. What Im saying is how Ive known some white guys to want to use certain races of women for sex, but only date white women. How is that not colorism? Why should the girls be any less dateable on their color or ethnicity alone? And the guys wouldnt have good reasoning behind it. Because plenty of girls at my college had similar cultures with most of them being suburban girls. I know where you're you're coming from but don't loop me in with them. I don't use women for sex and everyone here knows that.
kaylan Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 it is the truth. if i like a guy, he always goes for the girl who has straighter hair, lighter eyes or skin. I ALWAYS lose out. I cannot think of one time where a guy chose me over a lightskin girl. not once. I'd have to try incredibly hard to win him over that I probably will just wind up humiliating myself in the process i'm not a happy person at all. I am very angry and bitter about life and everything else. sometimes i can't wait to get old and just die. i feel like death would be better than this life sentence i am living. i feel like a prisoner in this darkskin. i am just being punished for something i have no control over Look honey, though Im a black man in america and we are viewed different dating-wise than black women are, I will still say this: Embrace who you are and embrace those who find you sexy. KNOW that you are desirable and attractive. Believe it. Embrace dark skin and kinky hair the way I do. Embrace those full lips. Grow some kick ass natural hair if you havent already. Just have that confidence. There were so sexy ass sisters on campus back when I was in college. I loved the girls rockin the dreads or natural fro puffs. Dont sweat the color thing too much. I deal with it too...and it sucks knowing some people discount you because of it, or only see you are a hook up prospect because of their dumb views. But keep on truckin anyway. Define your own value. Find those who recognize that value. All in due time. PS - You are in TX right? 2
SJC2008 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 OP when people struggle with dating they look at themselves and at the opposite sex. In my case I'm very subconscious about my head, it's long and not round and I have a skinny face. Plus I'm read headed and I don't think mos women like reads. So what do we have in common? We struggle with dating and are blaming our looks and the opposite sex.
ScreamingTrees Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 What was she talking about? Don't play my words on me. If I didn't articulate well I'm sorry. I didn't "play your words on you".. I just pointed out how ridiculous that sounds. The way you worded it, although I was aware that you didn't mean it that way and did mention that if you cared enough to not overlook that disclaimer, it sounded like you were saying "yes, you deserve happiness even though you're darker.." I just pointed out how silly it sounded, I didn't accuse you of anything, so calm yourself. I'll bet my having a very fair, nordic skin tone has rendered me invisible and sickly looking to the majority of darker skinned ladies. Oh well.
SJC2008 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Unless I missed it OP is not telling us where she lives. The notheast is your best chance so if you don't live in the NE then move there. 1
SJC2008 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I didn't "play your words on you".. I just pointed out how ridiculous that sounds. The way you worded it, although I was aware that you didn't mean it that way and did mention that if you cared enough to not overlook that disclaimer, it sounded like you were saying "yes, you deserve happiness even though you're darker.." I just pointed out how silly it sounded, I didn't accuse you of anything, so calm yourself. I'll bet my having a very fair, nordic skin tone has rendered me invisible and sickly looking to the majority of darker skinned ladies. Oh well. Point taken my bad. 1
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Why would you want to date a white guy? They're lame! The girl I hang out with is a halfie, and she's super cute. But if she had the same features that she has but with dark skin, I would be all about that, too. She just happens to be light, but her skin tone doesn't mean much to me.
ScreamingTrees Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Unless I missed it OP is not telling us where she lives. The notheast is your best chance so if you don't live in the NE then move there. I agree. Around the NY region and surrounding boroughs/states, I can say that I've encountered plenty of people - even italian looking guys who I'd never have pictured with anyone other than some italian girl, with black girls. So you'd probably have the greatest chance
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