ja123 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 He just texted me... Hi, My name is ------ and I just saw your profile on Match.com. What the heck????????????????? What is that???????? OK, this guy is really toxic. Can you see that? He's playing massive manipulation games with you now. My advice is not to text back, but to drop this toad now, and go NC forever. What are you planning to do?
Minneloa Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Brunettie, I urge you to go back and read all your threads on LS, one by one. There is such a distinct pattern: he neglects you, and you come here for reassurance. To me, this seems like a recipe for constant insecurity and unhappiness. I know you have strong feelings for him, but from my vantage point it seems clear that you deserve more than this. You deserve someone who will respect you, pay attention to you, and listen to you. M.
Minneloa Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 He just texted me... Hi, My name is ------ and I just saw your profile on Match.com. What the heck????????????????? What is that???????? Wow, that seems like straight-up mockery. He's taking his own misbehavior (creeping on Match while he's in a relationship) and trying to "joke" about it with you. What a jerk.
Author Brunettie Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Wow, that seems like straight-up mockery. He's taking his own misbehavior (creeping on Match while he's in a relationship) and trying to "joke" about it with you. What a jerk. He texted again (I didnt reply) and said I hear you like scrapbooking. I don't get this. What is he trying to do? You think he's mocking me...? Because we're broken up now...so it's ok to have an account if I want to. Although I deleted it bc I wasn't even using it and I didn't want to subscribe. This makes me feel really weird.
Minneloa Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I think he's trying to be funny by pretending that he saw your profile on Match. However, this isn't very amusing because his Match account (and his refusal to admit any wrongdoing) is precisely what upset you and led to the argument that resulted in your "break."
Treasa Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I think you deserve everything he's doing to you. And the reason I think you deserve it is because you're letting it happen. I really hope that this experience does to you what it did to me, and makes you stronger and a lot less tolerant to bull****. You are very much lacking in both self-esteem and self-respect, which usually go hand in hand.
ascendotum Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Wow, that seems like straight-up mockery. He's taking his own misbehavior (creeping on Match while he's in a relationship) and trying to "joke" about it with you. What a jerk. Are you into scrap booking OP? I don't know if he is being a jokester. I reckon the wally somehow got her number mixed up with one of his favorite girls on Match. You'd think OP's name would be against her number though...IDK. He didn't muck around did he. Has it been a day yet.
MidwestUSA Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Mockery. Worse than his original screwup of staying on match. Get busy, get out, meet people, enjoy life! Do not respond to him.
Author Brunettie Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Are you into scrap booking OP? I don't know if he is being a jokester. I reckon the wally somehow got her number mixed up with one of his favorite girls on Match. You'd think OP's name would be against her number though...IDK. He didn't muck around did he. Has it been a day yet. I am. And it has been a little over a day.
Treasa Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Why are you even in contact with someone who is doing this?? OMG. PLEASE get some self-respect, get angry, and block him in every fashion. 1
ascendotum Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I am. And it has been a little over a day. Ok. Maybe its deliberate then and he is trying to tease you. I think you should ignore them. If you wonder if he is going to use the break to play on Match, have a friend monitor his profile or create a bogus one. I bet you will see daily activity, and hopefully that will get you to reevaluate this relationship.
Treasa Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Ok. Maybe its deliberate then and he is trying to tease you. I think you should ignore them. If you wonder if he is going to use the break to play on Match, have a friend monitor his profile or create a bogus one. I bet you will see daily activity, and hopefully that will get you to reevaluate this relationship. I think she should skip directly to the end where she realizes that this guy is a dick and is ok with giving her a month to obsess and worry and feel worse and worse about herself, and promptly sends him a text (today) that reads, "You are such a ****ing loser. I want to be with a real man. That isn't you. **** off, you mother****ing waste of sperm." And then block.
veggirl Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 He told you he was on Match for NETWORKING?! :lmao: Girl you should have dumped him on the spot, he's not even TRYING to come up with a plausible excuse (not that there is one but...). I hope you didn't text him back, did you? Just drop off his radar, please! This guy is a grade A douchebag and has nothing of any value to offer you or anyone else!
snowflakes88 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I don't know. I really love him. and he's not the one calling all the shots. At the end of the month, I get a say on whether I want to get back together or not too. You've got to be kidding me. He's on a dating site behind your back to meet other women. Tells you it's none of your business and he's going to do what he wants. Chastises you for your reaction. Says he doesn't miss you or think about you when you're not together. Puts YOU on a break. Exactly what shots are you calling??? He is in complete control of both you and this "relationship" and you are just being dragged along for the ride. Of course you'll want to get back with him at the end of the month. I know that, you know that - and importantly, HE knows that. 5
snowflakes88 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Looking at your post history, it seems he's been trying to break up with you for awhile now. It sounds like he has already checked out. You'd be a fool to let him be the one to pull the trigger, with the way he's been treating you.
Treasa Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 You've got to be kidding me. He's on a dating site behind your back to meet other women. Tells you it's none of your business and he's going to do what he wants. Chastises you for your reaction. Says he doesn't miss you or think about you when you're not together. Puts YOU on a break. Exactly what shots are you calling??? He is in complete control of both you and this "relationship" and you are just being dragged along for the ride. Of course you'll want to get back with him at the end of the month. I know that, you know that - and importantly, HE knows that. I don't think it could be put any better than this. 1
venusianx13 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) Brunettie, I wanted to jump in and say that no one here is "mad at you". People are mad FOR YOU and are delving out a bit of tough love. For many years, I didn't want to hear anything of the sort when I was with my narcissist ex (who sounds alarmingly similar to your boyfriend). This game he is playing with texting you as if he'd seen you on Match, well, it's sick. He KNOWS he is upsetting you, and if my assessment is right and he is like my ex, he's enjoying it. You have a co-dependent dynamic with him, and you are part of the problem. You are enabling him with your inevitable response to his bad behavior. I have warrant to say that, because I've been in your position as well. You are a part of a very, very diseased dynamic. As much as, yes, you are a victim here, you are part of the problem because you allow it. Things will never get better until this dynamic is eradicated; he will not change. Please, believe me. Now, I stated in my last post that you need to start to believe that there is someone better out there for you. Someone mentioned that it might be an unhealthy idea to carry around from relationship to relationship, and I agree with that. I'm not trying inspire a GIGS mindset in healthy relationships. My point is: someone who doesn't respect you, doesn't make you feel secure and loved, and who doesn't protect your heart does not deserve to have you. There is someone out there who will be good to you, but this guy is just not it. In addition, you sound as if you've fallen under his spell and are of the belief that there's no life after him. You have probably also been subconsciously led to believe that you just aren't worthy of love. Please, use this month to allow yourself to come out from under "his spell" and once you have, I believe you'll start to see things more clearly once the delusions have begun to fall away. My advice to you when this happens: RUN WITH IT, and don't look back. Edited March 25, 2013 by venusianx13 2
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