OLD - how it should be done

[Eternal Sunshine]

This is from Amy Webb's book where she collected and analyzed data from 1000s of profiles so it's science based.

 

1. Use aspirational language. Keep language aspirational, positive and optimistic. Talk in generalities about your hopes, dreams and passions, as long as those things are not controversial. Keep your tone conversational and light.

2. Write succinctly. Keep your profile short but pithy. Aim for between 90 and 100 words, which works out to about three sentences. Choose your words carefully. If you're not a good writer, figure out the keywords and points you need to make, then ask a friend to help you out.

3. Use amazing photos. Photos should focus on your waist up, unless you have amazing legs. Then it's OK to include one or two full-body shots in your gallery. The majority of your photos should be closer up, highlighting your face. Make eye contact with the camera. Don't stage a smile. Instead, try to laugh just before the shot is taken.

4. Don't try to be funny. If you want to use humor, write whatever you're planning to say down and show it to some friends or co-workers. Have them read it aloud. With your tone of voice and inflection, it may be hilarious—but out of your friend's mouth it may fall flat or even be offensive.

5. Don't use specifics. Avoid mentioning specific comedians, shows, books, musicians or movies unless those are top-tier attributes on your list. It's possible to be generic about what you like while still being specific enough to sound interesting. Just because you like Louis C.K. or Larry David doesn't mean that a potential suitor does. Unless that comedian is one of your deal-breakers, leave him or her off your profile.

6. Avoid controversy. If you think there's something about what you've done in life that may be controversial or open for interpretation in a way that disadvantages you, then leave it off. I'm talking about political or activist work here, not things like jail time.

7. Downplay your accomplishments (but only initially). Women: if you've won a Pulitzer or climbed Mount Everest or for some reason own a jet, this is wonderful news—just don't share it online. These are the types of details to work into a conversation on your first or second date. If someone introduced himself to you at a party, would the next thing out of your mouth be items off your CV? Of course not, so don't act that way online. Most people don't want to see a list of what you've done unless they're hiring you for a job.

8. Flirt wisely. Be careful while flirting online, since it's easy to sound too aggressive too soon. The best way to flirt is to care deeply about whatever your date is saying and to focus all of your attention on him or her. We're flattered when people throw attention our way. So ask thoughtful questions. Take a keen interest in the conversation. Be enthusiastic. If you wouldn't use your cheesy line in person, don't use it digitally.

9. Use the 20 hour rule. If someone instant messages you while you're online, go ahead and IM back if you want. Otherwise, wait 20 to 23 hours between e-mail contacts for the first few messages. I found that successful daters waited that amount of time and as a result still seemed eager without coming off as desperate.

10. Don't act like a stalker. Avoid sending any messages while most people are sleeping, even if you're wide awake. Shoot for business hours or just after dinnertime.

[MrCastle]

I want to collect and analyze you

[Eternal Sunshine]

I want to collect and analyze you

 

lurve ya :love:

[Keenly]

OLD doesn't really work for 90 percent of men, no matter how well you compose your profile. Its pretty much just so hot chicks can stroke their egos.

[MrCastle]

OLD doesn't really work for 90 percent of men, no matter how well you compose your profile. Its pretty much just so hot chicks can stroke their egos.

 

And the penises of the remaining 10% of men.

[Keenly]

And the penises of the remaining 10% of men.

 

One in ten is hardly worth the BS of the internet though. Some pretty stacked odds. Its not impossible, but its way more difficult than real interactions .

[Eternal Sunshine]

Those tips are mostly for women on how to attract quality guys rather than just those looking for sex.....

[Keenly]

Those tips are mostly for women on how to attract quality guys rather than just those looking for sex.....

 

Oh I didn't realize.... my bad.

 

Hopefully the dudes looking for just sex are easy to spot.

[CryForNoOne]

This is basically the cast a wide net theory which I'd only recommend if you have a hard time getting dates IRL. I went online because I'm sick of attracting women that are not my type. I did all the above initially, and as I did my results mirrored real life. I kept the tone positive but added some specifics that could be construed as red flags or limiting. But its working really well for me. I am not getting any more responses than before but the ones I do get are much more my type. Last Friday I got messaged by a girl who is exactly my type and we had an awesome date today. She would have never contacted me if I hadn't said some controversial things on my profile. So be yourself. In the end you'll be better off. I'm putting in much less effort now and getting much better results!

[ascendotum]

This is basically the cast a wide net theory which I'd only recommend if you have a hard time getting dates IRL. I went online because I'm sick of attracting women that are not my type. I did all the above initially, and as I did my results mirrored real life. I kept the tone positive but added some specifics that could be construed as red flags or limiting. But its working really well for me. I am not getting any more responses than before but the ones I do get are much more my type. Last Friday I got messaged by a girl who is exactly my type and we had an awesome date today. She would have never contacted me if I hadn't said some controversial things on my profile. So be yourself. In the end you'll be better off. I'm putting in much less effort now and getting much better results!

 

I tend to agree with you as regards be yourself, unless doing so is getting you squat. Then you could massage your profile following these guidelines. For most women who are getting a stack of msgs each week, I don't necessarily think they need to follow the 10 rules. If a woman is reasonably attractive, then I think she would have a better chance of finding someone who really clicks with her if she just displayed her true self in the profile and msg chat and not crimp her character by avoid funny & avoid specifics & avoid controversy & downplay her accomplishments & avoid flirting & be diligent on msg protocol. Keeping it light I think is a very good general concept though.

[Woggle]

Just be yourself and you should catch a quality person. I met my wife the old fashioned way and not online but I am sure the same concept applies.

[creighton0123]

All the points minus point 9 are alright. Your 9th point seems more like playing games. If someone messages you, there's no reason why you can't respond if you're online or within a few hours.

 

It's common courtesy. Don't intentionally ignore someone for a day if you're free and able to respond to them. It's disrespectful of other people's time.

[Eternal Sunshine]

All the points minus point 9 are alright. Your 9th point seems more like playing games. If someone messages you, there's no reason why you can't respond if you're online or within a few hours.

 

It's common courtesy. Don't intentionally ignore someone for a day if you're free and able to respond to them. It's disrespectful of other people's time.

 

Yeah, I don't really do that. I tend to respond right away, except when I value someone highly and want to think of my response for a bit...but it's not to play games.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have realized that my profile sounded a bit too detailed and self absorbed, which admittedly I can be. So I took some stuff out. I was also highlighting my negatives which I thought came across as "cute" but probably just drew people away.

[Star Gazer]

Spoken like a true serial-online dater. :/

[Star Gazer]

I also don't agree at all with 2, 4, 7 and 9. (And when I OLD, I have a lot of success...)

[Eternal Sunshine]

Since I have met most OLD men in 100 radius of my town, my conclusion is that I need to move.

 

:waiting for Star to hit me with something:

[Eternal Sunshine]

And do you know who my top 3 matches are on OKC within 100 mile radius?

 

1. My ex that I lived with (who I didn't meet online)

2. My FWB turned friend turned nothing that I just started a thread about

3. My other friend that I knew for 9 years and never felt any sexual spark towards (also didn't meet him online)

 

So yeah..

[Andy_K]

Except for point ten, virtually all those points are rubbish. I say that with about 7 years OLD experience (including several girlfriends), both in what I find works in my own profile and what I'd be most likely to respond to in someone else's.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Except for point ten, virtually all those points are rubbish. I say that with about 7 years OLD experience (including several girlfriends), both in what I find works in my own profile and what I'd be most likely to respond to in someone else's.

 

I do point 10 regularly. I have strange sleeping patterns so I respond to guys at 4am often :S

 

I also send in completed work during the night. My bosses have stopped questioning it a long time ago.

[ls32ssibm]

It's not that I necessarily disagree with your points, but it's just that OLD is just horrible. The best advice I could give anybody about OLD is don't do it.

[Object_a]

5. Don't use specifics. Avoid mentioning specific comedians, shows, books, musicians or movies unless those are top-tier attributes on your list. It's possible to be generic about what you like while still being specific enough to sound interesting. Just because you like Louis C.K. or Larry David doesn't mean that a potential suitor does. Unless that comedian is one of your deal-breakers, leave him or her off your profile.

 

This is some great advice and I really wish people would take it to heart. If you look at enough OLD profiles they all sort of blur into one indistinct list of TV shows and band names. It's far better to give a general indication like "I like horror movies" or "I read history" or whatever your thing is. I can't speak for others but that's enough for me to decide if we'll have something in common.

[RedRobin]

When I was doing OLD, I met the best guys by not posting pics. Well, I'd post a pic of part of me that tied into my profile... Like a pic of me from the knees down on pointe (ballet)...

 

One time I took a picture of my shadow that people thought was pretty cool.

 

It was different, and creative and stood out (yea, I checked my competition). The ones who insisted I show them a picture, I didn't respond to.

 

The ones who took the time to read my profile and let me volunteer to show a pic or not ended up being some pretty solid guys. I asked one of them why they took a chance. He said that he learned that some of the most beautiful and down to earth women don't post pics because they don't like being spammed.

 

(nice line!) But seriously, when I was there, it really helped the weeding out process. The ones who are more looks obsessed or just a piece of *ss won't bother. Which is the ones you don't want anyway.

 

That said, I'm not a fan of OLD. The multi-dating and pace of things wasn't for me. I'm stepping up my participation in the local running club and some other local events this summer. Have got a fundraiser to go to tomorrow night One of those "invite only" events. Should be good.

[RedRobin]

OLD doesn't really work for 90 percent of men, no matter how well you compose your profile. Its pretty much just so hot chicks can stroke their egos.

 

try contacting the ones without pics. You might be surprised. They aren't looking for strokes...

[charlietheginger]

This is from Amy Webb's book where she collected and analyzed data from 1000s of profiles so it's science based.

 

1. Use aspirational language. Keep language aspirational, positive and optimistic. Talk in generalities about your hopes, dreams and passions, as long as those things are not controversial. Keep your tone conversational and light.

2. Write succinctly. Keep your profile short but pithy. Aim for between 90 and 100 words, which works out to about three sentences. Choose your words carefully. If you're not a good writer, figure out the keywords and points you need to make, then ask a friend to help you out.

3. Use amazing photos. Photos should focus on your waist up, unless you have amazing legs. Then it's OK to include one or two full-body shots in your gallery. The majority of your photos should be closer up, highlighting your face. Make eye contact with the camera. Don't stage a smile. Instead, try to laugh just before the shot is taken.

4. Don't try to be funny. If you want to use humor, write whatever you're planning to say down and show it to some friends or co-workers. Have them read it aloud. With your tone of voice and inflection, it may be hilarious—but out of your friend's mouth it may fall flat or even be offensive.

5. Don't use specifics. Avoid mentioning specific comedians, shows, books, musicians or movies unless those are top-tier attributes on your list. It's possible to be generic about what you like while still being specific enough to sound interesting. Just because you like Louis C.K. or Larry David doesn't mean that a potential suitor does. Unless that comedian is one of your deal-breakers, leave him or her off your profile.

6. Avoid controversy. If you think there's something about what you've done in life that may be controversial or open for interpretation in a way that disadvantages you, then leave it off. I'm talking about political or activist work here, not things like jail time.

7. Downplay your accomplishments (but only initially). Women: if you've won a Pulitzer or climbed Mount Everest or for some reason own a jet, this is wonderful news—just don't share it online. These are the types of details to work into a conversation on your first or second date. If someone introduced himself to you at a party, would the next thing out of your mouth be items off your CV? Of course not, so don't act that way online. Most people don't want to see a list of what you've done unless they're hiring you for a job.

8. Flirt wisely. Be careful while flirting online, since it's easy to sound too aggressive too soon. The best way to flirt is to care deeply about whatever your date is saying and to focus all of your attention on him or her. We're flattered when people throw attention our way. So ask thoughtful questions. Take a keen interest in the conversation. Be enthusiastic. If you wouldn't use your cheesy line in person, don't use it digitally.

9. Use the 20 hour rule. If someone instant messages you while you're online, go ahead and IM back if you want. Otherwise, wait 20 to 23 hours between e-mail contacts for the first few messages. I found that successful daters waited that amount of time and as a result still seemed eager without coming off as desperate.

10. Don't act like a stalker. Avoid sending any messages while most people are sleeping, even if you're wide awake. Shoot for business hours or just after dinnertime.

 

1 talk bs

2 keep it short

3 photoshop

4 dont show a sense of humor

5 dont tell them what you're really about

6 avoid reality

7 don't talk about success things

8 don't tell her you want to bone her its obvious or you wouldn't have messaged her

9 if you are interested dont message back right away wouldn't wanna look desperate with a "old profile" that parts obvious no need to show it

10 only message from 5 pm till 9pm wouldn't wanna give the impression you stay up past

10pm we all know americans are in bed before leno

 

All these great tips will make a great profile follow them and im sure

Every senior citzen women over 65 cant wait to meet you